A long and complicated scenario! (ritual, salvation, beliefs, choice)

[ionize]

Prelude: About Me

I am a 28 year old man. I was raised a catholic in ireland and in my earlier years I was a devout and strong believer in God. In my teens I realised the hypocrisy of so much of what is is espoused by modern religions and it lost its hold on me. I moved away from religion after years of seeking a belief structure that could fulfil me without all the ties that bring down or sully the name of so many religions. And I found none I am sorry to say. And so I became an Athiest. Even this label now for me has too much of a religious connotation and I prefer to say I am me! My beliefs my own, not to be pushed on any other, and nor do I seek justification from anybody but myself.

Circumstances: Religious Partner

I started dating a Lady I have been in love with for years and both of us were fully aware of the others beliefs and up until now it has never been a problem. I was aware of her "christian" background and upbringing and it has never bothered me in the slightest. Yet recent events have brought to light our differences in belief. She has been a firm believer in god but not a huge practitioner until the last 3 weeks. In that time she has gone from somebody who wanted to spend their life with me to a lady who now has refound God in the strongest way possible. This by the way I wholly commend her for and was overjoyed to see her so happy once again in the god she loved and believed in. I will admit that I was even instrumental in her return to church and her place of worship as I saw that she was missing her connection with god.
Then after a particular night I recieved a message from her regarding an epiphany she had and this epiphany has made her so happy. God has once again "filled her heart" and spoken to her.

Let me just add here, that as far as I am concerned, the lady in question could worship and brick for all I care, belief is not an issue for me. As I will accept her as she is, 100%!

But this message of which I spoke revealed her revelation and it involved me. To quote....

"I want to share it with you but I know you don't want it
he loves you though
he told me last night you can be saved by your own choice and that I could be a deciding factor in that "

"I know we've talked about it before but I am praying for you and your salvation regardless."

"before I would have never tried to make you be anything other than what you are, but I have changed in my heart, and my heart for you is to set you free as well."

This is just a sample of what was said. I am so happy that she has found her belief and strength again. But being the person I am, I do not need or want to be saved. I get the same joy from life that any person of a religious denomination get from their god. I am completely happy in who I am.

Actions:

We have discussed the whole thing in length about our differences and like her I had a realisation. Devout belief in an belief structure does not allow for a "middle ground" meeting. I know she loves me without question and only wants or is acting for my best interests in her mind. After many arguments and attempted sensible conversations I realised that the only way I could even attempt to reach her on this was to experience her religion and church. So I went with an open heart and mind and even prayed to the god I once believed in.

The experience scared me so much I can not even describe the sense of dread I felt walking out of the church. The church itself is for Pentecostal Evangelist Christians. And apart from the basic ritualistic praying to god and finding happiness in his being I was shocked at what they were preaching.

They were pushing for money through the use of the scriptures, in a very round about way I will admit but it was still there. And the worst was yet to come.....

They spoke of militant evangelism....among many other things. Getting out and filling peoples lives with their god and what not. Even down to "market" numbers of people in their faith. And spreading the faith and turning people to god. I will not lie or bandy words it scared me witless.

I could write an entire treatise on the sermon and how it scared me and the things talked about. But will get to that later if asked....

The Problem:

No matter how understanding I am, and even having been to a sermon with my lady. I will still support her in her belief. But she is not sure if she can be with me due to my beliefs and that they may detract from hers.

I have no idea what to do, and would like comments or thoughts from all walks of life and religious belief please.

I am going to go to another sermon just to try and see if it is all the same, and if it is I will walk away and take what happens as it comes. I would just like to hear some opinions on the situation.

1. Can a devout believer, live and love a non believer?
2. Am I fighting a losing battle in looking for the acceptance that is expected of me?

Please please give me some insight into what I would consider as a scary insight into a religion that I was not fully aware of until recently.

Thanks a million in advance,
Ionize

[lunamoth]

It sounds like it will be a difficult relationship at this point. Treat each other gently and I hope the best for you. Welcome to the forum. :

[kai]

to be around a constant Evangelist is hard work my friend and only you know in your heart how much you can take or how much time she has in her heart for you, have patience time will tell and some of these Church's are very addictive can you tell us the organization it wouldn't be the UCKG would it

[ionize]

Thanks lunamoth :P

Appreciated!

[9-10ths_Penguin]

*** Mod Post ***

Duplicate OPs were posted in two separate areas of the forum. Both discussions have been merged into this one.

[ionize]

Thanks Kai, I know it won't be easy but I am willing to put in the effort...the question is how much am I expected to sacrifice before she is happy to be with me in the eyes of god?

[kai]

Originally Posted by ionize

Thanks Kai, I know it won't be easy but I am willing to put in the effort...the question is how much am I expected to sacrifice before she is happy to be with me in the eyes of god?

i don't know how much you are expected, but only you know how much effort you are willing.

i have a similar thing with a long term friend who joined the church i mentioned he has changed his whole personality ,everything and i mean everything comes back to God in a conversation , i am sorry to say i now avoid him since he tried to cast out demons on me by e-mail of all things

[ionize]

Wow now thats extreme, fortunately things have not deviated that far in my circumstances...but i can see it heading that way which is terrifying me

Thanks for your input though!

[9-10ths_Penguin]

Hmm.

I don't know you or your love interest, but sometimes, what comes quickly can go quickly. It might be worthwhile to try waiting things out for a while and see if her newfound religious epiphany just turns out to be a temporary phase.

Failing that, I don't know. It really depends on the people. I know in my case, I'm a rather ardent atheist, and my wife's a believing Catholic. Sometimes there's a bit of friction, but we make it work, I think.

[Mister Emu]

Getting out and filling peoples lives with their god and what not.

And spreading the faith and turning people to god

Do you believe these two things to be "bad"?

1. Can a devout believer, live and love a non believer?

Absolutely... the Bible even says that a non-believing spouse is "sanctified" by the beliving spouse in 1 Corinthians 7:14