Answer to suffering?

[Victor]

For most of life I would say I have suffered. I never failed to ask “why?” No answer I ever received seemed to fill that void for me. Most of my suffering was because of my step dad who was very abusive. Many times people would catch me crying because I had just gotten a good beating. They would just tell me “it’s going to be ok” or they would give me some answer to console me. It did nothing. I was too hurt and too angry. It wasn’t until I was 13 when my mom once told me “it’s going to be ok” (she had never said this previously and left my step dad a year later) that I started to find peace.

So is an answer really what I was looking for?

Or was I looking for something else?



~Victor

[michel]

Originally Posted by Victor

For most of life I would say I have suffered. I never failed to ask “why?” No answer I ever received seemed to fill that void for me. Most of my suffering was because of my step dad who was very abusive. Many times people would catch me crying because I had just gotten a good beating. They would just tell me “it’s going to be ok” or they would give me some answer to console me. It did nothing. I was too hurt and too angry. It wasn’t until I was 13 when my mom once told me “it’s going to be ok” (she had never said this previously and left my step dad a year later) that I started to find peace.

So is an answer really what I was looking for?

Or was I looking for something else?



~Victor

Sorry Victor, there seems to be a question in there I don't understand..........

[Victor]

I apologize if I didn't make it clear. There is many people who seek an answer to suffering when in fact they may be looking for comfort or reassurance. What to you think?

That better?

[glasgowchick]

Originally Posted by Victor

For most of life I would say I have suffered. I never failed to ask “why?” No answer I ever received seemed to fill that void for me. Most of my suffering was because of my step dad who was very abusive. Many times people would catch me crying because I had just gotten a good beating. They would just tell me “it’s going to be ok” or they would give me some answer to console me. It did nothing. I was too hurt and too angry. It wasn’t until I was 13 when my mom once told me “it’s going to be ok” (she had never said this previously and left my step dad a year later) that I started to find peace.

So is an answer really what I was looking for?

Or was I looking for something else?



~Victor

Hi Victor, I think you just needed your mummy at that time to tell you everything was going to be ok..

[Lintu]

I think no one can really explain why suffering exists...maybe there are a few apologetic hypotheses, but no one has of yet actually given a good, valid, acceptable explanation. (see also: the book of Job). When I am down, whether it's just a little blue or in the depths of desperation, I've found that empathy is one of the best medicines. To know that you are not alone in your suffering is important, as it helps you to see that the suffering is likely not targeted at you as a result of something you have done. While we may never figure out why there is sometimes such unfair suffering, at least we can see that it's a pain we all deal with at some point.

[michel]

Originally Posted by glasgowchick

Hi Victor, I think you just needed your mummy at that time to tell you everything was going to be ok..

hehehe I think I still need mine, for the same reason!

I am not sure we don't all need that. at some time; I remember being told by someone who knew a thing or two that we should talk to ourselves when feeling 'rough' - as if we were talking to our kids.

Try it sometime - when you are feeling low, and need comfort; image your mother (or father) and imagine what they would be saying to you to comfort you.....

It works!

[Victor]

Originally Posted by lintu

but no one has of yet actually given a good, valid, acceptable explanation.

I'm not sure we will ever get and "acceptable" explanation. In the midst of darkness "accepting" is not easy.

~Victor

[dan]

Men and women respond differently to mental suffering, but both can benefit from different things. In summary, women, for the most part, jsut want someone to feel bad with them for a while. They're not looking to be fixed, whereas men tend to be more analytical and goal oriented in problem-solving. Guys want stuff to work right, so they try to fix stuff. Men and women both seek both of these forms of comfort, but one usually overrides the other. You seem confused as to exactly what you were seeking. It seems the emotional part of you wanted some empathy and care but the analytical part of you was left unfulfilled concerning the need for the pain you went through.

To find an answer to your question about the need for suffering we have to start way back at the garden of Eden. Adam and Eve were perfectly happy living in a world where everything went right. Here's a question - do you think they appreciated it?

A scripture answers this for me. "It must needs be that there is an opposition in all things. If not so, righteousness could not be brought to pass, neither wickedness, neither holiness nor misery, neither good nor bad.Wherefore all things must be a compound in one." Suffering happens for three reasons that I can name off of the top of my head. First, and most evident from the scriptures (but not the reason for your suffering) is sin. Sin brings pain.

Second, suffering hellps us to appreciate the good things more, adding joy to our life. We can only experience joy to the contrasting degree to which we have experienced sorrow.

Third, suffering helps us to grow. You learned things from your experience. What you saw and felt will make you a better father and help you to understand others' suffering. It will help you to empathize with others going through similar circumstances.

Why does God let us go through all this, then? It's all part of the plan. He gave us free will so we could learn the difference between right and wrong ourselves. Some people choose wrong will their free will. They sometimes suffer and then realize that choosing right is better. Some of us see others choosing wrong and it helps us to utilize wisely our free agency in choosing right.

Another scripture should wrap up the Gospel application of suffering: "thou knowest the greatness of God; and He shall consecrate thine afflictions for thy gain."

Christ had to suffer all so He could understand us and take that suffering from us. If we let Him He fix us, but He is also there to feel bad with us.

[michel]

Originally Posted by dan

Men and women respond differently to mental suffering, but both can benefit from different things. In summary, women, for the most part, jsut want someone to feel bad with them for a while. They're not looking to be fixed, whereas men tend to be more analytical and goal oriented in problem-solving. Guys want stuff to work right, so they try to fix stuff. Men and women both seek both of these forms of comfort, but one usually overrides the other. You seem confused as to exactly what you were seeking. It seems the emotional part of you wanted some empathy and care but the analytical part of you was left unfulfilled concerning the need for the pain you went through.

To find an answer to your question about the need for suffering we have to start way back at the garden of Eden. Adam and Eve were perfectly happy living in a world where everything went right. Here's a question - do you think they appreciated it?

A scripture answers this for me. "It must needs be that there is an opposition in all things. If not so, righteousness could not be brought to pass, neither wickedness, neither holiness nor misery, neither good nor bad.Wherefore all things must be a compound in one." Suffering happens for three reasons that I can name off of the top of my head. First, and most evident from the scriptures (but not the reason for your suffering) is sin. Sin brings pain.

Second, suffering hellps us to appreciate the good things more, adding joy to our life. We can only experience joy to the contrasting degree to which we have experienced sorrow.

Third, suffering helps us to grow. You learned things from your experience. What you saw and felt will make you a better father and help you to understand others' suffering. It will help you to empathize with others going through similar circumstances.

Why does God let us go through all this, then? It's all part of the plan. He gave us free will so we could learn the difference between right and wrong ourselves. Some people choose wrong will their free will. They sometimes suffer and then realize that choosing right is better. Some of us see others choosing wrong and it helps us to utilize wisely our free agency in choosing right.

Another scripture should wrap up the Gospel application of suffering: "thou knowest the greatness of God; and He shall consecrate thine afflictions for thy gain."

Christ had to suffer all so He could understand us and take that suffering from us. If we let Him He fix us, but He is also there to feel bad with us.

very good post; especially from the point of view of 'lessons learned' through suffering - I couldn't agree more.

It seems sad that we have to suffer to learn, but I guess that is the 'foundation stone' of no pain no gain.