Is spanking your kids ok? (punishment, tradition, evolve)

[Rex]

Do you think it is ok to spank your kids for discipline?

[painted wolf]

I personaly don't... Traditionally Native children were diciplined with nonviolent means.. kind of like 'time out' only more psycological. I feel that children shouldn't fear their parents will hurt them physically eaven if its just a little.

wa:do

[Druidus]

I agree wholeheartedly with painted wolf.

[Colin_Admin]

na, i dont agree. i think their are times when you should use physical dicipline but i also belive in the use of psycolocial. different scenarios deserve different treatments.

[Lightkeeper]

I don't think spanking gets the job done in the way it needs to get done.

[Ceridwen018]

I am strongly against physical discipline. It doesn't teach the child anything but fear and hatred towards their parents. Likewise, it seems it is not a tool for disciplining the child at all, but for relieving some of the parent's frustration.

As far as parental frustration goes, the line between a disciplinary spanking and a frustrated smack in the face is painfully blurred. A parent who is used to spanking their kids, or using other forms of physical punishment, is much more likely to pass from the realm of physical discipline to physical abuse.

When training a puppy, do you hit it when it does something bad? Of course not--that only teaches the puppy to be fearful, and makes them become even more confused as to what it is they did wrong in the first place.

The psychological affects of physical discipline can be crippling, even if they aren't detected right away. Physical discipline takes away (or refuses to teach in the first place) the right of self. I believe that everyone, no matter how young, needs to be taught that their bodies are their own personal space, and that violation of that space doesn't have to be tolerated. A child who is used to being pushed around by their parents can just as easily get used to being pushed around by bullies, etc.

Basically, the way I see it, we are not Puritans anymore. Our society has evolved, and so must our child-rearing.

[Green Gaia]

I don't believe in spanking, and don't 'spank' my kids, at least not how my parents spanked me. But I do reserve the right to the selective use of a quick swat on the butt if the circumstance warrants it. I don't have to use it often, and it gets the point across quickly and effectively when I do.

[johnnys4life]

I don't think spanking is right, but sometimes it's the only way to raise a good kid. Some kids just do not listen to reason, and they want to do whatever seems fun to them, regardless of who it hurts. I have babysat a lot of kids, and the only times I ever spanked them (with their parent's permission) was when they were doing something stupid that was going to hurt them a lot more than a spanking would, and they wouldn't stop any other way. For example, one kid kept trying to pull a vcr down off a shelf onto his head, and after repeated warnings and removing him from the room, he still snuck up and tried to do it. In my mind, a smack on the butt was the right thing in that situation, because it taught him that behavior would cause pain without actually letting him get seriously injured.

[dolly]

I'm against it. Spanking increases the risk of many, many problems including the child becoming abused, abusing their spouse/children in the future, drug abuse, alcohol abuse, a lower IQ (in comparison to non-spanked peers), and mental issues (depression, etc). It also makes the child more and more difficult to manage. There is no benefit to corporal punishment, but it does have negative side effects.

[Hope]

I think what's important to distinguish here is 'discipline' and 'flagrant abuse'. I was spanked as a child, and I do not resent it. If I ever have children ( though I haven't decided on that yet ), I plan on spanking them if their behavior warrants it. Maybe it's considered too old-fashioned now, or politically incorrect, but I firmly believe in the maxim, 'Spare the rod, and spoil the child.' Spanking a child does not necessarily lead to that child becoming abusive toward others. I was spanked, and I have not become the sort of person that doesn't mind inflicting pain on others. I am, by contrast, a very non-violent person!

The key is in the attitude of the parent. If the parent is spanking the child in an abusive, excessive manner, and is doing it in attitude of frustration or rage--then, yes, it is absolutely wrong and abhorrant. If, however, the parent is simply doing it to discipline the child--to show the child that doing wrong has painful consequences--and makes sure the child knows that he/she is loved no matter what, and that the spanking is actually done in love, then I believe it will produce a positive effect on the child, and not a negative one. And as someone else said in effect, the discipline should fit the wrongdoing. Not everything wrong that a child does deserves a spanking. This is where the wisdom and discernment of the parents come in. Proper physical discipline, I believe, produces respect and self-discipline in a child. My parents screwed up in a lot of ways in raising me; however, one thing I look back on and am grateful for is their spanking me. May sound crazy, but it's true.