PLEASE HELP a newbie understand buddhist detachment from desire (ritual, Buddhism)

[mistermark3]

I am very interested in the idea of ending or reducing my desires. As I understand it, this is largely a Buddhist concept. I guess what I dont understand is what this really means. Not desiring a big house, a fast car, the nicest clothes... Fine. I understand that. But does it also mean not desiring to have ANY house, ANY car, ANY clothes? Does it mean ending my desire to have a strong relationship with my parents, family, and friends? Does it mean ending my desire to bring life into this world? Does it mean ending my desire to play sports and learn non- spiritual things, like sailing a boat? IF ANYONE CAN HELP ME I AM JUST REALLY REALLY LOST HERE. Cheers!

[ericoh2]

Many Eastern religions hold a similar view when it comes to desires particuarly Buddhism and Toaism. The concept lies in the teaching that you must transcend the mind. Your true self lies much deeper than just your body and mind because you can become aware and control both your thoughts and the body. Finally when you go deep enought all that is left is pure witnessing consciousness, that is all. That is your true self and it exists in the eternal present moment. So to understand what it means to eliminate all desire you must understand that only the "here and now" exist. The past and the future are illusion and no desire can occur in the present moment. In order to bring your entire being into the "here and now" your mind must completly stop in order to allow your true nature to be seen and felt. You must be entirely focused on the present moment and once you are "right here, right now" desire can not exist.
If you are truly interested in techniques to help you in this area I highly recommend getting a copy of The Book of Secrets by Osho. It is one of the most reader friendly and helpful books that I have come across. I hope this could be of help.

[Neo-Logic]

Originally Posted by mistermark3

I am very interested in the idea of ending or reducing my desires. As I understand it, this is largely a Buddhist concept. I guess what I dont understand is what this really means. Not desiring a big house, a fast car, the nicest clothes... Fine. I understand that. But does it also mean not desiring to have ANY house, ANY car, ANY clothes? Does it mean ending my desire to have a strong relationship with my parents, family, and friends? Does it mean ending my desire to bring life into this world? Does it mean ending my desire to play sports and learn non- spiritual things, like sailing a boat? IF ANYONE CAN HELP ME I AM JUST REALLY REALLY LOST HERE. Cheers!

Are you saying you want to lose your ambitions in life? Desire isn't necessarily a bad thing. Desire to succeed, make money, help people, secure a great life for your family. Why WOULDN'T YOU want that? Because you fear some religious teaching of heaven/hell concept?

You don't want your children to grow up having a nice house to live in? You don't want your children to see the world and experience the fruits of your labor? You don't want your family to be taken care of by your efforts? Do you believe you can do more good being rich and being a philanthorpist or being poor having nothing but "bliss?"

Remember that money is not the root of all evil. It is only the love of money that is the root of all evil. If you have goals in life you want to accomplish, how can you do it without desires?

Sounds kind of loser-ish to me. Mean that in the most respectful and helpful way possible. Now ... snap out of it and go get what you want from life and stop worrying about some teaching.

[zenzero]

Friend Mistermark3,
Your enquiry about
*Detachment from Desire*
Firstly to correct you Buddhism itself is an offshoot of the Sanatana Dharma which means one that has no begining or end i.e. Hinduism and so the concept too is original from hindusim.
Next, The religious or spiritual people of the east have studied, meditated and understood existence in a different way.
The understanding is that humans have eveolved from other life forms and that humans have a developed mind which is the reason that humans are not in tune with existence like other beings. Mind always lives in the past and future and never in the present and living in the present is living in harmony. The mind is always desiring and that keeps the person busy and astray from reaching the goal of mergeing and living in harmony with existence in this garden of eden.
Only when all desires are over that the mind relaxes for the person to be free of thinking and the goal reached,
Now, how to be *Deatached from Desiring*? That is by being watchful of the cunning mind and not allowing him to desire anything at any time. By being alert one can check whenever his mind desires anything.
Love & rgds

[doppelgänger]

Originally Posted by mistermark3

I am very interested in the idea of ending or reducing my desires.

Why do you want to end or reduce your desires?

[Willamena]

Originally Posted by doppelgänger

Why do you want to end or reduce your desires?

Must be the desire for detachment.

[lilithu]

Originally Posted by mistermark3

I am very interested in the idea of ending or reducing my desires. As I understand it, this is largely a Buddhist concept. I guess what I dont understand is what this really means. Not desiring a big house, a fast car, the nicest clothes... Fine. I understand that. But does it also mean not desiring to have ANY house, ANY car, ANY clothes? Does it mean ending my desire to have a strong relationship with my parents, family, and friends? Does it mean ending my desire to bring life into this world? Does it mean ending my desire to play sports and learn non- spiritual things, like sailing a boat? IF ANYONE CAN HELP ME I AM JUST REALLY REALLY LOST HERE. Cheers!

First and foremost, Buddhism is not ascetic.

When Siddhartha Gautama, the man who would become the Buddha, first started to try to attain enlightenment, he tried asceticism. For years, he denied himself all material comforts, subsisting on the most meager of nourishment. And he wasn't getting anywhere. What he finally realized is that asceticism is itself an attachment.

So... he called to a woman who was nearby for nourishment, and she offered food. And after a good meal, not extravagant but not meager either, his body was sufficiently looked after that it no longer hindered his meditation. He meditated again, this time with his new found understanding, and in the course of one night attained enlightenment.

Denying your body, heart, and mind what they need will not end attachment. Shelter and transportation and clothing, friends and families and interests are things that most humans need. Trying to do without them when you still want them will only make you unhappy.

What Buddhism says is to to not be attached to the outcome. So, for example, you need shelter, you want a house. That's fine, you want a house. You work, save your money, get a loan, buy a house. All fine. But if, during all that time, you are thinking "I want a house, I want a house, woe is me, I don't have a house." THAT is attachment. Or if you picture a particular house and think "If I had a house like that, it would really speak well of me. Therefore I must have a house like that." That is also attachment. Or if you see a house you really like and make an offer but someone outbids you and you are crushed, that is attachment. Does this make sense?

These are the things that cause suffering. It's not the house itself that causes suffering and therefore there's nothing to be gained by avoiding the owning of a house. The same for the other things you listed.


HAVING SAID ALL THAT, the Buddha did live very simply. He lived a life that we might consider ascetic by our standards today. But he didn't do it by denying things that he wanted. As one progresses in the path of Buddhism, one may find that one doesn't really need or want all the things that one thinks one does. But if it ever comes to that, you will not suffer to give them up, so no need to worry about it now.

[doppelgänger]

"Hear the echoes and feel yourself starting to turn
Don't know why you should feel
That there's something to learn
It's just a game that you play."

-Al Stewart, "Time Passages"

[lilithu]