Alison (virgin, experience)

[Sunstone]

I lie awake into the heart of a soft summer night,
Listening to the cicada shove life forward,
Beat upon beat, until their wild shrill pulse
Is swallowed silent as a memory into time,

Then begins. Again.

And I remember once a woman passed this way
Into the heart of a long ago summer,
On the wild, shrill scream of a generation then alive.
In their ending silence she became nothing, no more

Than a name. Alison.


(1993)

[standing_alone]

I really like this poem. I especially liked the mention of the cicada. Did you mean it to be a sort of metaphor? Living dormant underground for years before coming back above the surface? Is that to be like the memory of Alison in the second four-line stanza? Or am I competely missing the point of the mention of cicadas or ascribing the cicadas too much importance?

The line "Then begins. Again." also interested me syntactically (I believe that's the word I want ). It interested me that it speaks of a beginning ("Then begins") then has a period right after it - which is an end. Same thing as "Again" suggests repitition, but it also ends, though this isn't as interesting to me as the period after the "Then begins." I found this interesting. Did you have any purpose for that or was it just the way you wrote it, not regarding that? It just caught me, because semi-colins and commas could have probably been used there to show things were "beginning" or "repeating," and carrying on, where a period just sort of "stops" or "ends" things.

Also, the singling out of the name "Alison" in the last line was likable. Though I know it is following the pattern of the "Then begins. Again." line that precedes it, the name Alison is singled out ("Alison.") - the name then the period stopping it. It shows that it is an important detail, to be singled out like that - this memory is important, since this woman touched the life of the narrator when she "passed this way" in "the heart of a long ago summer." The memory, like the sentence, concerns itself only with Alison, no other details, perhaps.

Also, the line that reads "In their ending silence she became nothing, no more" caught my eye, since it carried over to the next line it had no period. It was interesting to me because, unlike the "Then begins." line that has a period end it (which seems like a sort of juxtaposition), this one ("no more") has no period and thus carries on into the next line. I found it interesting that something "no more" carried on - perhaps like this memory of this woman that is no longer there carries on in the mind.

I could go on more about this poem and I'm sure I'm missing most of the point analyzing mostly just the syntax. I just like to analyze the syntax because it often can reveal an even deeper meaning than what is first realized by just reading the author's diction - also, when people post poems to be analyzed, no one ever seems to observe syntax, which is often very carefully chosen by the author. If I had hours or days to spend just thinking about this poem, I could write much more. Maybe I can go more into it at a later time. Analyzing the syntax sets me up for going into more. I at least hope that my (very brief and poorly done) analysis of your syntax at least interests you.

[Sunstone]

Your analysis of syntax is spot on, Alyssa. Especially with this poem: I spent days on the syntax of it, weighing alternatives. It pleases me immensely that you basically agree with me on the meanings I tried to convey and reinforce via syntax. Whoooo Hoooo! I feel the work put into it was justified! Thank you for making the effort!

BTW, the answer to your question about the circada is yes.

Sorry, I haven't had enough coffee yet this morning to be more coherent.

[Sunstone]

Originally Posted by Alyssa

I just like to analyze the syntax because it often can reveal an even deeper meaning than what is first realized by just reading the author's diction - also, when people post poems to be analyzed, no one ever seems to observe syntax, which is often very carefully chosen by the author.

Are you sure you're only a 19 year old virgin, Alyssa? Could it be possible you are actually twice that age, an experienced woman of the world and arts, and have published at least one guide to poetry criticism? The internet makes it so easy for posers like you to dupe unsuspecting folks like me, dang it, but I'm onto you now!

I think it would be so fun to take a class with you in poetry.