Gay parents are at least as good as straight parents. (celibacy, birth control)

[Autodidact]

I'm really sick and tired of people around here slandering us gay parents, by saying that we do not do as good a job as straight parents. This thread is to give you a chance to bring forward your evidence that this is the case. Not your biased, bigoted, opinion, based on neither research not actual personal experience with gay families, but your quality, sound, unbiased research, using sound methodology, that shows this to be the case. I would also be interested in your personal experience with gay and lesbian families, as compared to straight families. I in my turn will be happy to do the same. When I get done showing you that the overwhelming evidence supports my assertion that gay parents do at least as good a job as straight parents, I hope never again to hear this slander from you lying bigots, casting dishonest aspersions on us hardworking gay parents. Go for it.

[Rin]

Can I just head off one attempt before it is brought up because I see this come up so very often.

If the evidence you bring to the table consists of studies done on single-parent families, please explain why the data may be better interpreted by the lack of a gender role as opposed to the lack of a parent. It seems pretty obvious to me that a child will have a harder life if they only have a single parent to look after them instead of two. Therefore, I cannot understand why this explanation is ignored in favour of an explanation involving gender roles.

[Autodidact]

Y'know, if I went around denigrating other people's parenting, and basically saying that their children would be better off with other parents, I would have the integrity to at least try to defend my statements, to make some effort to figure out they were true, but then, I'm a person of character and honesty, unlike those who slander us gay parents here at RF.

[Seyorni]

As good as straight parents? -- Poppycock -- they're probably better!

[Shadow Wolf]

I think it just ridiculous to think gay parents can't do as good as a job as straight. A parents love and child raising skills do not come from gender.

[Autodidact]

Seyorni makes a valid point, which I will expand on. A huge difference between gay and straight people is that gay people, as a rule, do not get pregnant by accident. Virtually every child born to or adopted by a gay couple is wanted and planned for. Wouldn't the world be a wonderful place if every child were wanted and planned for?

When we do research, and compare intact, two-parent gay and straight families, we are actually biasing the research in favor of heterosexuals, because we are not including the 15-year old who was raped by her stepfather, the 19-year old mother of two by two different men, or even the 35 year old divorced mother of 3 who really didn't want any more kids, but got pregnant anyway. These are all common heterosexual scenarios, unheard of among homosexuals. If you just compare all the gay parents to all the straight parents, the gay parents on the whole do better than the straight parents, and this can be parsed out by counting how many heterosexual births are not to intact, two-parent, stable families, and then comparing how these kinds of child-rearing situations impact on kids. The answer is, negatively.

It's not that gay people are better, or even better parents per se, but just that homosexuality has the enormous advantage of not resulting in pregnancy, and therefore unwanted pregnancy.

And for all you abortion opponents, huge plus. No abortion. No birth control, really, either, other than heterosexual celibacy. So for all of you who also assert that homosexuality is a choice (and I think that for many women it is) it's a beneficial choice that everyone should consider.

[dawny0826]

I'm truly sorry that you have to defend yourself. Good parents are those who love their children, provide for their children and make decisions revolving their children that are in the best interest of their children. I agree with Shadow Wolf, gender and sexual orientation matters not.

[3.14]

beside the fact that a son with lesbians doesn't have a clear role model and that gay parants are more prone to harresment and intolerance i see no real problem

[Mike182]

Originally Posted by 3.14

beside the fact that a son with lesbians doesn't have a clear role model and that gay parants are more prone to harresment and intolerance i see no real problem

Firstly, extended family and close friends of the lesbian couple can more than adequately compensate for a lack of a male role model if there is a distinct need for one. Note of course that I only say if there is a distinct need for one, I don't think a lesbian couple, by virtue of being a lesbian couple, lack both masculine and feminine role models, which I personally think come second in the list of priorities for a child with a loving parent or parents on the top of the list... But yes, if there is a lack in a certain case, there are people on hand who are readily available for this to not be an issue. Same for a single male or female parent, they will have friends and family of the opposite gender to take on the position of a role model if it is required.

Secondly, I have not heard the claim that gay parents are more prone to harassment and intolerance, I would have thought the opposite given that gays in general tend to suffer harassment and intolerance when growing up and so actively try to avoid that in their adult lives. But please, prove me wrong and post some decent case studies showing your position in this instance to be the real case.

[Functionless]

People are just afraid that if kids have gay parents that they will "decide" to be gay too.