Being a bad person

[Mathematician]

I've become overly pessimistic about the prospect of being a good person when most of the world would rather squat on your shoulder and defecate than be remotely generous.

Just this past year I've been manipulated to the point of becoming a misanthrope. After a rather terrible breakup where I caught the love of my life basically arranging to see nude pics of guys she knew in real life, I learned that a mutual friend of ours was going through suicidal tendencies. Our friend had underwent an abortion and because of her Mormon affiliation had lost a lot of her friends. My ex helped on some occasions but was remedying her own pains through alcohol away from the two of us. Well I care for our friend many a night and after one incident where we have sex she repays me by falsely accusing me of rape to cover up the story to my ex. Then months later I'm covering the rent of my room mate who loses his job because of his mother telling the employer he smokes weed. I was fine by helping and even told him that I'd do what I can to find him a job, but then he gets addicted to heroin and I'm forced to cover for his sake (he had nowhere to go). I also knew that our more naive room mate would be in trouble. Her mother, already debt-ridden, cosigned and so would be the first person our landlord would pursue in case of no payments. Needless to say, months later both room mates get on my back when I approach the first expecting only half of the money gradually repaid. I've moved out (not contractually, but by getting an illegal sub-tenant) because I couldn't afford to cover and be around the heroin.

I'm just sick of people.

[Kilgore Trout]

Sounds like you just need to choose a different group of people to surround yourself with.

[Alceste]

Originally Posted by GeneCosta

I've become overly pessimistic about the prospect of being a good person when most of the world would rather squat on your shoulder and defecate than be remotely generous.

Just this past year I've been manipulated to the point of becoming a misanthrope. After a rather terrible breakup where I caught the love of my life basically arranging to see nude pics of guys she knew in real life, I learned that a mutual friend of ours was going through suicidal tendencies. Our friend had underwent an abortion and because of her Mormon affiliation had lost a lot of her friends. My ex helped on some occasions but was remedying her own pains through alcohol away from the two of us. Well I care for our friend many a night and after one incident where we have sex she repays me by falsely accusing me of rape to cover up the story to my ex. Then months later I'm covering the rent of my room mate who loses his job because of his mother telling the employer he smokes weed. I was fine by helping and even told him that I'd help for awhile, but then he gets addicted to heroin and I'm forced to cover for both his sake (he had nowhere to go) and our other room mate (whose mother, already debt-ridden, cosigned and so would be the first person our landlord would pursue in case of no payments). They get on my back when I approach my room mate expecting only half of the money gradually repaid.

I'm just sick of people.

Maybe you should move somewhere people aren't so horrible and start fresh.

[Revoltingest]

Horrible people are everywhere (especially Canada).
It's a matter of learning how to cope with them.

[Songbird]

Oh, Genecosta, I'm sorry. Obviously I have no idea what your friendship dynamics are like, but it sounds like you often get taken advantage of. You can still be generous and compassionate, as you seem to be, and have healthy boundaries. Not sure if you're looking to vent or want advice...

[Odion]

I'm so sorry to hear of this, GeneCosta. I can't offer you advice that others haven't given, but I can tell you I hope things smooth out for you sooner rather than later.

[Alceste]

Originally Posted by Revoltingest

Horrible people are everywhere (especially Canada).
It's a matter of learning how to cope with them.

I disagree. GeneCosta is a socialist and he lives in Texas. The only thing that surprises me is that he didn't get the hell out of there the minute he could drive. And I say that from experience as a socialist who used to live in Alberta.

There's nothing to be gained by trying to smash yourself into a square hole if you happen to be a round peg. To cite my own example, I was made to live in the rural West Coast. I lived in three countries and 7 towns and cities before I settled here. I can be completely at ease in the company of others here. I don't get funny looks when I let on that I read books and speak other languages, or express concerns about poverty and homelessness, or the desire to build myself a house of wattle and daub, or sympathy for the plight of first nations people. In a right-wing province I always had to be cautious not to reveal much of myself to others. I had to cordon off entire topics of conversation, opinions and areas of interest as "off-limits" to maintain a healthy social life. As a result such friendships as I had were emotionally unsatisfying and often fraught with moments of heated debate if I let something slip.

Bugger that for a game of soldiers.

[bobhikes]

There are few times in my life when I felt I was at my end. I refused go peacefully and worked myself out of it. It took time and pain but I am glad I did eventhough all I got from it was perspective.

There is one time when I couldn't work it out myself and I finally got help. Ultimately I was able to shed most of my demons. What I learned is not to wait so long before letting others help.


Good luck in time you will have a new view, here's hoping its much happier.

[ninerbuff]

Lol, I sold vacuums door to door for 12 years. And there were some really mean people out there to deal with. Since I was on straight commission, there were months where I really struggled to just pay my bills. At one point I lived in my car for awhile, but one thing it taught me is that there is always a bad time in someone's life. Your attitude towards it will either break you down or build you up. I took the optimistic approach and if I hadn't, I may be living an unhappy life. My opinion is that if you have your health, have your brains, and some support, then really you're much better off than those who are dying from cancer, suffering from physical disabilities or living homeless in the streets.

[LuisDantas]

Tough spot, GeneCosta. I wish you luck.