options.. (priest, Earth, beliefs, choice, attend)

[cobizig]

Alright i will quickly summarize my life and then get right to it and please dont critisize my spelling or grammar.. im typing this quickly

a boy who went from house to house school to school never seemed to fit into the right 'clique' spending time on the computer playing games living in a fantasy world of games and question.

now i am going to college and i question my whole life ahead of me, i love God. but i feel if i continue to further my education in the field im going in (computer & information technology at purdue)i will push myself from him, involving myself with work too much to not bother with beliefe anymore. But there is a part of me that wants to be a 'monk' like person, i never talk, and i find pros and cons of both. I take too much consideration of what others think of me instead of what i think would make me happy for my earth life. i think i need someone elses help or suggestions to what others would do in my situation. ive been looking for 'monastery'-like places to maybe become a monk. oh and to make matters worse im afraid to do anything because of my family might think of me, i dont know if this will always be in my mind or should i do something extravagant and just move somewhere i can believe in God and do my own thing. Again taking other peoples thoughts into consideration playing a role in life, maybe being ashamed of my decisions or having others look down on me after so long of people expecting a 'good' future out of me. a part of me wants to go to school to please my family and to have a good life for myself, but is it worth risking my beliefs as a person, or should i go with my gut instinct and search for somewhere i can be at peace with God, on earth.

I know this seemed pretty long but i kind of need help..

[Buttercup]

First of all.....sheesh, give yourself a break. The way you feel is entirely normal. So normal that I bet most teens/young adults feel the way you do at this point in their lives, not really sure what to do with themselves after high school.

The most important thing to realize is there's no rush. You don't have to decide the entire plan for your life this summer.

You can't go wrong going to college...and if you got into Purdue, you have a great mind that would be a shame to waste inside a monk's closet.

A question.....are there other reasons why you want to live in a monastery besides liking to be alone?

[!Fluffy!]

There are some excellent alternatives available for you, but please be careful to take your time and do lots of research before making any huge life changing decisions right now.

For example, if you are serious about monastic life, you might want to look into visiting a monastic community or two. I saw a cable tv show called "Divine Canine" on Animal Planet. The New Skete community looked really cool, it is in upstate New York. There is also a community of nuns, and a community of Companions living nearby. They raise German Shepherds and train problem animals.

Here, I found their website for you:
http://www.newsketemonks.com/

I'm sure there are many more such communities around the country of various faiths.

[MidnightBlue]

You should do what's right for you. I think education is almost always a good thing, and I think you're more likely to regret skipping college than you are to regret going to college. Still, college isn't for everybody, and if you have a strong disinclination to go, maybe you should sit down and discuss it with your parents; I'm sure the three of you together can find greater clarity on the issue. If you decide not to go to college, you'll need to think more clearly about what you'll do instead, and how you'll support yourself while you do it.

I wouldn't assume, though, that you'd be less likely to fall into doubt or apathy in a monastery, even a makeshift monastery of your own design, than in college. The monastic life has its own challenges and frustrations.

Frankly, I wouldn't worry about it too much. You'll probably find that your faith will change over time no matter what you do, and that you'll experience periods of varying attachment to it. That which is alive is always changing, and change can lead to a deepening of your faith as well as its diminishment. If you want to make sure you maintain your attachment to it, you can easily make time for that. There may be a Catholic student group at your college, and a nearby parish where you can attend Mass weekly, and possibly even daily, if you want. Getting to know a few people in that parish will give you a built-in "support group" to help you integrate your new life to your existing faith.

I think the most important thing is to sit down and talk to your parents about your doubts. It's likely that they'll want you to go to college, because they'll want you to have more opportunities later in life, but I hope they'll also be sympathetic to your concerns. You can't blame them for not understanding if you don't give them the opportunity to understand.

Best wishes, whatever you decide.

[Comet]

Sometimes others don't know the best way for you, only you do. It is a big decision and a possible life-changing way you'd go. Yet, if you are truly comfortable with who you are and what you believe; you must take the path which has the most heart for you to follow.

Life takes us many places, good and bad.... Yet, in the end we are left with the path we have chosen to follow. A bad decision can end up being the one best made and a good path ca end up being one that we look back upon and wish we'd taken the harder path.

Be strong in who you are and in your relationships. Make the choice that makes most sence to your "gut" or "spirit". Let life take you for a bit and see where it leads....

Best of luck.

[cobizig]

Originally Posted by Buttercup

A question.....are there other reasons why you want to live in a monastery besides liking to be alone?

well i guess i kind of liked reading books about modern times and middle ages, i guess thats the same thing. but ive not looked at all into what monastaries have to offer,(or what i could offer them) i will probably after i post this. i think i thought about how my life would be if i lived that kind of lifestyle. sounds like i want to live my life like house most people would say a 'fantasy world' but simply put, thats it.

[cobizig]

i would like to point out that i am a catholic, baptised, communed and confirmed. i think i will have a talk with the priest at one of the local churches and see what maybe he could offer me... i dont go to church by myself though because i feel i would do it for the wrong reasons: i dont sing, i dont talk. i only greet others (i guess that counts as talking, heh) and pray, and sing the songs in my head.. i guess i seem shy. i dont see the reason to go to a church when i could just stay home and repent alone in my room, without confrontation.. again, college, i dont know if i should go because maybe im going for the wrong reasons. my intentions would be to gain money, i am a money saver..maybe i look into the future too much, i probably need to start thinking about the present and what tomorrow will bring. instead of what actions i will face if i do something today, and what will happen years from now from that action..
not sure

[MidnightBlue]

Originally Posted by cobizig

i would like to point out that i am a catholic, baptised, communed and confirmed. i think i will have a talk with the priest at one of the local churches and see what maybe he could offer me...

That sounds like an excellent idea.

Originally Posted by cobizig

i dont go to church by myself though because i feel i would do it for the wrong reasons: i dont sing, i dont talk. i only greet others (i guess that counts as talking, heh) and pray, and sing the songs in my head.. i guess i seem shy. i dont see the reason to go to a church when i could just stay home and repent alone in my room, without confrontation..

It's generally accepted in Catholicism that regular attendance at Mass and regular reception of Communion are important parts of the faith.

The life of the pentitent recluse is out of fashion, but has many precedents in Christianity. You should note, though, that it's a particularly risky life from a Christian point of view, one in which it's recognized that there's a real danger of falling into spiritual delusion.

The life you seem attracted to is psychologically risky, too. Not to put too fine a point on it, avoiding human contact as much as possible, and spending most of your time alone in your room, repenting of your sins, is a pretty good way to lose your mind. If you decide to pursue that kind of life, you'll definitely need the guidance of somebody who's more experienced in the monastic life.

[cobizig]

Originally Posted by MidnightBlue

The life you seem attracted to is psychologically risky, too. Not to put too fine a point on it, avoiding human contact as much as possible, and spending most of your time alone in your room, repenting of your sins, is a pretty good way to lose your mind. If you decide to pursue that kind of life, you'll definitely need the guidance of somebody who's more experienced in the monastic life.

this is kind of the reply i was wanting, because i feel this way. the more im alone the more i start thinking about different things and leads to thoughts i dont even want to think. insane thinking, i know. but during my summer i havent done much but think.. i guess i dont know what to say but thanks for the input and suggestions. keep them coming, i love to hear what others have on their mind, im open to anything. i wanna think im going in the right path but i wont really know till it happens.

[Buttercup]

Originally Posted by cobizig

this is kind of the reply i was wanting, because i feel this way. the more im alone the more i start thinking about different things and leads to thoughts i dont even want to think. insane thinking, i know. but during my summer i havent done much but think.. i guess i dont know what to say but thanks for the input and suggestions. keep them coming, i love to hear what others have on their mind, im open to anything. i wanna think im going in the right path but i wont really know till it happens.

If you were my son, I'd definitely tell you you need to be pushed a bit out of your comfort zone and out into the world to meet and experience life before you gave any further thought to living a solitary monk's life.

College will bring many more opportunities than you can imagine, intellectually, socially and spiritually if you choose to pursue them. You needn't give up your love for God either. There are college aged Catholic youth groups to check out. You need to break out and live a little!