What Does It Mean To Be A Lady Or A Gentleman? (marriage)

[Sunstone]

What does it mean to be a lady or a gentleman? Are the terms still useful or meaningful today?

[michel]

Originally Posted by Sunstone

What does it mean to be a lady or a gentleman? Are the terms still useful or meaningful today?

Personally, I think those terms are meaningful. I don't know if this is a quote by anyone famous, but I have heard it this way:-

A gentleman is a man who can mahe a woman feel like a lady, and
A lady is a woman who can make a man feel like a gentleman.

Of course, in these days of equality of the sexes, I ave noticed one or two women who were positively put out by the term "Lady", as if, by the use of the term, there was an implication of inequality.

My wife is a lady, and is never offended by the term. She still likes it when a gentleman hold a door open for her to go through it first..

We had a laugh recently, when I got out of the car to open the passenger door for her; somehow, acts like that (which were very much in vogue when we were 'courting' (to use another old fashioned word) tend to be forgotten after years of marriage. I suddenly decided that I should remember the niceties of the old days. This year will be our 31st (but not until november).

Strangely enough (and not off topic), this is apparently the reason why most men light a match by rubbing it on the box towards themselves, while women flick the match away from them; that was because gentlemen did not want to endager women before matches were "Safety matches", and would rather have the buring head go on them than on ladies.

[eudaimonia]

Originally Posted by Sunstone

What does it mean to be a lady or a gentleman?

It means to show through one's words and deeds a concern for the comfort of others.

In contrast, people who are not ladies or gentlemen unintentionally give others offense.


eudaimonia,

Mark

[Comprehend]

Originally Posted by michel

Personally, I think those terms are meaningful. I don't know if this is a quote by anyone famous, but I have heard it this way:-

A gentleman is a man who can mahe a woman feel like a lady, and
A lady is a woman who can make a man feel like a gentleman.

Of course, in these days of equality of the sexes, I ave noticed one or two women who were positively put out by the term "Lady", as if, by the use of the term, there was an implication of inequality.

My wife is a lady, and is never offended by the term. She still likes it when a gentleman hold a door open for her to go through it first..

We had a laugh recently, when I got out of the car to open the passenger door for her; somehow, acts like that (which were very much in vogue when we were 'courting' (to use another old fashioned word) tend to be forgotten after years of marriage. I suddenly decided that I should remember the niceties of the old days. This year will be our 31st (but not until november).

Strangely enough (and not off topic), this is apparently the reason why most men light a match by rubbing it on the box towards themselves, while women flick the match away from them; that was because gentlemen did not want to endager women before matches were "Safety matches", and would rather have the buring head go on them than on ladies.

What a cool description. I think that most of society has abandoned the notions of being a lady or gentleman but personally, I think it leads to a better society all around. Ever since my wife and I had kids (we have 2) I don't open the door for her anymore because we are both loading kids in the car, etc. most of the time. your post has given me fresh resolve to always open her door and to work harder at being a gentleman. Thanks michel.

[Hema]

For me, being a lady means carrying about oneself with dignity. If a woman has respect for herself and her body, then it goes a long way towards gaining respect from men. For a man to be a gentleman, I interpret it as a man carrying about himself in a polite manner. Guys - whilstling and calling noises towards other women is NOT gentlemanly. Perhaps there are women who like those things but my girlfriends and I think it sooooooo annoying. If you like a woman, be a gentleman and speak to her like the lady that she is. If a man treats a woman with respect and dignity, it shows that he's a gentleman. Both men and women should be polite and have basic manners though.

[Comprehend]

Originally Posted by eudaimonia

It means to show through one's words and deeds a concern for the comfort of others.

In contrast, people who are not ladies or gentlemen unintentionally give others offense.


eudaimonia,

Mark

Mark - isn't it possible that one could show concern for the comfort of others as you say yet still "unintentionally give others offense"?

Rather than unintentionally, would "negligently" be a better fit?

[eudaimonia]

Originally Posted by comprehend

Mark - isn't it possible that one could show concern for the comfort of others as you say yet still "unintentionally give others offense"?

Rather than unintentionally, would "negligently" be a better fit?

Either word seems fine to me. I'm not sure I understand why you favor one over the other.


eudaimonia,

Mark

[Comprehend]

Originally Posted by eudaimonia

Either word seems fine to me. I'm not sure I understand why you favor one over the other.


eudaimonia,

Mark

The word unintentionally would allow for a single person to fit both your definition for one who is a gentleman and one who isn't at the same time.

Negligence would not allow for one to fit the definition of both because it indicates that he had no concern.

(but it doesn't really matter, I wasn't sure what you meant)

[darkpenguin]

Originally Posted by michel

My wife is a lady, and is never offended by the term. She still likes it when a gentleman hold a door open for her to go through it first..

I'm the same and my fiance loves it, as do I. I guess it comes down to how you were raised, I was raised to have an enormous amount of repsect for women and to treat them right.
It's sad that ladies and gentlemen and courting seem to be dying out nowadays.