Friends With Benefits? (sex)

[Sunstone]

What do you think of the increasing practice, especially among young people, of "being friends with benefits"? That is, of not entering into a committed relationship with someone, but rather agreeing to be mere friends with occasional sex (the benefits) thrown in?

Does this practice benefit both parties equally? Is one sex benefited more than another here?

Can friends with benefits ever take the place of a long term committed relationship for emotional and mental satisfaction?

Is this a phase kids go through these days that they will grow out of sooner or later, to settle down and raise families, or is it the wave of the future?

What do you think?

[Flappycat]

Originally Posted by Sunstone

What do you think of the increasing practice, especially among young people, of "being friends with benefits"? That is, of not entering into a committed relationship with someone, but rather agreeing to be mere friends with occasional sex (the benefits) thrown in?

Does this practice benefit both parties equally? Is one sex benefited more than another here?

Can friends with benefits ever take the place of a long term committed relationship for emotional and mental satisfaction?

Is this a phase kids go through these days that they will grow out of sooner or later, to settle down and raise families, or is it the wave of the future?

What do you think?

Terminology and social structures may end up changing. It's hard to tell how hard-wired some of our behaviors are, though, really.

[EnhancedSpirit]

Originally Posted by Sunstone

What do you think of the increasing practice, especially among young people, of "being friends with benefits"? That is, of not entering into a committed relationship with someone, but rather agreeing to be mere friends with occasional sex (the benefits) thrown in?

Does this practice benefit both parties equally? Is one sex benefited more than another here?

Can friends with benefits ever take the place of a long term committed relationship for emotional and mental satisfaction?

Is this a phase kids go through these days that they will grow out of sooner or later, to settle down and raise families, or is it the wave of the future?

What do you think?

My last boyfriend (we are still friends) came to me with this proposition. He didn't want to be exclusive, he didn't want to 'get back together', he wanted to be 'friends with benefits'. (We used to call it 'f*** buddies' when I was younger).

As tempting as it was, because we were very compatible on many levels, and I would like to get back with him. I remembered the milk and the cow thing my grandpa used to say. And I told him that while I know I would enjoy the moment, afterwards I would feel like "I'm good enough to f*** but not good enough to be his 'girlfriend'". And I graciously declined.

[Sunstone]

Originally Posted by EnhancedSpirit

My last boyfriend (we are still friends) came to me with this proposition. He didn't want to be exclusive, he didn't want to 'get back together', he wanted to be 'friends with benefits'. (We used to call it 'f*** buddies' when I was younger).

As tempting as it was, because we were very compatible on many levels, and I would like to get back with him. I remembered the milk and the cow thing my grandpa used to say. And I told him that while I know I would enjoy the moment, afterwards I would feel like "I'm good enough to f*** but not good enough to be his 'girlfriend'". And I graciously declined.

It was nice of you to be gracious about it. You're a sweetheart, ES.

[Flappycat]

To tell you the truth, there ARE some ancient precedents for these kinds of relationships if you can translate from patriarchialian.

[Scarlett Wampus]

What do you think of the increasing practice, especially among young people, of "being friends with benefits"? That is, of not entering into a committed relationship with someone, but rather agreeing to be mere friends with occasional sex (the benefits) thrown in?

I think its...an interesting phenomenon. I would probably do this if it were possible but instead I have one short relationship with one person after another.

Does this practice benefit both parties equally? Is one sex benefited more than another here?

I'm not sure. I know that men are more likely to want to live like that, or rather that's how it seems to me.

Can friends with benefits ever take the place of a long term committed relationship for emotional and mental satisfaction?

Just by virtue of it being different to a long term committed relationship there are things that are going to be missed. It goes both ways though. Almost all of my childhood friends are married, some have kids. They're bemused at my having no apparent interest in doing the same and sometimes when they're out with me get nostalgic for when they were single, expressing some jealousy. I'm jealous of them too sometimes.

Having had to deal with the difficulties of a long term relationship are what some point to as ways in which they've grown emotionally. If friends 'with benefits' becomes partly an avoidance of responsibility, emotional and otherwise, then its a worry.

Is this a phase kids go through these days that they will grow out of sooner or later, to settle down and raise families, or is it the wave of the future?

I can't see it becoming more common than people settling down, not in my lifetime at least. These things might contribute to making it more common though: Issues of overpopulation, the continuing drop in fertility amongst men & women, and the demands of modern living increasing the time it takes for people to feel & live as adults.

[Scarlett Wampus]

Originally Posted by Flappycat

To tell you the truth, there ARE some ancient precedents for these kinds of relationships if you can translate from patriarchialian.

Really? Say some more.

[Green Gaia]

I can't comment on what is right for someone else, but I couldn't do it. Sex with another person is too sacred, too important to be flippant about, IMO.

[Flappycat]

Originally Posted by Maize

I can't comment on what is right for someone else, but I couldn't do it. Sex with another person is too sacred, too important to be flippant about, IMO.

I've always considered this attitude strange. I've never thought of the mechanical act of sex as being particularly important. The domestic aspects have always seemed more important to me, and I've generally considered sex a consequence rather than a motive, at least in serious relationships.

[angellous_evangellous]

Originally Posted by Flappycat

To tell you the truth, there ARE some ancient precedents for these kinds of relationships if you can translate from patriarchialian.

Sexual norms in Greece and Rome could perhaps translate into the who