Marriage Inequality Hurts Real People (paradise, virgin, church, LDS)

[Green Gaia]

I know I've talked about Barbara and Tibby before, but please read their story again: Paradise Lost

Barbara and Tibby were watching television in their living room rocking chairs in the summer of 2004 when they heard the news they'd been dreading for months. A new law in Virginia had taken effect, called the Affirmation of Marriage Act. It declared that couples like them were not entitled to any of the benefits or protections that straight, married couples got.

They had been hearing about the law, part of a national backlash against gay marriages in California and Massachusetts, for several months. For Barbara and Tibby, the legal language it used was scary: A civil union, partnership contract or other arrangement between persons of the same sex purporting to bestow the privileges or obligations of marriage is prohibited and such an arrangement entered into in another state or jurisdiction is void in Virginia and any contractual rights created thereby are void and unenforceable.


Tibby initially refused to believe that the legislation was aimed at Barbara and her. They were law-abiding, low-key Virginians, people who ran their neighborhood homeowners association, called bingo nights at the firehouse and served on their church's board of trustees. "That's not meant to include us. It means people who come from other states," Tibby said with her typically earnest tone to Barbara, who responded with a typically skeptical look. They are partners and best friends, but often opposites when it comes to their gut instincts on human nature. Tibby believes the best of people; Barbara doesn't.


It wasn't new to either woman that they weren't entitled to all kinds of benefits that straight, married couples enjoyed: No leave from work to care for a sick partner. No access to a partner's Social Security payments when he or she dies. No right to live together in a nursing home.


Barbara and Tibby never had those rights and never made a fuss about it. Having been raised in what they describe as the patriarchal, deeply conservative climate of Salt Lake City in the 1940s and '50s, they expected little as women and even less as lesbians. But now there was no room to be silent, to not make a fuss. An aneurysm in Barbara's brain, first detected in 2001, had changed all that. As the Affirmation of Marriage Act made its way through the Virginia General Assembly, Barbara became gripped day and night by images of herself unconscious, on a respirator, with someone other than Tibby beside her, making decisions for her.


"If this goes through," she warned Tibby, "we're outta here."

[Bishka]

Interesting article, but I do not like how it is severley biased against the LDS Church and makes it out to be a big, bad monster.

[Bishka]

They make Utah out to be a horrible place for GBLT. In fact, I had several GBLT friends, and they were just fine, they had problems in school as all GBLT's usually do, but they had a good environment and people who supported them.

[Green Gaia]

Interesting article, but I do not like how it is severley biased against the LDS Church and makes it out to be a big, bad monster.

Well, that is the women's perception of the church and what happened to them in the church that they felt forced to leave.

[Green Gaia]

Originally Posted by beckysoup61

They make Utah out to be a horrible place for GBLT. In fact, I had several GBLT friends, and they were just fine, they had problems in school as all GBLT's usually do, but they had a good environment and people who supported them.

They were they in the 1940's-60's, I'd say it's changed some since then, don't you?

[Bishka]

Originally Posted by Maize

They were they in the 1940's, I'd say it's changed some since then, don't you?

Yes, but I still think the article had biased to it. I lived in Utah for seven years, and as a not so good girl in the LDS Church I felt none of that. Yes, it's changed but I still felt the labeled the LDS Church as this big bad monster.

[Green Gaia]

Originally Posted by beckysoup61

Yes, but I still think the article had biased to it. I lived in Utah for seven years, and as a not so good girl in the LDS Church I felt none of that. Yes, it's changed but I still felt the labeled the LDS Church as this big bad monster.

Well... it was to them and the climate at that time. And now the state of Virginia is the big bad monster...

[maggie2]

Having been raised in what they describe as the patriarchal, deeply conservative climate of Salt Lake City in the 1940s and '50s, they expected little as women and even less as lesbians.

Gee, maybe I can't read or I'm missing something, but I don't see where the LDS church is mentioned at all. The statement is, "...the patriarchal, deeply conservative climate of Salt Lake City..." I think the reaction is overly sensitive as the church is not mentioned. And if a church is implied, I suspect that in Salt Lake City there are and were other churches besides the LDS ones. I don't think everyone there is LDS are they? So if a church is implied, which I don't think it is, it could have been some other church besides the LDS one.

The original point of the article is valid. It does hurt humans when they are excluded in this way. Thank you, Maize, for continuing to make this very needed point.