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Few of us are immune to the frustrations and challenges of daily life—family problems, conflicts at work, illness, stress over money. When we get depressed or anxious, experts may recommend pharmaceuticals or therapy. But a newly emerging school of thought suggests that a simple, age-old principle may be part of both the prevention and the cure: Help others to help yourself.
There’s no shortage of research showing that people who give time, money, or support to others are more likely to be happy and satisfied with their lives—and less likely to be depressed. Could helping others be the key to weathering the inevitable storms of life? Feel-good research Carolyn Schwartz, a research professor at the University of Massachusetts Medical School, didn’t start out looking at the value of helping others. Instead, she wanted to see if receiving monthly peer-support phone calls from fellow multiple sclerosis sufferers would benefit others with the disease. But over time, a surprising trend emerged. While those receiving support appeared to gain some mild benefit, the real beneficiaries were those lending a supportive ear. In fact, those who offered support experienced dramatic improvements in their quality of life—several times more so than those they were helping. The benefits of giving aren’t limited to those who are ill. When Schwartz later looked at more than 2,000 mostly healthy Presbyterian church-goers across the nation, she found that those who helped others were significantly happier and less depressed than those who didn’t. This phenomenon is nothing new. Paul Wink and Michele Dillon found a similar pattern when they looked at data collected every decade on a group of San Francisco Bay Area residents beginning in the 1930s. Those who volunteered and engaged in other forms of giving when they were adolescents were much less likely to become depressed, even as they got older. New research suggests there may be a biochemical explanation for the positive emotions associated with doing good. In a recent study published in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Science, participants’ brains were monitored by MRI scans while they made decisions about donating part of their research payment to charitable organizations. When participants chose to donate money, the brain’s mesolimbic system was activated, the same part of the brain that’s activated in response to monetary rewards, sex, and other positive stimuli. Choosing to donate also activated the brain’s subgenual area, the part of the brain that produces feel-good chemicals, like oxytocin, that promote social bonding. Why doing good works These results may seem surprising, especially since our culture tends to associate happiness with getting something. Why should we humans be programmed to respond so positively to giving? “As Darwin noted, group selection played a strong rule in human evolution. If something like helping benefits the group, it will be associated with pleasure and happiness,” explains Stephen Post, Ph.D., a research professor of bioethics at Case Western Reserve University who co-authored the book Why Good Things Happen to Good Peoplewith Jill Neimark. While evolution may have primed us to feel good from giving, it may not be the only reason helping others makes us feel better. Since depression, anxiety, and stress involve a high degree of focus on the self, focusing on the needs of others literally helps shift our thinking. “When you’re experiencing compassion, benevolence, and kindness, they push aside the negative emotions,” says Post. “One of the best ways to overcome stress is to do something to help someone else.” Even better, feeling good and doing good can combine to create a positive feedback loop, where doing good helps us to feel good and feeling good also makes us more likely to do good. “Numerous studies have found that happy people are more helpful," says Dr. David Myers, a social psychologist at Hope College and author of The Pursuit of Happiness. “Those who've just found money in a phone booth are more likely to help a passerby with dropped papers. Those who feel successful are more likely to volunteer as a tutor." http://health.msn.com/centers/depres...ntid=100167285 |
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You are right, of course - this is something I know, and have put into action over the years to make myself feel better.
Having said that, I believe that the essential lesson -before embarking on helping others, is to learn how to say "no". Someone said to me not long ago (It might be my psychiatrist who is now a gibbering wreck in a padded cell), "you will never enjoy saying "yes" until you have llearned to be comfortable saying "no"........and that is so true. I am one of those idiots who find it hard to say "no"; once you start helping others, many will try to get more and more out of you, and unless you can say "no" (without even feeling the need to explain why you say no, you'll regret the day you decided to help). So, my advice is learn to say "no" before embarking on worthy causes, or you may well end up being resentful.
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My life is an open book; if you don't like the read, put me back on the shelf ....................
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Thanks for bringing that up! ![]() |
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Ah, me jumped in with both feet without clicking on link..............my deepest and most sincere apologies, Mrs Cutterbup. (now if we had a smiley of a man doffing his hat to a lady, I would have used it here; you'll have to use your immagination until I can find one) ![]()
__________________
My life is an open book; if you don't like the read, put me back on the shelf ....................
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