Might Be a Good Time to Move to Canada (punishment, Earth)

[Druidus]

Only five countries have a higher standard of living than does Canada. These are the Norway, Switzerland, Luxembourg, Germany and Japan. Canada ranks higher than the United States in terms of life expectancy, and higher than Japan in terms of education. Consequently, the United Nations has ranked Canada as the highest on its "Human Development Index." More than 65% of Canadians own their own homes. An even higher percentage of Canadians own durable goods such as automobiles, refigerators, washing machines, televisions, telephones and radios. Telephone service is virtually universal in Canada. Sixteen million access lines bring service to 99% of Canadian homes. With one of the best telecommunications systems in the world, Canadians are increasingly hooking into the information highway. In 1995, close to 30% of households had home computers, and over 40 percent of those computers were equipped with modems for accessing the internet.

Canadians' life expectancy at birth is 75.4 years for males and 81.3 years for females. This ranks among the world's longest. By the year 2020, Canada is expected to have the second longest life expectancy at an average of approximately 83 years.

All Canadians have free access to health care, with the exception of dental services. Most people over 65 and social aid recipients receive the majority of their prescription drugs free of charge. According to the 1994 National Population Health Survey, 62% of the adult Canadian population rated their health as excellent or very good. Also in 1994, 77% of Canadian adults reported that they had consulted a physician at least once in the previous year. Fifty-five percent reported having visited a dentist, 35% an eye specialist, and 27% had seen other types of health specialists.

Canadian governments spent an estimated $48 billion on health care in 1993-94. This means a total of almost $1700 was spent on health services for each Canadian. This placed Canada as second in the world to the United States in terms of health care expenditures (but first, in "per capita"). Canada also has an extensive social security network including old age pension, family allowance, unemployment insurance and welfare.


Canada has the cheapest internet access on the earth

And, of course, the most important reason:

The question that has been asked for years has finally been answered. After all the theories and speculation, Matt Groening has finally revealed the truth. The question? 'Is Homer Simpson a Canadian?' Right about now, I know you're probably thinking 'what is with this guy? Why is he making this out to be some kind of big deal?'. Why am I making this out to seem like such a big deal? Because I can, that's why. Anyway, now it is time for the answer. But before I give you the answer, we must first look at the evidence that points to the fact whether Homer, the lovable, yet idiotic cartoon character is actually a Canadian.

• Homer eats food associated with Canada all the time. Such items would include donuts, maple syrup, a glass of maple syrup for breakfast (is he trying to kill himself?), beer and bacon. In fact, his two favourite edible items are beer and donuts.
• Homer is named after Matt Groening's dad who is in fact a Canadian, being born in Winnepeg and all.
• When people from Winnepeg heard that, they made a festival of sorts for him, making him an honourary citizen.

By now, and I mean right now, because everyone in the world now knows the truth, you're getting bored. But I don't care, I'm gonna keep writing. Now then, fans and Canadian just needed the confirmation...

• At the Montreal Comedy Festival, it was officialy made public... Matt Groening admitted it... Homer Simpson is a CANADIAN

The confirmation was made public. Now this article has lost all point and meaning. Which means you can stop reading it if you want to, because there's nothing else to read about. If you managed to read this article this far without being bored as hell, good for you. Now go do something meaningful with your life.

By: Arsh Dhadwal AKA Scarecrow


www.canadaka.com

[Druidus]

More Reasons:

The United Nations releases a series of annual reports called the Human Development Reports. Canada almost always makes the top 5, is almost always ranked two or three higher than the United States and was ranked #1 for seven years in a row in the 90's. If it were a sport, one would call that a Legacy.

Although many would argue that Canada's health care system is not free, tell that to Joe Lunchbox who gets laid off when the American corporate office decides to close his plant. While he's looking for work, he can rest assured knowing if his wife or kids get sick, the hospital bills are paid.
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Indeed, health care comes out of our taxes and, admittedly, it is a large portion. Nor is it perfect a system - it needs reform and more money. But I like knowing that my family and I, regardless of our economic situation, will always have our health. And, unlike most of our American counterparts, we care about our poor and our Joe Lunchboxes.

Leaving the United States doesn't mean giving up your favourite TV shows, movies, clothing, lifestyle and car. Canada has almost everything the States has, materially. We get your TV (and some radio) stations beamed into our homes and we see the same movies in our theatres. That's why we know more about you than you know about us - it's an advantage! We also have more than two parties to choose from in our elections.

In fact, Canada is pretty much the United States without the Bush Administration, capital punishment, the need for capital punishment, screwy vote-counting, and the liability/responsibility with having a nuclear arsenal. The U.S. is past its prime anyhow.

America prides itself in being the "leader of the Western World, leader of the free nations." The cornerstone of this being Democracy, something the Vikings of Iceland created in the world's first parliament in 930 A.D. Truely, the Constitution was a wonderful leap forward for human development, individual rights and this advanced form of goverment.

Despite this, the United States has been ranked 10th by World Audit in a list of democracies. Sure, Canada is #9 - but lookie why we're one above the States: corruption.

Oil, shady trading and rigged elections will lower that score.

In its effort to punish countries that "threaten world peace" (see: 1, 2, 3) the United States has earned the disrespect (and hatred in extreme cases) of many countries of the world. In the viscious and cowardly attacks of the World Trade Center in New York City, many thousands of people died because of this.

The government and media portray the United States as an innocent bystander subjected to the discriminate wrath of a terrorist organization. In fact, it is a result of the political (and, arguably, religious) decision to politically and militarily support one side of the Middle East Peace Process when objectivity is paramount. Just like being attacked by the Japanese on December 7th, 1941 while claiming neutrality and running munitions and supplies to Great Britain, there is a cause and effect.

Not myself, nor Canada is here to judge this decision to be right or wrong, it's just a decision that has consequences.

And Canada is just here. Many don't even know we're here - and that's ok with us. Those that do know, know Canada has done her part and don't hold it against her.

Perhaps we mean a more free press. You see, Reporters Without Borders ranked the United States 17th of 139 countries, ranking just one above "communist" Hong Kong. Canada came in at a respectable number 5, number 2 if you include the fact that the first five are a tie.

What does that say about the United States? the land of the free and home of the brave? When critizing other countries for propaganda and subversion, back it up with some credibility. And learn how to filter through the media bias.

As the world's second largest country, Canada weighs in with over 9,093,507 square kilometres of land (roughly 3,031,169 square miles) with a population just under 31 million. That's a population density of 3.1 per square kilometre, compared to 29.4 in the United States. It has the largest coastline of any country with access to the Atlantic, Pacific and Arctic Oceans.

How would you like your savings account to grow by 50% with no charges, no fees and no wait? With the current US-Canada exchange rate, the money you bring into Canada instantly increases by over 50%!

www.canadaka.com

[Majikthise]

Yippee.

[Sunstone]

All very well and good, but what about the polar bears that eat you?

[Majikthise]

Canadian bacon every day! I'm there!

[Druidus]

Yippee.

It's for such energetic and charismatic posts like these that I remain at RF.

All very well and good, but what about the polar bears that eat you?

Meh, there's a downside to everything.

[Jaiket]

Does Canada have warm parts? Warmer than Scotland parts most importantly?

[Unedited]

Reason not to move to Canada - My evil third grade teacher Mrs. Michaud!

Yeah, that's really all I could think of.

[Druidus]

Does Canada have warm parts? Warmer than Scotland parts most importantly?

How warm is Scotland? P.E.I. can reach 40C in the summer, and B.C. gets almost that high. Many parts of Canada ger warm in the summer, and stay relatively warm in the winter.

Reason not to move to Canada - My evil third grade teacher Mrs. Michaud

My fourth grade teach, Mrs. Mcdonald. EVIL!!!!!