Okay ladies, today is your lucky day!

[Wirey]

I, the one and only Wirey, have decided it's not unfaithful to my wife (whom I love dearly and consider my best friend ever) if I get me a make believe electronic girl friend. Now, you may be wondering, do I have a shot with this incredibly handsome, intelligent, and yet lovable guy? You do! Lucky you!

I have to lay down some ground rule. First, this is fake. No sending pictures, or getting jealous because Revoltingest and I are making out a little. Second, no bribes. I know I'm lovable, but you can't be sending me flowers and jewelery. My real marriage can't take that kind of pressure. And third, I get to tell all my friends that we totally did it, electronically. Don't worry about your reputation, though. I don't actually have any friends, mostly because everyone except me is a jerk!

Okay, if you're interested, let's have a 50-75 word essay on why you and I would be perfect. Please include at least one boob reference (calling other posters a boob is acceptable). A fake picture would also help. If anyone is crazy enough to actually do this, we'll get the guys to vote on a winner in a couple of days. If you're a dude and want in, what the hey, I'm totally into that when it's not real.

I don't autograph body parts!

[Wirey]

Really? I'll throw in an imaginary luxury car, the Wirey 5000. It has a wine cask mounted right in the dash, and the seats are made out of people who crossed you!