Questions for Ex-Mormons (ritual, testimony, elder, choice, hell)

[Katzpur]

I really wasn't sure where to put this thread. I didn't want to put it on the LDS DIR forum, because I thought some of you might never see it there. I'm putting it under "General Religious Debates," although I really have no desire to debate anything with anyone. I'm just curious about a few things. I know of at least three members of RF who were at one time LDS but who no longer are. I would very much appreciate your responses to the following questions:

Were you raised LDS or did you convert from some other religion? How long were you a member of the Church? How old were you when you left? Did you request that your name be removed from the Church's records, or did you simply stop thinking of yourself as a Latter-day Saint at some point?

Why did you leave? Was it because of the doctrines, because of the people, because of the practices and cultural issues? Was the decision to leave an easy one or a difficult one? Where has your spiritual path taken you since you left Mormonism?

What is your opinion of the LDS Church today? Has it improved since you left or is it worse now than it was when you first severed ties with us? Do you or did you ever get into anti-Mormon literature as part of your leaving the Church? Is there anything at all you miss about being a Mormon? Do you still have Mormon friends or family members and how did your decision affect your relationships with them?

Thanks in advance for all your answers.

[painted wolf]

heya.... sorry it took me so long to find this.

Were you raised LDS or did you convert from some other religion?
I was raised LDS

How long were you a member of the Church?
Tecnically I still am I guess... I havent had my name taken off the list.
I kept going for my mother untill I was 20, though by then it was only when I went home to visit from college.

How old were you when you left?
I started to leave when I was 16 and I had to be re-baptized because they lost my reccords... now that I think back on it, I should probably shouldn't have let the others talk me into the re-baptism but hey.

Did you request that your name be removed from the Church's records, or did you simply stop thinking of yourself as a Latter-day Saint at some point?
funny you know I didn't know about "the list" untill someone who went to church once with my sister found out I was LDS and reminded me that I still tecnically was one. This was just a few months ago... I suppose I'll get around to it eventually.

Why did you leave? Was it because of the doctrines, because of the people, because of the practices and cultural issues?
I was always told if I ever had doubts to ask god and he would tell me the truth. I asked and I got the answer.
I never really felt right in Church, I had lots of faith in God but Church always felt... wrong. I felt closest to God away from it. Doctrines, practices the whole works just felt, itchy.
I thought going to the Temple would "fix" me. It didn't.
I went almost every year to the birthplace of Joseph Smith to pray thinking it would "fix" me.... that didn't work either.

Was the decision to leave an easy one or a difficult one?
Both, I knew I had to leave, but I didn't want to hurt my family.

Where has your spiritual path taken you since you left Mormonism?
I'm comfortable now with my relationship with God and the way I express it. I still have a long way to travel yet and I look forward to the jurney.

What is your opinion of the LDS Church today?
Pretty good. I know when people are talking junk about the Church and I have no serious problems with the LDS.

Has it improved since you left or is it worse now than it was when you first severed ties with us?
I'll admit it has its ups and downs, but by and large my opinion hasn't changed much since I was in the Church.

Do you or did you ever get into anti-Mormon literature as part of your leaving the Church?
Nope, I don't approve of Mormon bashing... but I will debate how my views differ from the Church.

Is there anything at all you miss about being a Mormon?
Not really. Being there was like being in an itchy sweater, I'm relieved now that I'm not wearing it anymore.

Do you still have Mormon friends or family members and how did your decision affect your relationships with them?
Sure do, Most of my family is active Mormon. My sister keeps wanting to save me, so that can strain our relationship from time to time. I just have to remember that she is convinced that she trying to help me.
My mom and I just don't talk about it, we see each other so little that it isn't worth ruining the time we do get together over it. I know she worries though, so I try to let her know I'm ok, I still believe in god, I just chose to follow the path he showed to me.

hope this helps, let me know if you have any other questions.

wa:do

[Katzpur]

Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts. I knew you were once LDS but I had completely forgotten, so you weren't one of the three individuals I was thinking of. I think the "itchy sweater" analogy is a good one. While it's more like a cashmere one to me, I can appreciate how different people feel differently. I think that there are perhaps different paths for different people. My sister (there are just two of us) also left the church at about 18 years of age. We don't talk religion because I think that both of us value our relationship and know that it would be easy to hurt one another's feelings if we really got into a serious discuss on the subject. The difference between you and her is that she now considers herself to be agnostic. That's kind of hard for me to accept. I would prefer that she have some kind of faith in God, and that she be teaching her two kids about God. It's her choice, though, and I respect it.

[painted wolf]

your welcome.
I don't generally go out of my way to mention my ex-mormanism, it was to me anyway an amicable split. It just didn't work for me so I've no hard feelings and no reason to make a big thing of it. So I can understand your forgetting.

I hope others will take the time to answer your questions as well.

wa:do

[Rolling_Stone]

Originally Posted by Katzpur

Were you raised LDS or did you convert from some other religion? How long were you a member of the Church? How old were you when you left? Did you request that your name be removed from the Church's records, or did you simply stop thinking of yourself as a Latter-day Saint at some point?

Like Painted Wolf, I'm sorry it took so long to find this. I've been a bit preoccupied with "Mere Belief" (This is a shameless plug. ) I was born into the church and always hated going. At 13 I decided all the powers of heaven and hell weren't going to make me go, but went back some years later only to leave for good shortly thereafter. I had to strongly insist that my name be struck from the records.

Why did you leave? Was it because of the doctrines, because of the people, because of the practices and cultural issues?

All of the above

Was the decision to leave an easy one or a difficult one?

It was the easiest decision of my life.

Where has your spiritual path taken you since you left Mormonism?

to an evolving from of panentheism (the term comes closest than anything else I'm aware of.)

What is your opinion of the LDS Church today?

Indifferent.

Has it improved since you left or is it worse now than it was when you first severed ties with us?

Improved. I left quite embittered.

Do you or did you ever get into anti-Mormon literature as part of your leaving the Church?

I made it a point to avoid that kind of stuff.

Is there anything at all you miss about being a Mormon?

Nope. Glad I'm outta there!

Do you still have Mormon friends or family members and how did your decision affect your relationships with them?

Lots of family, no discernable effect.

Thanks in advance for all your answers.

Any more questions? I'll be happy to answer.

[Rolling_Stone]

Katz, I think you deserve more in-depth answers than the ones I just gave.

Aside from the fact that I was the kid everyone picked on, even as a child I was bothered by the fast and testimony meetings where people stood up and said, "I know this is the true church." It bothered me because I knew even then that if other people didn't believe the same thing about their church they wouldn't be going there. For me, church seemed more like a day for a community gathering than day put aside for worship, and since I was never a social-type (not anti-social, just unsocial, if you know what I mean) it didn't mean anything to me. Going out to gather fast-offerings on the Saturday before Fast Sunday was a royal pain in the you-know-where. Tuesdays were also an imposition (I forget what the meetings were called...mutual meetings? or something like that?). I would have rather just read a book.

At first, not going to church was just rebellion. Oddly, though, I used much of my new free time to actually read the B of M and other books to get a handle on the actual teachings rather than settling for what I was told. The more I learned the more questions I had so that soon passed. A few years later I joined the Air Force and found myself thinking of myself as a Mormon again. I don't know why...probably because I just wanted to have something to identify with. When I got out of the AF I was married to a Catholic, a shy Filipino. She joined the church, but like me, enjoys the company of people but not feeling obligated to them.

Picture this. New to the country, shy, poor English skills (she speaks 7 Filipino dialects plus English), new to the church, and the Relief Society wants her to talk to the group about life in the Philippines after criticizing the way she dressed: nice, dressy pants rather than a dress (remember, this was a long time ago). Considerate, weren't they? This was just about the time I was asked about being interviewed to become an elder. Then that's when it struck me: what the HELL (excuse the language) was I doing? All my doubts and all my questions came rushing to the surface and I never went back. It was like God himself slapping me in the back of the head (and I honestly suspect it was). That was when I learned eternal growth begins here and now. And with growth comes change.

When I was a child, mountains were mountains, rivers were rivers and trees were trees. When I was an adolescent, the mountains were no longer mountains, the rivers no longer rivers and the trees no longer trees. When I became an adult, the mountains were again mountains, the rivers again rives and the trees again trees.

Consciousness is the same thing whether it is a child, adolescent or adult, and it is the same whether it is looking at mountains, rivers, or trees. A child sees mountains, rivers and trees for what they are; an adolescent believes the things he knows pertaining to mountains, rivers and trees are themselves mountains, rivers and trees; an adult sees mountains, rivers and trees by letting go of what was learned about them during adolescence. As adults, we see mountains, rivers and trees for what they are, but now with understanding. The wonder of our childhood existence is restored without the fears and superstitions. The mountains, rivers and trees are that what they are within ourselves.

I am not a Catholic, but I have been to my wife's church. I felt a sense of the sacred there like I never felt in Mormon church. If I had to go to a church for worship, I would go there.

I left the church a bitter person, but now I find myself defending Mormons. I think you noticed that on one occasion.

[Katzpur]

Thank you so much, Stone. I appreciate the lenghty response, seriously. I want to get back to you but must leave for work now.