Top Ten Reasons to Vote for a Mormon President (mission, doctrine)

[DeepShadow]

Apologies to any non-LDS who don't get these...

10) The National Cathedral could be renamed the National Tabernacle

9) NASA could commission a satellite to 'hie to Kolob'

8) The Secret Service could be renamed the Sacred Service

7) All official government prayers could include the phrase 'that we all can go home safely'

6) Napoleon Dynamite could get someone other than Pedro elected

5) The President could not only explain things in Layman's terms, but also Lemuel's terms

4) The President could issue pardons in exchange for 100% home teaching

3) Not only could he pronounce 'Nuclear' but also 'Mahonri Moriancumer' and 'Maher Shalal Hash Baz'.

2) At his inauguration he would swear on the Bible 'as far as it is translated correctly'

1) Finally a first family large enough to fill up the White House

[Feathers in Hair]

I really like this one!

8) The Secret Service could be renamed the Sacred Service

I may attempt to steal that for a book I've been thinking of!

[jonny]

7) All official government prayers could include the phrase 'that we all can go home safely'

I hope that they also include something about all food, regardless of what it is, 'nourishing and strengthening our bodies'.

[Comprehend]

That is funny. I like #2 the best.

[lilithu]

Originally Posted by DeepShadow

Apologies to any non-LDS who don't get these...

I didn't get most of them, except to assume that they're inside jokes.

But I *LOVE* self-effacing humour! Did you write these?

[jonny]

I like #2 also. #9 is another one of my favorites.

The inside joke on #2 is from the articles of faith - "We believe the Bible to be the word of God as far as it is translated correctly. We also believe the Book of Mormon to be the word of God."

The inside joke with #9 comes from a scripture in the Book of Abraham. The joke is that it is commonly referred to as "space doctrine" because we really don't know much about Kolob: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kolob

[Katzpur]

Some of these are hysterical, though they will go right over the heads of non-Mormons. My personal favorites:

Originally Posted by DeepShadow

7) All official government prayers could include the phrase 'that we all can go home safely'

I also like Jon's suggestion:

Originally Posted by jonny

I hope that they also include something about all food, regardless of what it is, 'nourishing and strengthening our bodies'.

4) The President could issue pardons in exchange for 100% home teaching

3) Not only could he pronounce 'Nuclear' but also 'Mahonri Moriancumer' and 'Maher Shalal Hash Baz'.

2) At his inauguration he would swear on the Bible 'as far as it is translated correctly'

[Bishka]

Hehehe....thanks!