Believe in Him and be Saved! (gospel, salvation, preach, prophecy)

[Halcyon]

For I am the last Prophet of the Rainbow Bunny, the Seal and the Walrus of the Prophets.

For behold, it saith in the Book of Snarf 19:21;
"Behold it saith in the Book of Steve..."

Think about that, and you will see the Truth in it.

For did not the Prophet Toejam who was before me preach the word of the Holy Bibble? And did not his brother Earl go unto the people of the western shores, taking with him the Rod of Rodrick the Roderific?

Let us contemplate on the words of our Saviour - Gospel of Graham 5:3-6;
"I am the mastication, and the knife: he who believeth in me, though he were bread, yet shall he sieve: And whosoever sieveth and believeth in me shall never fry. Believest thou this?"

The message of the Bibble is clear; only by accepting the Rainbow Bunny as your pet and saviour shall you have eternal doughnuts. You must accept his sacrifice, for he did forgoeth dinner so that we may have seconds. Only when your sins are washed away in his spilt orange juice shall you smell good enough to enter his divine presence.

Repent!
Repent!
Repent your desire for health foods and salad. For only when you let the Rainbow bunny into your heart and your garden shall you eat of the tasty snacks.

[Halcyon]

You know the prophecy of Babiyum?

It tells of the coming apocacrisp, where 57 men and 13 women shall perish, for they have forsaken the Rainbow Bunny and embraced the Anti-Goat.

Heed the words of the Seal and the Walrus, repent for the time draws landscapes!

Know then, that when the seventh moon enters the House of Fritz, behold a man shall be born who doth not liketh the juice of lemons. And low, he shall bring to an end all nations who oppose the sacred aardvark. You have been warned.

[Nanda]

Eternal doughnuts, you say? And all I have to do is take it on blind faith?

[Random]

Badger Lord, the Karma King is here! Now, what madness doth thou babble about this time? No BUNNY shall rule over Random, nay!

[Halcyon]

Originally Posted by Nanda

Eternal doughnuts, you say? And all I have to do is take it on blind faith?

Blind? No!
Visually impaired, of course!

For the Rainbow Bunny does not become pet and saviour to those of reason and long-distance viewing capability, no no no. Ye must forsake the evils of modern language, science and thought (which, lets face it, have done absolutely nothing for you so far).

Only when your mind is free of such Goat-induced imaginings can the Rainbow Bunny truly enter into your garden, so long as it is properly fenced, obviously.

Originally Posted by Random

Badger Lord, the Karma King is here! Now, what madness doth thou babble about this time? No BUNNY shall rule over Random, nay!

Repent demon!

You knoweth in your heart that the Rainbow Bunny is the only way to gain salvation (aka eternal tasty snacks). For shame, you preach against the world's true saviour because you are clearly influenced by the Anti-Goat.

Doth it not say in the Epistle of Marclar;
"And yet the Carpocrasians did wonder about the authenticity of such teachings, and ye, our Pet and Saviour did smite them with terrible breath. For the Rainbow Bunny doth eat his own droppings so that He may gain more fibre from them!"

[Random]

Originally Posted by Halcyon

.Repent demon!

You knoweth in your heart that the Rainbow Bunny is the only way to gain salvation (aka eternal tasty snacks). For shame, you preach against the world's true saviour because you are clearly influenced by the Anti-Goat.

Doth it not say in the Epistle of Marclar;
"And yet the Carpocrasians did wonder about the authenticity of such teachings, and ye, our Pet and Saviour did smite them with terrible breath. For the Rainbow Bunny doth eat his own droppings so that He may gain more fibre from them!"

Thou doth resort once more to quoting scripture, menotice! Thou art a fraud and thy Rainbow Bunny doth clearly lick the furry foot of my god, CHAOS!

[Halcyon]

Originally Posted by Random

Thou doth resort once more to quoting scripture, menotice! Thou art a fraud and thy Rainbow Bunny doth clearly lick the furry foot of my god, CHAOS!

I am no fraud, i am the Seal and the Walrus of the saviour. Look out your window, do you not see street lights? They are proof that what i speak is truth, you cannot deny that.

[Tiberius]

Originally Posted by Halcyon

Doth it not say in the Epistle of Marclar;
"And yet the Carpocrasians did wonder about the authenticity of such teachings, and ye, our Pet and Saviour did smite them with terrible breath. For the Rainbow Bunny doth eat his own droppings so that He may gain more fibre from them!"

Ah, but does not the fourteenth suggestion in the Book of Cookies say; "And thou shalt keep a collection of woolly sock so that thou may eateth them to remain regular, as the Rainbow Bunny doeseth, so that he mayeth leave small pellets to confuse little children. And the socks though shalt eat for this purpose will be of various colours, ye, but not red, for it is the red cordial that maketh people kooky."

This passage clearly states that the Rainbow Bunny (Forever fluffy be his cute little cottontail) gains his fiber from woolly socks. Why would the Rainbow Bunny eat his own droppings? Doesn't this indicate that his digestive system is inefficiant? how can a perfect being be so flawed that he must eat his own steamers? Isn't it much more likely that he gains his fiber from woolly socks (that most sacred of garments, as it was used to keep the baby Rainbow Bunny warm after his birth by the riverside, but also to bind his mortal enemy, the Centipede of Confusion so as to prevent the Centipede from spreading his chaos upon the meadow)? Given that the woolly socks have these three benefits (fiber, keeping warm and binding enemies), isn't this interpretation much more likely?

[Halcyon]

Originally Posted by Tiberius

Ah, but does not the fourteenth suggestion in the Book of Cookies say; "And thou shalt keep a collection of woolly sock so that thou may eateth them to remain regular, as the Rainbow Bunny doeseth, so that he mayeth leave small pellets to confuse little children. And the socks though shalt eat for this purpose will be of various colours, ye, but not red, for it is the red cordial that maketh people kooky."

This passage clearly states that the Rainbow Bunny (Forever fluffy be his cute little cottontail) gains his fiber from woolly socks. Why would the Rainbow Bunny eat his own droppings? Doesn't this indicate that his digestive system is inefficiant? how can a perfect being be so flawed that he must eat his own steamers? Isn't it much more likely that he gains his fiber from woolly socks (that most sacred of garments, as it was used to keep the baby Rainbow Bunny warm after his birth by the riverside, but also to bind his mortal enemy, the Centipede of Confusion so as to prevent the Centipede from spreading his chaos upon the meadow)? Given that the woolly socks have these three benefits (fiber, keeping warm and binding enemies), isn't this interpretation much more likely?

Ah, but you know only too well that the Book of Cookies was a late addition to the Holy Bibble. Its inclusion in the canon was not only disputed by Tiddlepoops the Decapitating Saint, but also by the Rainbow Bunny's (FFBHCLC) right paw man - Dave the Wednesday Chipmunk.

If it wasn't for the intervention of Emperor Schwarzenegger in the 425 A.B. Council of Vanilla, the BoC would have remained as apocrypha. I believe, as Seal and Walrus of our beloved pet and saviour, that anything in the BoC should be taken with not only a pinch of salt, but a pinch of cinnamon too.
The Epistle of Marclar 32:17 (as quoted above) along with the Book of Fred the Disgruntled 17:121 and Mickey's Second Epistle to the Australians 1:7-9 clearly state that the Bunny's (FFBHCLC) fibre is predominantly gained from the eating of his own delightful deposits (hallowed be their smell).

Cookieites, such as yourself i assume, have often argued the inefficient digestion paradox. However, if you accepted the Cherry Tango Creed you would understand that the Bunny (FFBHCLC) works in mysteries ways, and that by his re-consumption of his own droppings he is suggesting to us that we must consume our own deficiencies to gain salvation. Hence the traditional practice of the Poocharist in mainstream churches.

[Tiberius]

And Emperor Schwarzenegger reinstated the BoC into the canon because his studies revealed it to be the truth. We have a wealth of corroborating evidence - the ancient knitting needles, the fossil socks in the meadow. The only reason the BoC was kept out of the Holy Bibble was because of BoC 2:34 and a 1/2: "And the best way to prepare bunnies for cooking is to not chop their heads off, but to boil them, for yea, that is the method of the crazy ***** from Fatal Attraction".

The only reason that Tiddlepoops the Decapitating Saint opposed its inclusion in canon is because he could see that the passage would be used to claim that decapitation is not a fair form of punishment and thus rob him of hi