A Difficult Decision (beliefs, choice, church, abortion, pray)

[Draka]

Another post I read on the subject of abortion got me to thinking about this. If, during the beginning of a pregnancy (planned or not), test results came in stating that your child will have a debilitating, life-long condition (Down's, missing appendages, brain or other bodily disfiguration, or extremely shortened/painful life-expectancy) what would you do? Do you have any idea what you would do or consider? This is such a difficult thing to consider with many ramifications it makes it hard for some to think with any certainty. Abortion, adoption, raise the child? And how to deal with the consequences of any of those decisions?

What do you think you might do, or consider doing, if faced with something of this magnitude?

[Gentoo]

Like most things in life, it heavily depends on the given situation, and I don't think anyone can truly say what they would do until actually they're in that situation for real.

[Draka]

That's a big thing about it isn't it? I can't say for certain what I would do, but I can say that I have to admit that I would probably seriously consider abortion. I'm pro-choice, but I have always said that I can't ever really see myself ever having one, but when contemplating situations like these, I can't rule it out. I just don't think I could really bring such a child into the world. Especially knowing what pain and woe they would be in for. It's just overwhelming.

[Gentoo]

Originally Posted by Draka

That's a big thing about it isn't it? I can't say for certain what I would do, but I can say that I have to admit that I would probably seriously consider abortion. I'm pro-choice, but I have always said that I can't ever really see myself ever having one, but when contemplating situations like these, I can't rule it out. I just don't think I could really bring such a child into the world. Especially knowing what pain and woe they would be in for. It's just overwhelming.

But there's also the possibility of them leading a healthy, fulfilling life too, however remote that possibility is. I'm also pro-choice but it's one heck of a hard choice that I hope to never have to make.

[The Seeker]

I think it would be hard for anyone to know what they would do unless they were in that situation. I don't know what I would do, but I guess it would ultimately be my wife's decision.

[Booko]

Originally Posted by Draka

Another post I read on the subject of abortion got me to thinking about this. If, during the beginning of a pregnancy (planned or not), test results came in stating that your child will have a debilitating, life-long condition (Down's, missing appendages, brain or other bodily disfiguration, or extremely shortened/painful life-expectancy) what would you do? Do you have any idea what you would do or consider? This is such a difficult thing to consider with many ramifications it makes it hard for some to think with any certainty. Abortion, adoption, raise the child? And how to deal with the consequences of any of those decisions?

What do you think you might do, or consider doing, if faced with something of this magnitude?

A friend of mine was in this exact position. Amniocentesis showed the baby would have Down's. But depending on the family situation and the potential severity of the condition and the financial and other resouces available to support that child for its lifetime, the decision could be different.

For example, if there was no question about being able to support the child (large family support, good finances, national health, or those things), I'd be more inclined to have the child.

If the condition was not severe, I'd be more likely to risk having the child. (After all, my best friend in church growing up had Down's. She's very functional and a real sweetheart.) If the most severe condition, perhaps not. Of course, it's not a certain thing about how severe a condition will be.

Those were the considerations my friend went through with her husband. They only have one son available in their entire family, which is a pretty tiny family for support. It was entirely likely that attempting to support the new child would bankrupt their family, and possibly put them in the street. The Down's was predicted to be the most severe possible. There were other health considerations I won't go into here. After much consultation and prayer and looking at the writings, ultimately they decided to terminate the pregnancy.

I know sometimes there are a few people who talk about abortion like people just choose it on a whim, but those who have actually had to face such decisions know better than that.

This was a very difficult decision for them. It was some comfort to know that according to our beliefs are that a child who dies is specially cared for in the next life, and would not have to suffer in this one. They still would've preferred to have had the child, but they had a duty to the existing son consider also.

I don't envy anyone in such a position.

[jamaesi]

It's really bothersome to me in the cases were the disabled child can live life... they are aborted.

I'm pro-choice, but the implication that disabled people don't deserve to live because they are disabled just gnaws at me. The thought that people think that we would be happier dead. It's hard to explain, to put into words...


If you want a very well-written and eloquent article about this written from a disabled POV, please take the time to read Unspeakable Conversations by Harriet McBryde Johnson.

Originally Posted by Unspeakable Conversations

He insists he doesn't want to kill me. He simply thinks it would have been better, all things considered, to have given my parents the option of killing the baby I once was, and to let other parents kill similar babies as they come along and thereby avoid the suffering that comes with lives like mine and satisfy the reasonable preferences of parents for a different kind of child. It has nothing to do with me. I should not feel threatened.

Whenever I try to wrap my head around his tight string of syllogisms, my brain gets so fried it's . . . almost fun. Mercy! It's like ''Alice in Wonderland.''

...


The peculiar drama of my life has placed me in a world that by and large thinks it would be better if people like me did not exist. My fight has been for accommodation, the world to me and me to the world.


...

[Jaymes]

I'd abort if I somehow got pregnant regardless. I don't like the fact I even have a uterus... I definitely don't want anything else inhabiting it to make me even more conscious of the fact it's still there.