Advice!! (moral, experience, moral, Christians, Christ)

[Hope]

I am really upset about something, and would love anyone's advice. It is in regards to a sibling of mine, a younger sister, who is 19, and still lives with our folks. She is an amazing artist, with totally God-given, natural talent, who has her heart set on studying costume-design ( which she would be absolutely fantastic at---and I'm not saying that just because she's my sister either ). I love her dearly, and want her to be able to follow her dream. However, my father just lectured her the other day on the 'evils' and 'immorality' of people in theatre, and forbid her from following her chosen path, telling her that she should be an architect instead. She is absolutely crushed, and this breaks my heart. She would never dare go against our father's wishes---especially since she still lives under his roof.

So, here's my question---should I intervene in some way? I told her I would gladly talk to him, but she's afraid that would only make matters worse. We love our dad, but he is sometimes a bit narrow-minded in his opinions. Also very strict. I just don't want to see my sister's talent wasted, or her dreams crushed to bits. She has amazing potential, and it makes me so mad that my dad would try to squash that, even if he doesn't necessarily mean to. I want so badly to do something! I can't stand by and watch my sister's spirits go down the tubes because her hopes have been bashed. Any advice anybody?

[robtex]

Hope draw a bigger picture for us. Talk about your father more. Did he use the word evil and immoral and what are his views on the subject? Where did he get his perceptions of the theater and is your father the stirct head of the household type?

What do you know about his lecture that you are willing to put on here for us to chew on and why does he feel the need to choose a career for your sister?

I am also assuming that if he picked her path at some point he pulled the same stunt on you..What was the outcome of that and what did you learn from it that you can share with us.

[Master Vigil]

Do something about it. I don't pretend to know your dad, but that just isn't right. I know many many people in the theater, and in no way does evil necessitate from it. I would definitely say to intervene.

[Lightkeeper]

Maybe your sister could take some kind of a test to see if she has an apptitude for architecture. Maybe a college level professor could talk to your father about what her apptitude is. I think bringing some kind of professional at this point might get you farther.

[Hope]

Thanks, guys. My dad is indeed the 'strict, head-of-the-household' type, Rob. Ooooh, yes---very much so. He and my mother are very conservative Christians, and have very set views about certain things. I don't know much about the actual lecture---my sister just gave me a brief synopsis. I know he only wants the best for his children; unfortunately, the 'best' is often only what is within his view of being good. I have never been outright supported or encouraged in dreams of mine either. When I once expressed a wish to go to Spain to study at a university, he told me I couldn't, because it was 'unsafe'---I was about 22 or 23 at the time. He and my mother even expressed reservations about me going to Scotland to do a creative arts school with Christians, all because it involved drama and acting. I went anyway! And I know from that experience, that to stereotype those who are in theatre and such as 'immoral', is very ignorant and unfair. So, yeah, I'm mad that he said that.

[Lightkeeper]

Come up with a list of Christian costume designers. She doesn't necessarily hve to deal with the theater. Maybe she could just study design.

[robtex]

Hope I need a day to think about this. I have to fiddle with things like this but I do have a few quick observations.

1) While you feel it is ignorant and unfair it is not the issue but may become one if you phrase it that way. Maybe uneducated and unreasonable would be better words if you feel the urge to construct that picture for him.

2) Sounds like you have done this before with your trip. Please go through it mentaliy and assess what went well and unwell. Use that information for your present situation.

3) realize you have a time frame in planning your arguement that will span months maybe a year or more pending basic classes that are important in all colleges irrgardless of major. So when you work on your presentation or arguement don't see it as one big final contestment over the issue. Think of it as gradually fine tuning his opinons over a span of time.

It sounds like a doozie when you have a I-am-the-man-of-the-house type. Such a barbaric way of thinking. Since he already said no you can't really lose an agurement but I have a funny feeling it will be an uphill battle that you will have to fight in small ways over a stretch of time instead of at one time. Give me some more time to chew on this.

Good luck to you two. You sound very protective of your little sis. I have a younger bro and feel that way too.

[linwood]

Hope,

The advice above is good and I just want to add something.

From the perspective of someone who had a talent at a young age and didn`t take advantage of it at the earliest possible time.
There is nothing left but regret and attempts to "catch up" to where one should have gone in the first place.
If your sister truly truly has this talent do not allow her to turn away from it.
It`s something she should work at every single day if even in the smallest of ways.

If an atheist can believe in the conceppt of "sin" this is one of the biggest to me.
Ally yourself with whoever you need to in order to sway your father.

[Feathers in Hair]

I like the idea of the list of Christian costume designers. I don't know the industry well enough to know who to put on the list, though.

I agree that intervening would be a great idea.