How do you honor the dead? (Earth, funeral, cremation, pagans)

[Gentoo]

What sort of Pagan-y ways do you guys honor the recently dead?

Not only did I just come back from my Grandmother's services, but I just got off the phone with my mom saying that on her side my Great Aunt has just died as well. I want to do something to honor them, but since I was close to both of them, simply lighting a couple of candles doesn't seem quite enough..

What would you guys do?

[Katzpur]

Originally Posted by Gentoo

What sort of Pagan-y ways do you guys honor the recently dead?

Not only did I just come back from my Grandmother's services, but I just got off the phone with my mom saying that on her side my Great Aunt has just died as well. I want to do something to honor them, but since I was close to both of them, simply lighting a couple of candles doesn't seem quite enough..

What would you guys do?

Sorry, Gentoo, I know this is the pagan forum, but have you thought of some kind of living memorial. You know... planting a tree or something like that? When my dad died, we had a tree planted in his memory at a botanical garden here in Salt Lake. His grave is a clear reminder that he's dead, but when we go visit his tree, it reminds us that his spirit is still alive.

[Somkid]

I honestly think most religions honor the dead in a pagan way via grave markers, flowers, statues, monuments, hospital wings and libraries you know that kind of thing. I keep the deceased in my memories and give consideration to them and what I have learned from them in my life. When I die my body will be burned and dumped into the river no evidence will be left behind of my existence.

[Draka]

Originally Posted by Somkid

I honestly think most religions honor the dead in a pagan way via grave markers, flowers, statues, monuments, hospital wings and libraries you know that kind of thing. I keep the deceased in my memories and give consideration to them and what I have learned from them in my life. When I die my body will be burned and dumped into the river no evidence will be left behind of my existence.

That's kind of strange for me. Most Pagans I know, including myself, abhor the idea of burials and headstones and monuments and such. Perhaps it's a regional thing. Maybe a plant, or naming a child after them, something like that is a living memory, but cold hard stone above a dead body.....*shudder*. Much prefer the idea of cremation myself.

Originally Posted by Gentoo

What sort of Pagan-y ways do you guys honor the recently dead?

Not only did I just come back from my Grandmother's services, but I just got off the phone with my mom saying that on her side my Great Aunt has just died as well. I want to do something to honor them, but since I was close to both of them, simply lighting a couple of candles doesn't seem quite enough..

What would you guys do?

I don't know what I will do when either of my parents die. I know it will be difficult though. I'm not much of a funeral person though. My grandmother died around this time last year and I never went to the funeral. I'm sure there were people there wondering why I didn't go, but I just don't like the morose atmosphere. I did go to the reception at her house though. Just a small gathering with the immediate family really. Instead of going to the funeral, when I first found out she passed I did light a candle, strewn some salt around it to symbolize the departure from her earthly body and sort of talked to her a while and said goodbye. I let the candle burn until I went to bed that night and then said a quick prayer to speed her on her journey before I snuffed it out.

Candles, talking to them, wishing them well, small close-knit gatherings to reminisce about the good times shared with the lost person. I prefer these things to morosely crying and concentrating on the bad. It is fine to cry of course. You will miss them. But to concentrate on the negative is to dishonor their life.

Of course, as Katzpur mentioned, there is always planting a tree or flower garden or the like. Maybe keeping a treasured possession of theirs in a special place in your home. Something that will remind you of the good times shared with that person and will bring a smile to your face remembering them. That, in itself, honors them.

[Saint Tigeress]

I agree with Katzpur and Draka. Maybe you could do a combination of a plant and candles, even one inside. Burn the candles and speak to them. Tell them anything you might have wanted to tell them in life, but didn't get a chance too, or just converse as if they were there. Once the candle melts, say a prayer to comfort the transistion from this life into the next/ from body into spirit etc. before the flame goes out.

[Gentoo]

Thanks you guys

The tree idea is great, although it'll have to wait until I own a house... and have Guitar's Cry take care of it... I have an awful brown thumb.

I think I will light some candles and say a prayer or two, that seems like the best thing to do.

[Saint Tigeress]

You could go to a local store like lowes or home depot, and pick out an inside plant thats already been grown if you don't want to wait. It would take a while for you to grow one. Or Guitars Cry could transplant something for you once you get there. That would be quick too.

[Mike182]

this is a tough one for me, because since being Pagan, i haven't had to face the death of anyone close to me... and touching wood, i won't for a long while.

my friend lost two children via miscarriages over the last couple of years, she got both of their names tattooed on her arm within a love heart as a living memory of them.

i have never really liked the idea of naming someone after a dead loved one, to me that would feel to much like trying to replace them, which you can never do...

i'm sorry i'm of no help here Gentoo,