Obsessed with my mistakes? (experience, God)

[Lemon]

I'm a normal teen who often makes mistakes, and usually becomes embarrassed when I do make these mistakes. However, I've noticed that I have a problem with letting go of these moments, and I constantly think about them, making myself even more embarrassed as time goes by.

For example, about 5 months ago I screwed up while interviewing someone for my school newspaper. They ended up critisizing me to my teacher, who in return yelled at me. All these months later I can't get over it, in my head I'm always thinking, "They're probably thinking about me as that idiotic girl,how could I have been so stupid" Which then triggers off my mind to remember all the other times (over the years) when I have screwed up.

I become so embarrassed just thinking of these things, and I know it lowers my self-esteem. I feel like it's a way for my mind to torture me, and once I think about one moment I can't stop thinking about it for hours. I even wrote this tonight because an hour ago I remembered the moment I wrote about above. I just wish I could be like any other person and learn from my mistakes, instead of punishing myself for them. I have no idea if this is something that can be solved by therapy, or if I'm just being ridiculous, or if anyone else in the world even does this. I just wish it was something I could stop myself from doing.

[opensoul7]

God gave us free will to learn from our mistakes, and we all make them (often). Anyone who tells you otherwise is in denial and they are the one that needs therapy.Just because you get older does not mean you stop making them either.Life is a constant learning process from birth to death. Negativity is always around you , so focus on love .Don't feel down about making mistakes because that is what your are supposed to do .The fact that you look back on them is not bad either because you need to remember the mistakes in order to not repeat them.repeating your mistakes is the true tragedy (and we all do that as well).Just remember when looking at your mistakes to "know thyself" and be honest with yourself about the duality of your inherent nature (the positive and the negative). We have all been the A--hole and the saint at some point and time ! It is always easier to destroy or to taer down than it is to build up or create. Have you ever worked for a long time on someting , a project or hobby and a friend or sibling comes along and kicks it or breaks it ? What took you hours or days , took only seconds to demolish. That is the essence of the two forces in everything. Rember to stay positive , and focus on God (love) .There is nothing to be embarrassed about . When looking at your life and your mistakes , try to step outside of your lif e and look at it from above.Stay positive , and be honest with yourself. And if you get no answers ask God , but make sure you take the time to listen.

[Sunstone]

It's my understanding, Lemon, that therapy can help with this sort of problem.

[gnomon]

Originally Posted by Lemon

I'm a normal teen who often makes mistakes, and usually becomes embarrassed when I do make these mistakes. However, I've noticed that I have a problem with letting go of these moments, and I constantly think about them, making myself even more embarrassed as time goes by.

For example, about 5 months ago I screwed up while interviewing someone for my school newspaper. They ended up critisizing me to my teacher, who in return yelled at me. All these months later I can't get over it, in my head I'm always thinking, "They're probably thinking about me as that idiotic girl,how could I have been so stupid" Which then triggers off my mind to remember all the other times (over the years) when I have screwed up.

I become so embarrassed just thinking of these things, and I know it lowers my self-esteem. I feel like it's a way for my mind to torture me, and once I think about one moment I can't stop thinking about it for hours. I even wrote this tonight because an hour ago I remembered the moment I wrote about above. I just wish I could be like any other person and learn from my mistakes, instead of punishing myself for them. I have no idea if this is something that can be solved by therapy, or if I'm just being ridiculous, or if anyone else in the world even does this. I just wish it was something I could stop myself from doing.

People will always criticize you. It's human nature. Sometimes they might actually have a good reason to do so.

When I was 17 I sold cameras and other electronics at KMart. I did not know the first thing about cameras. A customer told me I was "dumb as s***". I told her she was right. A manager even told me I was worthless. I hated that job.

One year after I quit that job I found myself working for another KMart (AAAAGGGH!). Had to pay tuition. They put me in the electronics deparment. Selling cameras. I learned every asinine little detail about film, cameras, vacuum cleaners and so on just to avoid having another customer call me dumb as s*** because of my ignorance on material I never wanted to work with in the first place.

Silly example. I can say honestly that I admire people more who can show some regret over a past mistake because that is a person who cares and exhibits the capability to learn. I know people who will inadvertently screw somebody over and not give it a second thought. They are paragons of idiocy.

The same goes for people who have no regrets. Addicts have mentioned killings and rapes committed during their using days and within the span of an hour state they have no regrets. Sorry excuses of humanity.

I know I'm not perfect. I'm 32 and paying for mistakes that started almost ten years ago. Don't hide from them. Don't mask them. Accept the facts for what they were, learn from it and move on.

Friends you can talk to your feelings about and trust will help you just as much or more than professional therapy. Asking your teacher to help you see what you can do to avoid the past mistake and do better on another interview is even better. Then ask for the oppurtunity to conduct another interview. Don't let insecurities stop you from continuing what you wish to do.

[Shadow Wolf]

One year after I quit that job I found myself working for another KMart (AAAAGGGH!). Had to pay tuition. They put me in the electronics deparment. Selling cameras. I learned every asinine little detail about film, cameras, vacuum cleaners and so on just to avoid having another customer call me dumb as s*** because of my ignorance on material I never wanted to work with in the first place.

I spent alot of time learning everything I could about the Hoosier Lottery so I can answer customer questions about it. I even studied the locations and colors of more than 50 different types of cigarrtes. About 20 different chewing tabaccos, just so I can quickly find them so the customers don't think I'm an idiot.

I don't think its uncommon for people to dwell on mistakes. Once you're out of that school, and have little contact with anyone from it, you'll probably forget about it. I thought I would never live down some of the stuff I did, but I can't remember any of thme now.

[michel]

Originally Posted by Lemon

I'm a normal teen who often makes mistakes, and usually becomes embarrassed when I do make these mistakes. However, I've noticed that I have a problem with letting go of these moments, and I constantly think about them, making myself even more embarrassed as time goes by.

For example, about 5 months ago I screwed up while interviewing someone for my school newspaper. They ended up critisizing me to my teacher, who in return yelled at me. All these months later I can't get over it, in my head I'm always thinking, "They're probably thinking about me as that idiotic girl,how could I have been so stupid" Which then triggers off my mind to remember all the other times (over the years) when I have screwed up.

I become so embarrassed just thinking of these things, and I know it lowers my self-esteem. I feel like it's a way for my mind to torture me, and once I think about one moment I can't stop thinking about it for hours. I even wrote this tonight because an hour ago I remembered the moment I wrote about above. I just wish I could be like any other person and learn from my mistakes, instead of punishing myself for them. I have no idea if this is something that can be solved by therapy, or if I'm just being ridiculous, or if anyone else in the world even does this. I just wish it was something I could stop myself from doing.

There are many people like you (if that makes you feel better); my wife, for a start.

I used to be like that; somehow or other, (at some stage) I changed; mistakes from the past have a use - to make sure they are not repeated.

Having said that, I did some bad things when I was young that I never got around to asking those affected for foregiveness. I still wory about those, because (for example my parents) are now dead; how I wish I had got those bad deeds off my chest..........

You are not being ridiculous; what you have is a form of compulsive disorder (basically anything that takes up a lot of your attention to the extent of messing up your life); if you go to your doctor, he might even suggest that you take prozac, or something similar. That can work, but it might be a good idea to sit down and think hard about when this started - try it, and see if it coincides with your feeling dreadful embarassment when you were 'shown up' when very young - that is the most likely cause.

I know where mine came from - a dinner party when I was 14 years old. I was with my parents, and a couple (Their friends) when the lady cracked a joke. Of course I didn't understand it (it was a semi-dirty joke), but as everyone was laughing, I did too.

Of course, you've guesed it, the lady stopped, and asked me if I liked the joke; I said "yes"... then she said "Why ? Explain it to me "................from that day on, I started blushing immediately whenever someone told a dirty joke.

I am O.K now, but it took a long time for that reaction to disappear.

[angellous_evangellous]

Originally Posted by Lemon

I'm a normal teen who often makes mistakes, and usually becomes embarrassed when I do make these mistakes. However, I've noticed that I have a problem with letting go of these moments, and I constantly think about them, making myself even more embarrassed as time goes by.

For example, about 5 months ago I screwed up while interviewing someone for my school newspaper. They ended up critisizing me to my teacher, who in return yelled at me. All these months later I can't get over it, in my head I'm always thinking, "They're probably thinking about me as that idiotic girl,how could I have been so stupid" Which then triggers off my mind to remember all the other times (over the years) when I have screwed up.

I become so embarrassed just thinking of these things, and I know it lowers my self-esteem. I feel like it's a way for my mind to torture me, and once I think about one moment I can't stop thinking about it for hours. I even wrote this tonight because an hour ago I remembered the moment I wrote about above. I just wish I could be like any other person and learn from my mistakes, instead of punishing myself for them. I have no idea if this is something that can be solved by therapy, or if I'm just being ridiculous, or if anyone else in the world even does this. I just wish it was something I could stop myself from doing.

Gosh, in life most people make more mistakes than they have successes. Try to make things right if you can when you make mistakes, but don't dwell on them. Learn from them, and learn from the mistakes of others.

You need therapy if you have excessive guilt that keeps you from doing the things that you enjoy.

[Eynah]

Originally Posted by Lemon

I'm a normal teen who often makes mistakes, and usually becomes embarrassed when I do make these mistakes. However, I've noticed that I have a problem with letting go of these moments, and I constantly think about them, making myself even more embarrassed as time goes by.

For example, about 5 months ago I screwed up while interviewing someone for my school newspaper. They ended up critisizing me to my teacher, who in return yelled at me. All these months later I can't get over it, in my head I'm always thinking, "They're probably thinking about me as that idiotic girl,how could I have been so stupid" Which then triggers off my mind to remember all the other times (over the years) when I have screwed up.

I become so embarrassed just thinking of these things, and I know it lowers my self-esteem. I feel like it's a way for my mind to torture me, and once I think about one moment I can't stop thinking about it for hours. I even wrote this tonight because an hour ago I remembered the moment I wrote about above. I just wish I could be like any other person and learn from my mistakes, instead of punishing myself for them. I have no idea if this is something that can be solved by therapy, or if I'm just being ridiculous, or if anyone else in the world even does this. I just wish it was something I could stop myself from doing.

I think this is something that you might want to consider therapy for. I have, and still do, had this problem. It's lead to more self-destructive means that have made it so I have family worry about it more than they should ever have had to. I've even almost been hospitalized because of them.

Other than therapy, you could write about it or find someone that you feel comfortable talking to about it, trying to find why you feel this way. If this has already led to more self-destructive and physically harmful behavior (or even thoughts of it), you might want to hurry into a therapist.

If you do ever want to talk to someone, feel free to contact me if you wish and I'll do my best to help from my own experience. (I hope that is okay to suggest.)

[Ori]

Try not to worry too much Lemon, I often do the same thing and stress myself out needlessly.

[zron]

There isn't a person who ever lived that hasn't made mistakes. You have the freedom to choose your thoughts. When you start to think about the mistake you made tell yourself something like " ok so I messed that up so now I will get on with the rest of my life." Instead of obsessing over your mistakes obsess over the things that you do successfully. There are many forms of therapy, some cost time and money and others just time. I suggest you find one that only costs time. Find something that you truely enjoy and do it. If you are puting your thoughts to this other activity you can not think about other things. What I mean by that is that we can't think two thoughts a once.