Developing the Masculine Identity (Creator, Earth, churches, divorce, religion)

[Victor]

As I am fully aware how heated this dialogue can get. I ask two things of you:
1. Please read the entire article below.
2. Please choose your words wisely.

How much merit do you personally see in this?

Embracing God's intent and design between the sexes

Boys are falling further behind in school, spend more time in special education classes, are prescribed Ritalin or other drugs to control behavior and have a higher dropout rate than girls. Meanwhile, women now receive more bachelor's degrees than men (133 to 100), and they are more likely than men to become top executives in major corporations before the age of forty.

The sociological landscape between the sexes is clearly changing and not all for the good. In a society that was eager to embrace feminist ideology to right perceived imbalances, men and boys are now suffering the residual effects at home, in relationships, in school and in the workplace. And men are increasingly confused about their role in the world as media images of stupid or abusive fathers degrades and minimizes masculinity.

Don Otis, the author of Whisker Rubs: Developing the Masculine Identity suggests we have been sowing the seeds of social upheaval for decades without considering the consequences. "Lost hurting boys become hurting, angry men. Is this what our society wants to foster?" He chides the feminist movement for their nearsightedness and suggests the move to eradicate gender differences is hurting male-female relationships. "Weak men do not make good husbands and they make even worse fathers," says Otis. "A culture that de-masculinizes boys or men leaves a woman unprotected. Meanwhile, a woman who emasculates a man leaves herself vulnerable."

Boys who feel marginalized by social or media forces will find little motivation to take responsibility for their lives, let alone the lives of others. "Boys are less likely to want to grow up if being a man carries negative baggage or stigma. In the rush to create a culture of sameness, we educate the natural aggressiveness out of boys," explains Otis. He believes the trend toward masculinizing girls and feminizing boys is destroying the differences placed there by the Creator.

In Whisker Rubs, Otis doesn't pull any punches about what he sees happening to boys and men. Feminism has been a double-edged sword, providing some good opportunities for women but leaving boys and men gradually more confused about what's expected of them. He encourages men to push their sons and involve themselves in the lives of other boys. "God has placed men in the lives of other men and boys for a purpose-to push them beyond what they think they can do, beyond their zones of comfort."

Otis looks at what he refers to as "The stages of bewilderment," the five key phases of a man's life. Masculine development begins early and runs through the teenage years, mid-life, and into the so-called Golden Years. Next, he examines the forces that have led to the marginalization of men and boys. Lastly, Otis looks at what we must do, in churches, in schools, in relationships and in the media to develop a healthier view of maleness. "Masculinity is not a pathology for which men need to apologize, it's a God-given gift we can harness for his purposes."


http://www.drlaura.com/reading/index...de=view&id=374

[BFD_Zayl]

see? this is exactly what I have been trying to say....i'm all for equality but as soon as a race/gender.religion begins to overtake another after being helped and still claiming things are unfair...well...thats just plain unfair. I have seen the effects of the de-masculizing here at school, boys can no longer be aggressive in any way, but girls are free to hit, swear, kick em in the nuts, etc. and if the boys do so much as curse them out. you better watch out or the ******* principal will have your ***. like i said. folks, i'm for equality, so do everyone a favor...be fair...or i will make you be fair, capiche? at school i'm one of the few males who is still naturally aggressive, angry, and testosterone fueled. and I have learned to contain this so I can act civilized whenever I need to be, but as soon as something threatens me, my mate, or my family....whatever it is it better watch its back. I will fight to the ends of the earth, kill, and die there for my loved ones. its who I am, who I will always be. no one can ever stop it.

[Ðanisty]

I have mixed feelings on this article. I agree with the overall premise, but some details are bothering me.

Originally Posted by Victor

Boys are falling further behind in school, spend more time in special education classes, are prescribed Ritalin or other drugs to control behavior and have a higher dropout rate than girls. Meanwhile, women now receive more bachelor's degrees than men (133 to 100), and they are more likely than men to become top executives in major corporations before the age of forty.

Yes, of course this is how it was for women before the feminist movement. That doesn't excuse the trend swinging in the direction like this though.

The sociological landscape between the sexes is clearly changing and not all for the good. In a society that was eager to embrace feminist ideology to right perceived imbalances, men and boys are now suffering the residual effects at home, in relationships, in school and in the workplace. And men are increasingly confused about their role in the world as media images of stupid or abusive fathers degrades and minimizes masculinity.

They were not merely perceived imbalances..they were actual imbalances. Everything else here I agree with.

Don Otis, the author of Whisker Rubs: Developing the Masculine Identity suggests we have been sowing the seeds of social upheaval for decades without considering the consequences. "Lost hurting boys become hurting, angry men. Is this what our society wants to foster?" He chides the feminist movement for their nearsightedness and suggests the move to eradicate gender differences is hurting male-female relationships. "Weak men do not make good husbands and they make even worse fathers," says Otis. "A culture that de-masculinizes boys or men leaves a woman unprotected. Meanwhile, a woman who emasculates a man leaves herself vulnerable."

I don't think it's the actual move to eradicate gender differences that's hurting male-female relationships...I think it's that women have started abusing their new-found power. If the differences were truly eradicated, I don't think there would be a problem. They aren't though...they're just polarized differently now. That is the fault of the modern feminist movement.

Boys who feel marginalized by social or media forces will find little motivation to take responsibility for their lives, let alone the lives of others. "Boys are less likely to want to grow up if being a man carries negative baggage or stigma. In the rush to create a culture of sameness, we educate the natural aggressiveness out of boys," explains Otis. He believes the trend toward masculinizing girls and feminizing boys is destroying the differences placed there by the Creator.

I think this has happened to boys, but I still don't see the problem with allowing girls to be aggressive and allowing boys to be submissive if that's who they naturally are.

In Whisker Rubs, Otis doesn't pull any punches about what he sees happening to boys and men. Feminism has been a double-edged sword, providing some good opportunities for women but leaving boys and men gradually more confused about what's expected of them. He encourages men to push their sons and involve themselves in the lives of other boys. "God has placed men in the lives of other men and boys for a purpose-to push them beyond what they think they can do, beyond their zones of comfort."

I agree with this.

Otis looks at what he refers to as "The stages of bewilderment," the five key phases of a man's life. Masculine development begins early and runs through the teenage years, mid-life, and into the so-called Golden Years. Next, he examines the forces that have led to the marginalization of men and boys. Lastly, Otis looks at what we must do, in churches, in schools, in relationships and in the media to develop a healthier view of maleness. "Masculinity is not a pathology for which men need to apologize, it's a God-given gift we can harness for his purposes."

Okay, first of all, I love the honesty in referring to these as "stages of bewilderment." And I agree, masculinity is not a pathology.

[Victor]

Originally Posted by BFD_Zayl

see? this is exactly what I have been trying to say....i'm all for equality but as soon as a race/gender.religion begins to overtake another after being helped and still claiming things are unfair...well...thats just plain unfair. I have seen the effects of the de-masculizing here at school, boys can no longer be aggressive in any way, but girls are free to hit, swear, kick em in the nuts, etc. and if the boys do so much as curse them out. you better watch out or the ******* principal will have your ***. like i said. folks, i'm for equality, so do everyone a favor...be fair...or i will make you be fair, capiche? at school i'm one of the few males who is still naturally aggressive, angry, and testosterone fueled. and I have learned to contain this so I can act civilized whenever I need to be, but as soon as something threatens me, my mate, or my family....whatever it is it better watch its back. I will fight to the ends of the earth, kill, and die there for my loved ones. its who I am, who I will always be. no one can ever stop it.

Wousers! I don't remember it being that bad when I was in school.

[Mike182]

is this potentially going to have a US/UK culture divide?

[Reverend Rick]

Women say they like a sensitive man, but they rarely respect one.

Men did need to change, we need to understand that women want us to listen to them and care about their issues. Men think they want us to solve problems when all they really want is us to sympathise and be supportive.

I believe much equality has been achieved by lowering expectations of what men do.

I further believe there are many young boys who do not have a positive role model.

Being a macho sucessful man has been viewed lately as some kind of supremacist sexist person who has stepped on people to get where they are.

The strong silent type is looked upon as backwards now a days.

The only Alpha male professions today are military, police and firemen. They happen to have one of the highest percentage of divorces however.

[Victor]

Originally Posted by Mike182

is this potentially going to have a US/UK culture divide?

What do you mean Mike?

[BFD_Zayl]

i'm strong and silent, i usually stay out of the way and quiet, but i can get loud if need be, lol.