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  #1  
Old 01-24-2011, 09:32 AM
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Default Why is it a sin to have sex before marriage?

This is generally speaking of course... but why do some people think that you need to be married before you have sex?

In my opinion, marriage is just a paper... you can be commited to another person without it. I had sex before marriage and I really don't see how it is a problem... I was fully commited to my Husband when the act occured and I thought nothing bad of it. Why is it a sin to some people?

(I am sure this topic has been done before but I am looking for answers from all types of Religions... not just Christianity)
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Old 01-24-2011, 09:43 AM
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Well for one thing, some people believe, Bibliclly, that sex actually equates to marriage, not popular but a belief.
I personally believe contractually agreeing to commit to someone under all but the most overwhelming circumstances is the best place for something as extremely personal, physically as well as emotionally, as sex is. It is the ultimate way of letting another person into your life literally and figuratively. We don't allow a physician into our bodies without some kind of documentation, so it should be with another person,IMHO
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Old 01-24-2011, 10:20 AM
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Originally Posted by Dezzie View Post
This is generally speaking of course... but why do some people think that you need to be married before you have sex?

In my opinion, marriage is just a paper... you can be commited to another person without it. I had sex before marriage and I really don't see how it is a problem... I was fully commited to my Husband when the act occured and I thought nothing bad of it. Why is it a sin to some people?

(I am sure this topic has been done before but I am looking for answers from all types of Religions... not just Christianity)

I agree with you. I do hate the word 'sin' though, i cant use it in conversation and talk as it holds too much religious weight. I much prefer talk in terms of core ethics and morality, good and bad.

For me the only morally grey areas of sex is when its used in an irresponsible way. It is as physically intimate as you can generally get with someone, and you cannot know or predict how another person understands the act. It isnt something to be presumed. As a result one person behaving as if its a casual, fairly meaningless but enjoyable act could hurt another person who sees differently.

The only way this correlates with marriage is, assuming you are married, you have that commitment in place already, and so sex can happen without such risk of hurting someone so easily as before marrage.

Of course the lesson here is not really about sex itself so much, but in how to deal with people in a respectful way, understanding that not all of what makes them individual and unique is on show or readily available, and one shouldnt act as if it is.

Life is a game of inperfect information for sure.
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Old 01-25-2011, 02:34 AM
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Originally Posted by Dezzie View Post
This is generally speaking of course... but why do some people think that you need to be married before you have sex?

In my opinion, marriage is just a paper... you can be commited to another person without it. I had sex before marriage and I really don't see how it is a problem... I was fully commited to my Husband when the act occured and I thought nothing bad of it. Why is it a sin to some people?

(I am sure this topic has been done before but I am looking for answers from all types of Religions... not just Christianity)
The traditional explanation in Judaism has usually been that marriage purifies what is otherwise mere lust. But of course, that was only custom and tradition, it was never Jewish Law. Technically, Jewish Law has never prohibited sex before marriage. As long as the woman was of age and consenting, and as long as she did not claim virginity in her marriage contract after that, it was not against Jewish Law-- not actually a sin.

Today, most rabbis say that while it is not prohibited before marriage, it is ideally expressed in marriage, because committed, monogamous relationships allow us to use sex as a tool to come to know our partner more deeply and truly, and since all human beings are created in the image of God (spiritually, not physically, of course), this kind of deepening intimacy allows us to better experience the Divine spark in the other.
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Old 01-25-2011, 03:13 AM
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Originally Posted by Dezzie View Post
In my opinion, marriage is just a paper... you can be commited to another person without it. I had sex before marriage and I really don't see how it is a problem... I was fully commited to my Husband when the act occured and I thought nothing bad of it. Why is it a sin to some people?
[
You are right, marriage is just a paper. As far as I understand the prohibition of adultery is because the negative side impacts of it on the society. Sex before marriage actually creates a sense of social chaos and risk the bonds of families relationship. The meaning of family would go into collapse. People will not have a serious stimulation to invoke them to look for steady relationships as they will be free to satisfy their sexual needs without a commitment to this act. It is like this, sex before marriage doesn't require responsibility and equally sex within marriage demands responsibility.
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Old 01-25-2011, 03:54 AM
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Originally Posted by Dezzie View Post
This is generally speaking of course... but why do some people think that you need to be married before you have sex?

In my opinion, marriage is just a paper... you can be commited to another person without it. I had sex before marriage and I really don't see how it is a problem... I was fully commited to my Husband when the act occured and I thought nothing bad of it. Why is it a sin to some people?

(I am sure this topic has been done before but I am looking for answers from all types of Religions... not just Christianity)
Gods standard was for sex to only be carried out between married couples because sex is the means to bring forth children in the world. It is a protection for the unborn, as it ensured the child would have both mother and father to care for it.
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Old 01-25-2011, 04:07 AM
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I don't think it is a sin, not that I really believe in sin.

I think the idea developed because people wanted a stable home and support for raising children. There are obviously some people out there who are struggling to get by because the male (who was and in many cases still is the "breadwinner") has run off, and there are those who bring a different partner home frequently, that the child develops a bond with, and then is gone, for example. BUT, there are many many people who have children out of wedlock and get married to that person (I'm one) or do not marry them but still have a loving, stable relationship. - That is marriage to me, whether MM, MF, or FF.

To me, sex before marriage is not a "sin" if there was such a concept for me. Hell, I don't even think sex with other people whilst in marriage would be a sin provided that everyone (both spouses and the other person/people) involved consented voluntarily (not badgered into it - I know a bus driver who did this.. bad ending ).

My $0.02.
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Old 01-25-2011, 08:34 AM
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Gods standard was for sex to only be carried out between married couples because sex is the means to bring forth children in the world. It is a protection for the unborn, as it ensured the child would have both mother and father to care for it.
but why do you need marriage for that commitment? Marriage is merely a ceremony and provides the couple with certain benefits. I agree that sex is technically the act needed to create children, but why do you need a piece of paper to prove your commitment to one another? You can be commited without it... I think some people have taken it the wrong way (in the Bible for example). I don't think anyone NEEDS to be married to have children. Marriage doesn't really prove anything that not being married wouldn't.
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Old 01-25-2011, 08:37 AM
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I don't think it is a sin, not that I really believe in sin.

I think the idea developed because people wanted a stable home and support for raising children. There are obviously some people out there who are struggling to get by because the male (who was and in many cases still is the "breadwinner") has run off...
But even if that couple with the children WERE (or not) married, the guy could still abandon his child. He could file for Divorce and leave. Either way there could still be a bad outcome.
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Old 01-25-2011, 08:41 AM
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But even if that couple with the children WERE (or not) married, the guy could still abandon his child. He could file for Divorce and leave. Either way there could still be a bad outcome.
Yeah, I know that.

Maybe that's why there's the idea of child support now?

Maybe that's why in times gone by, they tried to restrict divorce when possible? I dunno.
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