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#1
03-14-2006, 10:20 AM
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Choodianism: an introduction
"In the Book of Choodle, there are many pages, and on those pages are many paragraphs, and in those paragraphs, there are many sentences, and in those sentences, there are many words, and in those words, there are letters.... and occational punctuation!" -- Book of Choodle, original translation
It's not easy being the leader of a New Religous faith. (the ONLY TRUE faith, that is) Everything I, the Almighty Poowawa, will say, is directly from the God Choodle! He has a son: Jesus the Indifferent. The Book of Choodle was found in a tree! Yes, this particular text was found in the tree tops. Made of the hide of twenty two and 1/2 people, the texts are sacred and holy. Choodle directed me to these texts by way of the Panda. I saw a panda, and it said, "come, follow me" and it led me to a tree. The panda dissapeared, but I happened to look up and see this magical book in the tree tops! The Book of Choodle contains revelation of the end times and conduct for generations until that end time. There are 17 signs of the end of the world before Jesus comes for his "4th roaming." So it is said in the Book of Choodle. I am the only one who can touch it, because I'm just that holy! There exists a hierarchy within this establishment: 1) Almighty Poowawa - the holy of holies, able to recieve revelation from Choodle... (like the Pope sorta!) 2) Rook ... special advisor to the Poowawa, capable of powers the Poowawa cannot perform, and works out most doctrine. 3) Higher Bluejay - high advisor to the Poowawa 4) Lower Bluejay - advisor to the Rook 5) Treasurer -- Keeps the money we tithe, and gives it to organizations like the national "center for kids who want to learn to read good." We also have knights Poobwar, which act like the knights templar, in charge of keeping safe our "holy grail" which is actually ....something you cant know about unless you're a member!  The symbol for Choodle followers is a Cupcake. Why? Because our SOUL is like a cupcake! Here's the explination: "It's fluffy, warm, light, and sweet, with unique icing! So in this way, we will always have a cupcake! It's within us!" Common prayers: (more to come) "cupcakes a plenty, Depp runs through our heads, Poowawa is leader, and we're excited cultists!" ... it rhyms in the original Greek.... Anyway, this is our brief introduction... which should be moved to a sticky... any questions? Feel free to ask any of the Orthodox Choodle members.  (preferrably me though, since i'm the Poowawa)Last edited by Buttons*; 03-14-2006 at 10:24 AM. 
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#2
03-14-2006, 10:31 AM
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(continued) On Hell...
We have our own version of Hell... but we say it in the context of "the flames of Chapultapec and Guadalajara" ... two names, one hell, got it? We have a heaven, and it is called "aaaaahhhhh, ooooohhh" Anything that makes you experience these noises brings you THAT much closer to "heaven" so rejoyce!!! You get there by following the rules of the Almighty Poowawa, and pledging our alliegence to Choodle and its word! If you're basically good, you'll also go to "aaaaaahhhhh, oooohhh" because Choodle is fair!
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#3
03-14-2006, 11:41 AM
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organizations like the national "center for kids who want to learn to read good." and aaaaahhhhh, ooooohhh" Anything that makes you experience these noises brings you THAT much closer to "heaven" so rejoyce!!!
Made by day Ashley. Thank you. You seriously made my day a heck of a lot better.
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#4
03-14-2006, 12:03 PM
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Well, it looks like Choodianism has at least doubled the number of faithful in the past hour. This probably makes it the world's fastest-growing religion.
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#5
03-14-2006, 12:06 PM
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I joined for the cupcakes!
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#6
03-14-2006, 12:09 PM
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Quote:
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#7
03-14-2006, 12:31 PM
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mmmm....cupcakes.
__________________
It's only in the mysterious equation of love that any logical reasons can be found.
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#8
03-14-2006, 01:39 PM
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Quote:
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#9
03-14-2006, 05:22 PM
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Yes, and no one should have to burn in the flames of Chapultapec! OR Guadalajara!
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#10
03-14-2006, 05:26 PM
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Well, this religion seems to be dying on the vine. I might have to become an apostate. I'm thinking a creating my own new syncretic religion. It will be based upon Episcopalianism, Gnosticism, Baptistism, LDSaintism, and atheism.
Who's with me? High Priestess Lunamoth (you may kiss my ring)
__________________
It's only in the mysterious equation of love that any logical reasons can be found.
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