Security Or Growth? (ritual, spiritual)

[Sunstone]

If you had to choose between being in an emotionally and financially secure and enduring relationship with someone on the one hand, and being in relationship that allowed you greater leeway for emotional, mental and spiritual growth on the other hand, which would you choose? That is, what's more important to you: How secure a relationship is and how long a it lasts, or how much you grow as a person when in one?

[Pardus]

IMO, this comes to the core of freedom vs safety.

They are Yin and Yang.

[MaddLlama]

Who says that growth and security are mutually exclusive? I think I'm in a financialy and emotionally secure relationship, but that doesn't mean I stop growing as a person, or as a wife.

[Pardus]

They are not mutually exclusive, they are just at odds with each other.

[Sunstone]

Originally Posted by MaddLlama

Who says that growth and security are mutually exclusive? I think I'm in a financialy and emotionally secure relationship, but that doesn't mean I stop growing as a person, or as a wife.

Perhaps they are not mutually exclusive. But for the purposes of this thread, try to imagine a situation in which they are mutually exclusive and then decide which you would choose.

[Ozzie]

Originally Posted by Sunstone

If you had to choose between being in an emotionally and financially secure and enduring relationship with someone on the one hand, and being in relationship that allowed you greater leeway for emotional, mental and spiritual growth on the other hand, which would you choose? That is, what's more important to you: How secure a relationship is and how long a it lasts, or how much you grow as a person when in one?

Lets just say that greater leeway for emotional, mental and spiritual growth is likely to be found in an emotionally secure and enduring relationship. The financial security aspect is not as important for "growth" but is an important prerequisite for enduring relationships no?

[Mercy Not Sacrifice]

Security, by far.

The world affords us more than enough opportunities to grow and mature. But rare is the day that it provides us genuine, no-strings-attached security.

[PureX]

Originally Posted by Sunstone

If you had to choose between being in an emotionally and financially secure and enduring relationship with someone on the one hand, and being in relationship that allowed you greater leeway for emotional, mental and spiritual growth on the other hand, which would you choose? That is, what's more important to you: How secure a relationship is and how long a it lasts, or how much you grow as a person when in one?

I wouldn't see these as mutually exclusive. I would think that the spiritual growth comes from the committment of a secure and long term relationship. Unless, I suppose, I hadn't yet learned how to let go when the time comes. But I'm probably just pontificating nonsense. I mean, I do believe that spiritual and emotional growth come from committed relationships acted on over time. But then growth also comes from relationships that challenge us, and make is let go of them when the time comes, too. In the end, all relationships are teachers, short and open or long and committed.

Hmmm ...

This may sound weird to you, but in all honesty I think I would pick the relationship with the person who needs my love the most (if I had to choose). I did that one time, I don't even know why, and it turned out to be the best relationship I ever had. And what I learned from it, even though I eventually lost her, is still probably the most important lessons I've ever learned in my life. God gave me an angel, but did so in a way that made me have to overcome my 'self' to recognize the gift for what it was. And I think this is how it often works in life.

Maybe the answer isn't about what we want, but what they need?

[MaddLlama]

Originally Posted by Pardus

They are not mutually exclusive, they are just at odds with each other.

I don't see how.