Date Rape (reject, choice, mission, experience, recall)

[Fluffy]

That definition of consent is unacceptible to me. Assuming they both chose of their own free will to drink and then consented to sex, consent cannot be withdrawn for an act already completed. Regret is different than lack of consent. Either party has a right to tell the other to stop at any time, and the other must respect that decision. After a drink or two you may make a bad decision, but it is still your decision. This statement relieves the alleged victim of responsibility of a choice made while drinking. By that logic, the alleged rapist should also be relieved of responsibility of a choice made while drinking. Rape can certainly occur while drinking or taking drugs, but so can consentual sex.

That definitely seems to solve many of the problems that I found whilst considering this idea.

However, I get the impression that this: "Too many times women abuse the law and get away with throwing (what I believe are) innocent men in jail." Doesn't actually happen that often (looking at the statistics for rape and convicted rape in England). Anyway, apart from anything else, it is difficult to comprehend that a human being would do such a thing for absolutely no reason. A person who claims they have been raped must at the very least believe they have been raped.

[evearael]

However, I get the impression that this: "Too many times women abuse the law and get away with throwing (what I believe are) innocent men in jail." Doesn't actually happen that often (looking at the statistics for rape and convicted rape in England). Anyway, apart from anything else, it is difficult to comprehend that a human being would do such a thing for absolutely no reason. A person who claims they have been raped must at the very least believe they have been raped.

My husband talked to a couple of police officers while I reported being raped. The officers said that nine out of ten women who come in to report a rape are obviously lying and, sadly, the judges know that so the conviction rate is dismal. The women who lie make it much more difficult to actually put the guilty behind bars, and are enabling rapists to walk free and prey again. Out of all the women I've talked to about rape, sexual assault and molestation, only one has not been through it. It is an epidemic. It is absolutely heartbreaking that most of the women who've been through it do not come forward, while most of the women who do are lying.

[egroen]

People can be terribly vindictive.

Accuse a teacher who gave you a bad grade of sexually molesting you and he will at the very least be suspended, whether innocent or guilty.

****** off at your neighbors? Call child protective services on them and there is a good chance their children will be taken away for a period of time (I have a friend this happened to).

Got dumped by your boyfriend? Accuse him of rape. You can easily ruin his life until he can prove his innocense (look at the Duke Lacrosse Team).

File a personal protection order and they are considered guilty until they can appeal it. I have a friend who did this out of spite to an ex-boyfriend.

-Erin

[evearael]

*nods*

File a personal protection order and they are considered guilty until they can appeal it.

In my case I was unable to get a restraining order because I was not married to the person who raped me. How that makes sense I'll never know... The amount of protection available varies drastically from state to state.

On the bright side, my husband trained me how to use a shotgun.

[michel]

Originally Posted by evearael

*nods*
In my case I was unable to get a restraining order because I was not married to the person who raped me. How that makes sense I'll never know... The amount of protection available varies drastically from state to state.

On the bright side, my husband trained me how to use a shotgun.

I am sorry, Eve. Would you, could you use a shotgun ?

[evearael]

I am sorry, Eve. Would you, could you use a shotgun ?

With no regrets.

[Faint]

Personally, I've been as drunk as a man can get (on many occasions) and not once on any of those nights did I 1) fail to remember what was right or wrong and 2) I never did consented to anything I wouldn't consent to sober and 3) I never found anyone attractive who I wouldn't normally find attractive.

In my experience, people under the influence know exactly what they're doing. Like the saying, "a drunk man's words are a sober man's thoughts". So I don't buy it when a girl says she was so drunk she didn't know what she was doing. I think she was doing exactly what she wanted to do, but then once the inhibitions returned she felt guilty/ashamed. It's stupid. Unless they're drugged or unconscious (or close enough to it) I don't think drunk girls saying "yes yes yes" counts as rape.

[Mike182]

Originally Posted by Faint

Personally, I've been as drunk as a man can get (on many occasions) and not once on any of those nights did I 1) fail to remember what was right or wrong and 2) I never did consented to anything I wouldn't consent to sober and 3) I never found anyone attractive who I wouldn't normally find attractive.

In my experience, people under the influence know exactly what they're doing. Like the saying, "a drunk man's words are a sober man's thoughts". So I don't buy it when a girl says she was so drunk she didn't know what she was doing. I think she was doing exactly what she wanted to do, but then once the inhibitions returned she felt guilty/ashamed. It's stupid. Unless they're drugged or unconscious (or close enough to it) I don't think drunk girls saying "yes yes yes" counts as rape.

i agree with you to some extent.... the few times i have done "stuff" i have regretted have been when i have drank a lot of alcohol, but at the time, it was exactly what i wanted to be doing, and i consented to it - but that doesn't mean it is right for someone to lead a drunk person on, or to take advantage of them.

[Faint]

Originally Posted by Mike182

i agree with you to some extent.... the few times i have done "stuff" i have regretted have been when i have drank a lot of alcohol, but at the time, it was exactly what i wanted to be doing, and i consented to it - but that doesn't mean it is right for someone to lead a drunk person on, or to take advantage of them.

My point is if the drunk person is not interested, it doesn't matter whether or not they're drunk...because they won't be having sex if they don't want to. For instance, I've been drunk around gay dudes...but I never forget that I'm hetero.