Question about Marriage?

[Dream Angel]

I seem to have marriage on my mind a lot recently! sorry, I love talking about weddings, I think they are so wonderful. Anyway I have been looking through some websites reading up on the LDS faith etc when I came across an article about Mormon Weddings and Exchanging Rings

Mormon Weddings and Exchanging Rings - Associated Content

Also about the wedding dress specifications if an LDS member wants to get married in a temple. For example it has to be white!

Mormon Bride: Wearing a Wedding Dress - Associated Content

Now if I remember rightly, in the UK an LDS member has to have a wedding where everyone regardless of religion can attend. Is there any particular order to this...could you get married in the temple and then a couple of days later/or same day have a rings ceremony and reception??? or do you have to have the ceremony where everyone can attend first? Is there a rule about the time between one or the other???

I know my Mum will want me to have a big fancy wedding and I have always wanted an ivory wedding dress (obviously not suitable for temple) but my perfect way would be to get married in the temple (in the temple dress) and then have a rings and reception (which would be a very big affair knowing my family) at another time after...I know there will probably be years before I get married, but every girl dreams of her wedding day...right?? (I know you all probably think I am mad! )

I know most of you guys are from the US, so the rules are different and I will probably have to ask members of my ward, but I was interested to see if you guys did know. I would be interested hear about the weddings of those of you who are married??

Thankyou!

[Watchmen]

Originally Posted by Dream Angel

Now if I remember rightly, in the UK an LDS member has to have a wedding where everyone regardless of religion can attend. Is there any particular order to this...could you get married in the temple and then a couple of days later/or same day have a rings ceremony and reception??? or do you have to have the ceremony where everyone can attend first? Is there a rule about the time between one or the other???

I suspect that having a wedding where everyone regardless of religion can attend is more of a practice than a rule. It's probably something most UK LDS choose to do since the LDS population is so small and a lot of friends and family would be excluded if the marriage was limited to the temple ceremony.

I believe the Church would prefer you get married in the temple first then have a rings ceremony next. However, please don't feel constrained by what the "authority" tries to tell you. You know you. You'll know your husband. And you'll each know your family and friends. This knowledge, accompanied by prayer to God, will guide you to the process that's best for your situation.

I know my Mum will want me to have a big fancy wedding and I have always wanted an ivory wedding dress (obviously not suitable for temple) but my perfect way would be to get married in the temple (in the temple dress) and then have a rings and reception (which would be a very big affair knowing my family) at another time after...I know there will probably be years before I get married, but every girl dreams of her wedding day...right?? (I know you all probably think I am mad! )

I think your perfect way sounds....well, perfect.

I know most of you guys are from the US, so the rules are different and I will probably have to ask members of my ward, but I was interested to see if you guys did know. I would be interested hear about the weddings of those of you who are married??

Thankyou!

The above is my best guess. I really think it's just a common practice rather than a rule, but I admit I could be wrong.

As for my wedding, my wife was not LDS when we were married so the Bishop married us in a friend's home. We've been married for awhile now. During our marriage she joined the Church and has been growing ever since. She likes to take things slow, which I think is good. The rush to go to the temple as quickly as possible after baptism (1 year) ignores the fact that we are all different. For her, it has been a journy of many years. But she will most likely be going to the temple this Fall - and she's better for making the journey she has rather than rushing to it.

Good luck, Sister.

[Worshipper]

Originally Posted by Dream Angel

Now if I remember rightly, in the UK an LDS member has to have a wedding where everyone regardless of religion can attend.

That would depend on the laws in the UK. If the law in the UK requires that all weddings be open to the public (as it were), then you would probably have two weddings — one that's done in public followed shortly by one that's done in the temple.

In countries where the state only recognizes weddings performed by agents of the state (such as Mexico), it is customary for LDS couples who want to marry in the temple to be wed first by the state and then, within a few days, to be sealed in the temple.

In the United States, that practice goes against Church policy. Here, if you are not wed first in the temple, then you have to wait at least a year before your marriage can be sealed in the temple.

The way the Church deals with weddings in different countries is based on the legal situation in each country and it's done on a country-by-country basis. If the UK requires weddings to be public, then I'm sure the Church has a way of dealing with that. You'd have to ask your bishop or branch president to find out, I'd think.

Is there any particular order to this...could you get married in the temple and then a couple of days later/or same day have a rings ceremony and reception??? or do you have to have the ceremony where everyone can attend first? Is there a rule about the time between one or the other???

I know my Mum will want me to have a big fancy wedding and I have always wanted an ivory wedding dress (obviously not suitable for temple) but my perfect way would be to get married in the temple (in the temple dress) and then have a rings and reception (which would be a very big affair knowing my family) at another time after...I know there will probably be years before I get married, but every girl dreams of her wedding day...right?? (I know you all probably think I am mad! )

I know most of you guys are from the US, so the rules are different and I will probably have to ask members of my ward, but I was interested to see if you guys did know. I would be interested hear about the weddings of those of you who are married??

Thankyou!

My wife and I were married in the temple. We did not exchange rings at that time. My wife wanted a white dress, so she wore her wedding dress in the temple. I think she modified it a bit for the ceremony, either because it was too ornate or too revealing to be appropriate as a temple dress (I can't remember too much about her dress from the ceremony — to be honest all I remember about how she looked in the ceremony is her eyes — that's where my attention was focussed).

Many women have a simple, white temple dress that's different from their wedding dress and they wear the temple dress at the wedding itself and the wedding dress at all the ceremony and festivity outside the temple.

The man also must wear white clothes during the sealing. My tuxedo for the wedding was black, so I did not wear it during the sealing. I did like a lot of women do and had simple, white clothes for the temple and more ornate, more colorful clothes for the rest of the day's ceremonies and festivities. I didn't think there was anything at all wrong with that, and I never got the impression anyone else thought there was anything wrong with it. In fact, I kind of think that the folks at the temple prefer the couple to be sealed in simple white clothing and to save the ornate finery for outside the temple altogether.

After the wedding, we had the reception. Since the wedding was in the morning and the reception was in the evening, I imagine we also ate lunch, but I have no memory of eating lunch that day. Or breakfast for that matter. I do remember my wife's eyes, though! And I do remember dining at the reception. And dancing with my wife.

Because my sister-in-law couldn't be at the temple ceremony, my wife wanted to have a ring exchange at the reception. Her bishop conducted it. He spoke a bit about the symbolism of rings as an emblem of eternity. He talked about the importance of what we had done in the temple that morning. He emphasized that the ring exchange was not a wedding of any kind. We placed the rings on one another's fingers in turn at his direction. We didn't say anything as we did that — no exchange of vows or "with this ring, I thee wed," or anything. That sort of thing is definitely considered inappropriate in ring exchanges that accompany temple weddings but are outside of temple weddings because it lends the impression that what happened at the temple wasn't the real wedding.

[misanthropic_clown]

Just to clarify, a legal wedding in the UK has to be in a place where anyone can theoretically enter, because you must have a registrar present who is theoretically working for the Crown [who has to fill out a bunch of paperwork there and then]. Thus a wedding must take place in a place where an agent for the Crown can enter. This is regardless of whether or not your registrar is LDS (as my granddad is). It is a stupid and outdated law, but I guess that the need for weddings to take place in a non-public building is so low as to pretty much only be a problem for the small LDS population.

In my understanding, you must be legally married before getting married in the temple. So they way it is usually done is to have the big wedding event in a public place then the close family and bride and groom go to the temple for the temple wedding. I have also seen it done where a couple are legally married in a fairly low-key ceremony, have the temple wedding than have a big reception in the evening.

As far as ring exchanges go, that is usually done in the legal ceremony, but sometimes the bride and groom take them off again and exchange them again at the temple wedding given that they consider that one to be more special

[Dream Angel]

Originally Posted by misanthropic_clown

Just to clarify, a legal wedding in the UK has to be in a place where anyone can theoretically enter, because you must have a registrar present who is theoretically working for the Crown [who has to fill out a bunch of paperwork there and then]. Thus a wedding must take place in a place where an agent for the Crown can enter. This is regardless of whether or not your registrar is LDS (as my granddad is). It is a stupid and outdated law, but I guess that the need for weddings to take place in a non-public building is so low as to pretty much only be a problem for the small LDS population.

In my understanding, you must be legally married before getting married in the temple. So they way it is usually done is to have the big wedding event in a public place then the close family and bride and groom go to the temple for the temple wedding. I have also seen it done where a couple are legally married in a fairly low-key ceremony, have the temple wedding than have a big reception in the evening.

As far as ring exchanges go, that is usually done in the legal ceremony, but sometimes the bride and groom take them off again and exchange them again at the temple wedding given that they consider that one to be more special

Thanks...that has cleared the laws of the UK up! One thing I am confused on, I am probably at least two or more hours drive from the nearest temple. It surely cannot be possible to complete it all in one day. Do people have a legal ceremony and reception and then a temple wedding the next day at all or does it have to be in the same place? I am just a bit confused how people who live far away from a temple manage it! Many Thanks

[FFH]

Salt Lake City, Utah LDS Temple, September 1990 (My Wedding Day)


My wife was the first person to join the LDS faith, her mother followed and joined a year after that, but her brother (her only other immediate family member still living) has not joined the church but was with us on our wedding day.

Picture on left: We had lunch that day in the Lion House (Brigham Young's Historic Estate) Picture on right: My sister and my other sister's husband


My wife and my family

[Dream Angel]

Awww FFH, thanks for sharing those, it looks like it was such a happy day for you! Your wife looks beautiful!