How Come All Atheists Are Rude and Obnoxious? (pagan, faith)

[Ringer]

Originally Posted by MidnightBlue

Because we don't have the joy, joy, joy, joy, down in our hearts, down in our hearts, down in our hearts.

HAHA! I remember singing that song back in the day. I think it was Awanas.

[Random]

Nontheists are lovely, pleasant people who only want to tell you it doesn't matter about that whole goddy thing and make you a cup of tea. But those Atheists, woah...hardcore heaven, dudes and dudettes.

[Buttercup]

Originally Posted by Random

But those Atheists, woah...hardcore heaven, dudes and dudettes.

Yeah, and they have no morals either. If the world was filled with more atheists can you imagine the iniquity and scandal? *cough Jim Bakker, Jimmy Swaggart, Ted Haggard cough*

[Kungfuzed]

Originally Posted by Sunstone

So what's up with the fact all atheists are rude and obnoxious? How come that's so? Are their tightie whities too tightie, as many people suspect? Or is there a more superficial reason why all atheists are rude and obnoxious people?

You would be rude and obnoxious too if you knew you were going to hell!

[Halcyon]

Originally Posted by Sunstone

So what's up with the fact all atheists are rude and obnoxious? How come that's so? Are their tightie whities too tightie, as many people suspect? Or is there a more superficial reason why all atheists are rude and obnoxious people?

It's because they don't get enough sleep.
It has been scientifically proven that atheists and other dirty unbelievers are tormented by demons and sasquatches during their REM sleep.

Six hundred subjects were observed at a sleep research facility here in the UK in 1997 - 300 were saved, the other 300 were filthy atheists and agnostics. During the seventeen replicates of the experiment, the Archangel Michael and his Holy army of angels appeared each night to protect the righteous test subjects. While the undefended heathens were left to the perils of devils, moonmen and platypuses.

The results of the study concluded that, as a result of their divine protection, the saved test subjects had a much less interrupted REM sleep pattern and so felt approx. 33% more refreshed upon awakening compared to the disgusting unbelievers.

The article was published in the tri-annual Sandnats journal and can be read in its entirety here.

[Buttercup]

Gawwwwd, Paul. Your post just made my day.

[Nanda]

Originally Posted by MidnightBlue

Because we don't have the joy, joy, joy, joy, down in our hearts

Where?

[Quagmire]

Originally Posted by Halcyon

It's because they don't get enough sleep.
It has been scientifically proven that atheists and other dirty unbelievers are tormented by demons and sasquatches during their REM sleep.

Six hundred subjects were observed at a sleep research facility here in the UK in 1997 - 300 were saved, the other 300 were filthy atheists and agnostics. During the seventeen replicates of the experiment, the Archangel Michael and his Holy army of angels appeared each night to protect the righteous test subjects. While the undefended heathens were left to the perils of devils, moonmen and platypuses.

The results of the study concluded that, as a result of their divine protection, the saved test subjects had a much less interrupted REM sleep pattern and so felt approx. 33% more refreshed upon awakening compared to the disgusting unbelievers.

The article was published in the tri-annual Sandnats journal and can be read in its entirety here.

Good reference Hayclon

In another study researchers discovered that the neurostructure of the atheist brain completely lacks the hallelueyah gland, which is thought to be responsible for manufacturing the hormones phonysmileidrin and passive-aggressterone.