what are the boundries on men protecting women? (sex)

[robtex]

I was leaving my night job a few weeks back with a female co-worker. The security guard called out to me asking me to protect my female co-worker while going to the car. There was no reason to think she was in any danger. The parking lot was well lighted, no visible threats. No reason at all to believe she was in any danger at all. My co-worker, who is really laid-back overall, was rather annoyed at the comment because she felt it made her out to be "helpless" and there was no reason for her to need protection at that time.

This prompted me to make this thread. I want to debate, what are and what should be the boundaries for a man offering to protect a woman? What is reasonable and socially healthy and what is not? When you articulate your answer could you please qualify why you made your assessment?

[Terrywoodenpic]

If you are with a physically weaker person going into a situation that may have a degree of danger for such a person It makes sense to stay together for both your sakes.
It also make sense to go into such situations with others, what ever your or their degree of strength.
This is the advice given by our police...
It has nothing to to with sex.

[robtex]

Originally Posted by Terrywoodenpic

If you are with a physically weaker person going into a situation that may have a degree of danger for such a person It makes sense to stay together for both your sakes.
It also make sense to go into such situations with others, what ever your or their degree of strength.
This is the advice given by our police...
It has nothing to to with sex.

actually what qualifies as perceived danger can really vary. For instance, for me, and this is just for me since I am the only person I am really able to qualify perceived danger for, going to the grocery store at night by myself is cool, walking the dogs at night (a poodle and a schnauzer) in the park without lighting is ok too.

But surely somebody locally would give me grief about my weekly dog walks, or my trips to the grocery store. I am still thinking how to answer it but I do know at this point that perceived danger is a variable that varies from person to person in the exact same environment.

I also know that actual danger is sometimes different than perceived danger. For instance, going back to the grocery store story at night. I remember telling a female co-worker that it is a great idea to grocery shop at night. She looks back at me with that "are you kidding me look" and says "Yea for you, but you are a man. Not for a woman dear." The actual danger is likely not there but the perceived danger is.

In regards to your post do you think that men and women have equal physical and mental abilities in terms of ability to protect themselves or is there a variance in general?

[Reverend Rick]

I believe there are enough exceptions to the rule now that the rule is almost nonexistant.

[robtex]

Originally Posted by Reverend Rick

I believe there are enough exceptions to the rule now that the rule is almost nonexistant.

could you please elaborate on this?

I guess what I do know is that the woman should be the one to decide those boundaries but in the south many women don't leaving the man to attempt to predict.

I know that the boundaries for perceived safely for both men and women are much smaller than actual.

I know that the issue is very sensative and hard for men to talk about with women almost to the point where it is a moray to talk about it as a reasonable topic.

[Scuba Pete]

I am not sure what the statistics are, but I am fairly confident that women are raped far more often then men and that rape rarely happens when there is more than one person traveling together. It really doesn't matter what sex their companion is, only that they have one.

Rapists are cowards. They are incapable of seducing a woman and so feel impotent. Like any cockroach, they shy away from others and take out their frustration in an opportunistic fashion: when their prey is alone. To my shame, I feel nothing but contempt for them.

[jacquie4000]

Originally Posted by Terrywoodenpic

If you are with a physically weaker person going into a situation that may have a degree of danger for such a person It makes sense to stay together for both your sakes.
It also make sense to go into such situations with others, what ever your or their degree of strength.
This is the advice given by our police...
It has nothing to to with sex.

I agree with this, I always tell my son never to travel alone. I live in a safe town but you never know it is always safer to travel in a group then to be by yourself.

[Nanda]

I'm a little girl - only 5' 2". There's not much I could do, unarmed, to an assailant. As I've mentioned in other threads, however, I have a girlfriend who is 6' 1" and weighs almost 300lbs, who swordfights. She is as tough as she is sweet, and I'd feel safe going anywhere with her. I also have a guy friend who is 5' 8", and weighs 129 lbs. When we go for walks at night, it's occassionally a bit scary. Because like he's said himself, in that situation, who's protecting whom? So I would argue that, like Terry said, it's not really a question of gender.

[robtex]

Originally Posted by jacquie4000

I agree with this, I always tell my son never to travel alone. I live in a safe town but you never know it is always safer to travel in a group then to be by yourself.

But what is the utility your son assigns to this idea? If he is like me, I imagine he more than likely is, he is much more liberal in what he perceives as safe for him. What you are doing when you say this, is you assigned your perception of safety to him and assuming he accepts this without adjusting it for gender. Which may be true and it may not. I would say it isn't true for me. I have never, ever worried about being raped, robbed, or car-jacked. I am not saying it wouldn't or couldn't happen but more that it isn't something that is on my mind. My perceived idea of safely is likely close to most mens' and far from most womans. I personally think this perception can be group in generalities by gender and that what you think is safe for your son is more than likely very different than his.