A Shaman In the Melon Bin (choice, Revelation, God, religion)

Sunstone · #1 06-08-2006, 07:56 PM

I was a melon wanting to be thumped in the grocery store
(Hearing it go on all day)

And it sounded good, the thumps, thumps and touch
That came before someone left who was chosen.

Then by chance, I saw my surroundings,
Saw with shaman eyes
The mysterious message of God against our rinds
Is His inscrutable self-interest ----- Irrelevant then,

And we have in this clear chilled world
Only our own love:

How misplaced that love is
To make a cult of being chosen!

It was about then,
Someone tried to sell me their religion.

Feathers in Hair · #2 06-08-2006, 08:12 PM

I think this one is one of my favorites so far!

Sunstone · #3 06-08-2006, 08:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by FeathersinHair

I think this one is one of my favorites so far!

What?? You like one of my poems! Are you daft, woman? I only inflict them on people to demonstrate for their edification the truth of the Buddhist claim that "all life is suffering." Your like is subversive of everything I stand for in poetry, dang it!

Slightly more seriously, would it be too rude of me to ask what exactly do you like about it? The rhythm? The message? The word choice? The gratuitous sex? I'm very curious.

Feathers in Hair · #4 06-08-2006, 08:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sunstone

What?? You like one of my poems! Are you daft, woman? I only inflict them on people to demonstrate for their edification the truth of the Buddhist claim that "all life is suffering." Your like is subversive of everything I stand for in poetry, dang it!

Slightly more seriously, would it be too rude of me to ask what exactly do you like about it? The rhythm? The message? The word choice? The gratuitous sex? I'm very curious.

Ah, but I'm well known for being subversive! You yourself were the first one to see through my true identity as a rabble-rouser!

While I usually frown on gratuitous sex, I think it was subtle enough to get by. What I especially loved was the melon having 'shaman eyes' and the revelations that were brought by it. The idea of the wasted love of being 'gods chosen' was very profound, I think.

Sunstone · #5 06-08-2006, 08:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by FeathersinHair

Ah, but I'm well known for being subversive! You yourself were the first one to see through my true identity as a rabble-rouser!

While I usually frown on gratuitous sex, I think it was subtle enough to get by. What I especially loved was the melon having 'shaman eyes' and the revelations that were brought by it. The idea of the wasted love of being 'gods chosen' was very profound, I think.

Thank you, Feathers! You are, paradoxically, so very kind to comment on it, despite your extraordinary subversive cruelty in choosing to like the poem. As usual when encountering your perversity, I don't know whether to feel gratitude or cry bitter tears of failure.

Sunstone · #6 06-08-2006, 09:32 PM

I've got to share this!

Feather's just fruballed me for the poem with the message, "I'm glad you didn't choose to title it, 'Please don't squeeze the shaman'".

Feathers in Hair · #7 06-08-2006, 10:04 PM

*grin* Well, I am glad!

Ramacharaka · #8 06-08-2006, 10:27 PM

I don't think it had anything to do with Religion besides this "being chosen" concept, egotism of which is known as "Jesus coke" hence grail thing da vinci code movie brought to public light, true or not.
It had nothing to do with the coconut man which can have something to do with cocaine, but it should have been about a native american in the mental hospital, left on the shelf, or coconut tree to rot. (I don't want to be accused of giving writers free ideas to steal that look like they have already been published so sorry for posting it...I think its a good idea anyway.)

It was a strange way to bring up the coconut man theme combined with the word "shaman" so whatever I like it. I won't save it like I would a poem and story about this as it still didn't eternally define the theme. If the melon was used for disguise of coconut theme, as "against our rinds" connotates, It seemed like coke was brought as a theme instead as a part of this disguise as egotism etc. it wasn't something I would call tacky, but I digress.
I like it.
I also don't want to sound like I am critiquing your writing. I am mearly making commentary. This is a good place to publish, things you may not care about enough to publish officially. The Internet does rob writers like that, and also readers of their time. Mabye that was what it was about. internet writing.
The cult of being chosen and self interest conflicting perfectly describe the world of Internet publication. I do hate liars.