Conversation over!

[Wirey]

Wanna stop a boring conversation permanently? Try these:

The doctor says I'm as contagious as hell, but I'm not staying indoors.

It was the most I ever pooped. I literally had a chapped butt.

So she says, "Please, no," but when I fired I missed.

I hate strippers. They're all dark meat.

We dated for three weeks before I found out she was a mannequin. Then she dumped me.

Nothing impresses the ladies like a full length raincoat.

No names! Just call me.... Jesus!

I'd fix the brakes, but this way I get there faster.

You will all serve me in Paradise! I mean, where is seat 7B?

Yeah, he's my kid. I bought him from some junkie last year.

The secret is, you mix cat food with tuna, so it serves more guests.


Any others?

[ChristineES]

That garlic and onion dish was delicious!

I just can't figure out what this rash is.

Wait, didn't I see you in that porno movie?

My therapist says I am almost cured.

[dust1n]

Imagine you have ten girls lined up and you get to have sex with two of them.
You can either pick by pure physical looks or by dancing with them or by having a 5 minute conversation each or read a small bio provided by each.
Which method would you use for determining which two girls you should sleep with?

[Revoltingest]

1) Would you like to learn about the income tax advantages of whole life insurance over term?
2) I collect vintage photocopiers from the late 1990s....would you like to see some pix?
3) Nowadays, colostomy bags are attractive & attach more securely, so the smell isn't so bad, just look at this!
4) I've invented a new musical instrument which combines the accordian with bagpipes. I'm just learning to play the bagcordian.....I think I have some on my Ipod....
5) People say that thongs are uncomfortable, but check out this sweet velour baby...

[ChristineES]

Originally Posted by Revoltingest

1) Would you like to learn about the income tax advantages of whole life insurance over term?
2) I collect vintage photocopiers from the late 1990s....would you like to see some pix?
3) Nowadays, colostomy bags are attractive & attach more securely, so the smell isn't so bad, just look at this!
4) I've invented a new musical instrument which combines the accordian with bagpipes. I'm just learning to play the bagcordian.....I think I have some on my Ipod....
5) People say that thongs are uncomfortable, but check out this sweet velour baby...

[Wirey]

Originally Posted by Revoltingest

1) Would you like to learn about the income tax advantages of whole life insurance over term?
2) I collect vintage photocopiers from the late 1990s....would you like to see some pix?
3) Nowadays, colostomy bags are attractive & attach more securely, so the smell isn't so bad, just look at this!
4) I've invented a new musical instrument which combines the accordian with bagpipes. I'm just learning to play the bagcordian.....I think I have some on my Ipod....
5) People say that thongs are uncomfortable, but check out this sweet velour baby...

Well, that #5 will replace the white whale in my nightmares.

[dust1n]

Originally Posted by Revoltingest

1) Would you like to learn about the income tax advantages of whole life insurance over term?
2) I collect vintage photocopiers from the late 1990s....would you like to see some pix?
3) Nowadays, colostomy bags are attractive & attach more securely, so the smell isn't so bad, just look at this!
4) I've invented a new musical instrument which combines the accordian with bagpipes. I'm just learning to play the bagcordian.....I think I have some on my Ipod....
5) People say that thongs are uncomfortable, but check out this sweet velour baby...

I honestly don't think anyone is going to beat Revoltingest in this contest. He is, after all, the most revolting.

[dust1n]

I'm gonna try though.


1.) I got the foot fungus to go away.. for good this time!

2.) Some Rohypnol to go with that spritzer?

3.) Did I mention I have one of the largest butterfly collections in the state?

4.) Have I ever told you that I have the most beautiful eyes you've ever seen?

5.) Let's consider, for one moment, the implications if Kant was completely wrong about everything.

6.) Let me just read you a excerpt from Leviathan.

7.) Have you ever thought about why chairs only have 4 legs? Why not 5?

8.) I enjoy a good game of soccer, but my real passion is curling.

9.) I've watched Space Odyssey at least 100 times, and I anticipate doubling that amount by the end of the year.

10.) They really should stock this place with massage oil, so I wouldn't feel so awkward about this next question...

[ChristineES]

Originally Posted by dust1n

I honestly don't think anyone is going to beat Revoltingest in this contest. He is, after all, the most revolting.

Revoltingest has a gift in this area and in heavy sarcasm, no one could beat him.

[SageTree]

I have diarrhea