How do I teach my child? (ritual, beliefs, hell, mission)

[Feathers in Hair]

If you can find a UU church, I'd definitely take her there. Their appeal to tolerance will help you and your daughter be able to feel supported while teaching your daughter that she need not feel conflicted about the two faiths. Tell her you'll support her in whatever she believes, too!

[Darkdale]

Originally Posted by Shoo

I have a 5 year old daughter. Her extended family, the only family within 90 miles of us, is Christian. My daughter spends quite a lot of time with them, and they have taken it upon themselves to teach her Christianity. Not just teach her, but make her believe what they believe. She comes home espousing the Christian viewpoint, and it makes me very uncomfortable. I fear it is just a matter of time before she announces that I will burn in hell for not believing.

I would avoid UU churches if I were you. But, I would try to include your child in your own religious practice, but ultimately, show your child unconditional love, because whether pagan, heathen, christian, muslim or jew, the unconditional love of our children is paramount.

My parents are Christian, I'm Heathen. They've told me that I'm going to burn in hell. But there is NO DOUBT in my mind that they love me. I think they are arrogant and intolerant, and they have no doubt in their minds that I love them to death!

Just curious, what religion are you?

[Buttons*]

welcome to RF!

[soma]

It takes time to believe and accept the unifying force in one God and for the undesirable experiences accumulated to gradually disappear. We are either for or against unity so for something new to be born we need to pass from a sense of being isolated into a realization of oneness with everything.
Fundamental Christians are usually against unity so preach against unity in a very strong voice. The book on the site below is for adults, but it explains the unity of all things using Christian terminology. The philosophy in the book should counter-act the negativity projected from narrow minded Chrititians.
http://thinkunity.com

[Evenstar]

I would have to tell them to keep their noses out.... sounds harsh but the only way.

[linwood]

Have you asked your family to respect your beliefs and to leave how to raise your child in a religion (or not) up to you?

Personally, I would cut her off from these people. I would not want anyone preaching intolerance to my impressionable 5 year old especially if it undermined my ability to guide her away from intolerance. It sounds like these people are driving a wedge between you and your daughter.

yes and yes.

If these people will not stop their indoctrination of your child you cannot allow them to be alone with her....ever.

Please speak with them so they will know you are serious.

Do not allow this to continue, stop it now, this minute.
You have no idea the problems and troubles you will have if you don`t.

They're good people. I've got a feeling they're going to tell me that when/if my daughter is at their home, she'll learn Christianity whether I like it or not. The alternative will be that she can't go there anymore.

Then take that opportunity.
The arrogance of someone who would get between a parent and their child in such a manner isn`t someone who I would allow near my child anyway.

I am an atheist, as an atheist having atheist friends I can tell you no good will come from allowing these people access to your child if they continue to indoctrinate her.
I can also tell you that even if they agree to stop the practice they most likely will continue to do so behind your back.

[jeffrey]

Seeing the op posted this a month ago, has only 2 posts, and has not been back to post since then....

[nightwolf]

A young child is at a real value developing age. The things about church that children like is it is made fun for them. I think what is going on can be a good thing. When I was a child the only thing I had was church, no one telling me about anything else. You could show your child about the fun things about what you believe. Like lets take nature for example, alot of religions center around nature and you can show your child how it's fun to play in the rain/snow and why and how the natural event effects you spiritually. Make what you believe fun for the child. Thats what they see in church. If you take away christains then your child might ask later in years why they never heard of it and resent you if thats what they choose to believe. Religion is all about choices and you show your child what you believe and make it fun and they will become interested. Don't make a religious "tug of war" over it, your child even though young can make choices.

[Shoo]

Originally Posted by nightwolf

A young child is at a real value developing age. The things about church that children like is it is made fun for them. I think what is going on can be a good thing. When I was a child the only thing I had was church, no one telling me about anything else. You could show your child about the fun things about what you believe. Like lets take nature for example, alot of religions center around nature and you can show your child how it's fun to play in the rain/snow and why and how the natural event effects you spiritually. Make what you believe fun for the child. Thats what they see in church. If you take away christains then your child might ask later in years why they never heard of it and resent you if thats what they choose to believe. Religion is all about choices and you show your child what you believe and make it fun and they will become interested. Don't make a religious "tug of war" over it, your child even though young can make choices.

This is so true. Thank you. I've taken some of your advice and have tried to begin talking to my daughter about the different beliefs that people have, including her "other" family. I really want her to understand that just because they "say so" doesn't necessarily make it true, and that she should be open to what I tell her too. She shuts down and tells me she doesn't want to talk about it.

These people have been able to make her believe that their way is the way it should be. I don't know how they did it, as she hasn't spent *that* much time over there, but she has been to their church a few times and I think she had fun. I'm approaching the whole thing gently with her, as I definitely don't want it to become a tug 'o war. I guess I feel hurt that, to her, my words and feelings don't seem to carry as much weight as theirs. I feel slightly insulted. This is hard.

Thank you for listening.

[Shoo]

Originally Posted by jeffrey

Seeing the op posted this a month ago, has only 2 posts, and has not been back to post since then....

Quite sorry about that. When this whole thing started "hitting the fan" so to speak, we were in the process of selling our house and buying another. We've been moving and unpacking, and settling into life in a new place. I apologize for seeming to not care about all the terrific responses to my questions. I am truly appreciative that anyone has taken the time to help me figure this out.