Life and Death: Advise sought. (ritual, soul, experience, atheist)

[YmirGF]

Actually Lady_Lazarus, the last drug that sent him over the edge was one that was banned/recalled in the states awhile back. I forget the short commecial name. It started with C, I am almost certain.

To feathers: I suggested they get a nice "house" dog. But mom basically said, over her dead body. *sigh*

Thank you Michel. Your thoughts are always appreciated. As are ... everyones.

[ChrisP]

Hi ,

It grieves me to say I agree with L_L here. I've gone through this before with my Grandfather after the death of his wife. They'd been married over 50 years, and once she was gone, he really couldn't find a reason anymore. 9 months later he was dead.

A close friend of mine who just hit 90 is also in the same boat. He's so frail and requires so much medical attention that he can't see the point. He has no family in this country (he is a coloured South African who emigrated in the early 70s) and has to be cared for by the members of my families church. They enjoy this task as this man has been a valued member of their congregation for well in excess of 20 years, and his wise counsel has assisted in many many situations.

He is at the stage where he has just had enough of life. He recognises the only thing keeping him alive now is the attention of doctors and the daily care of his bretheren. He eats 2 simple small meals a day, and this is a dead give away he is preparing himself. Many older people do not eat much, but once the lustre is gone from their eyes and a disinterest in eating manifests, it's best to start to let go.

I'm sorry Paul.

[YmirGF]

Actually I am getting used to the idea now Chrispy. My eldest sister is considering buying them a notebook so we can at least email them. A notebook will fit in to mom's sense of decore. If they are agreeable, then this will happen fairly fast.

My dad is smart, well was smart, so he might just pick up on it if he had one in his hands.

Based on what many people have said, I am planning on writing two short letters to my dad.
One letter will be extolling the virtures of never surrender. The other letter will be extolling Death with Dignity. I don't plan to send them, but after I have written them, I will think about it a few days and then decide what to do.

I do think most of you are correct and that it is more me getting used to the idea, than him.
I am very happy to report that we "buried our hatchets" a couple of years BEFORE his bout with cancer, so I have a clear conscience and no regrets. Pity it couldn't be for longer.

[ChrisP]

I makes me glad to hear that YmirGF

[Jayhawker Soule]

Originally Posted by ChrisP

I've gone through this before with my Grandfather after the death of his wife. ... once she was gone, he really couldn't find a reason anymore.

The point is to never stop encouraging him to search.

If a loved one chooses to die in dignity - good for him.
But if he condescends to die in futility - shame on us.

[YmirGF]

Originally Posted by Jayhawker Soule

The point is to never stop encouraging him to search.

If a loved one chooses to die in dignity - good for him.
But if he condescends to die in futility - shame on us.

As indicated Jayhawker, I am very much of two minds on the whole ordeal.
Hence the two letters approach. Time is of the essence, so I best start on them.

[Jayhawker Soule]

Originally Posted by YmirGF

As indicated Jayhawker, I am very much of two minds on the whole ordeal. Hence the two letters approach.

YmirGF, this is not an heroic tale, and I strongly encourage you to write until you have nothing else to say - and then tear up the letters.

[YmirGF]

Originally Posted by Jayhawker Soule

YmirGF, this is not an heroic tale, and I strongly encourage you to write until you have nothing else to say - and then tear up the letters.

We are of one mind on that one Jayhawker. Thanks for the kick though.