Lessons from RF / Appreciation of RFers

[lilithu]

This may have been done already. Oh well.

Name a significant lesson that someone else on RF has taught you. Something that has changed your perspective, caused you to grow, and for which you are grateful.


I will start:

Coming from the Unitarian Universalist tradition, we value tolerance as an ideal. In fact, we've claimed that our "trinity" is tolerance, reason, and respect.

But a while back I was in a debate (I don't remember now what it was about), when Jay asked me how I could "tolerate" the teaching/spreading of ideas that hurt other people.

I wrestled with that. On the one hand, I didn't want to be accused of intolerance of anyone, because as I said, tolerance is one of our highest values. Otoh, what was I accomplishing by being "tolerant" of hate? What was I saying to the victims of that hate? And who did my "tolerance" serve? I realized that my desire to placate actually served to perpetuate the status quo and oppression. And that the true ideal should not be tolerance for its own sake. After all, why should we be tolerant of evil? Rather tolerance should serve justice and equity, and where it doesn't do that, then it isn't the correct response.

I realized that I had made an idol of tolerance, when the true god is justice.

I still slip up every now and then (hard to overcome deep programming), but it's a lesson that I have never forgotten.

So thank you, Jay.

[.lava]

i think it was you who taught me a lesson. are you Chinese? have we ever talked about China and boycotts? if yes, then you my friend woke me up from a sleep i was not actually aware of. i did not know i was slightly becoming 'against China' person. i thank you too. it meant something very valuable to me. i would never wish to dislike a country as if there were no individuals living there. seriously. it is very important to me. i wanted to thank you for that and left a message to you and asked you if that person was you. but you did not answer. i thought i might disturb you if i asked again. still not sure


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[lilithu]

Originally Posted by .lava

i think it was you who taught me a lesson. are you Chinese? have we ever talked about China and boycotts? if yes, then you my friend woke me up from a sleep i was not actually aware of. i did not know i was slightly becoming 'against China' person. i thank you too. it meant something very valuable to me. i would never wish to dislike a country as if there were no individuals living there. seriously. it is very important to me. i wanted to thank you for that and left a message to you and asked you if that person was you. but you did not answer. i thought i might disturb you if i asked again. still not sure

Hi .lava. Namaste.

I've already had a wonderful day but your post made it all the better! Yes, I am the one/we had a conversation. I remember being upset with your first post and then very impressed by your response to mine. It always impresses me when people are willing to listen to voices that are critical because it's so rare, especially in these kinds forums. It showed me what a special kind of person you are.

I'm sorry that I did not respond to your message before. I was actually preparing to leave for China at the time and was busy with a lot of different things. I actually thought of you and our conversation while I was in China because in the city of Xian I got to see the Muslim quarter of town one evening. I didn't really do much - just walk around, enjoy some grilled lamb, and look at the outside of a masjid. I also met several members of other ethnic minorities in China during my trip - the Yi, Dai, Zhang, and Miao - and reflected on how they were being treated. I wish I could say that things were better.

[.lava]

so it is just two of us, too bad


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[Don Penguinoini]

Hema taught me to be more mature and nicer to people.

[mball1297]

One thing I've learned in particular is what homosexuals have to put up with, and how important the fight for marriage equality is. I have gone from being indifferent to the whole situation to being a supporter. When I heard the news that California had ended its ban of same-sex marriage, I cheered.

Other than that, I have learned a lot about life and people in general from here. I have learned to think in broader terms. I don't know everything, but I know just how much I don't know now.

[Quagmire]

That I don't know as much as I thought I did.

In the last forum I was a part of most of the biblical debates looked like this;

Bible thumper: "Jesus is God!"

Angry Athest: " No he isn't"!

BT: "Is too"!!!

AA: "IS NOT"!!!

etc. (and mind you; both the BTs and AAs made claim to all kinds of impressive and probably imaginary credentials).

The few of us who actually went to the trouble of trying to research anything came across looking pretty good, regardless of what sources we were using.

I got to the point where I could post pretty much anything I wanted to and no one would try to refute it. I could kill threads at my discretion with one post (oh the power!).

I tried that here and well....

Ok, so now I'm a small fish in a big pond, instead a big fish in a cesspool.

[ChristineES]

Mine is someone who is no longer here: MidnightBlue. Although I have known gays and was friends with them, they never spoke about all they have gone through: Being shunned by family and other people they love, being attacked both verbally and physically.
It is hard to know what others go through, particularly if they don't speak about it.
Thank you, Bill. I miss your wisdom.