Chuck Norris (evolution)

Feathers in Hair · #1 02-13-2007, 02:50 PM

Luke Wolf and I began telling Chuck Norris tales in another thread, and I thought it deserved one of its own!

What do you know about Chuck Norris that you should enlighten the world with? (All of the following are from other sites.)

Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.
When Chuck Norris plays Oregon Trail his family does not die from cholera or dysentery, but rather roundhouse kicks to the face. He also requires no wagon, since he carries the oxen, axels, and buffalo meat on his back. He always makes it to Oregon before you.
Chuck Norris owns the greatest poker face of all-time. It helped him win the 1983 world series of poker despite him holding just a joker, a 2 of clubs, a 7 of spades, and a green number 4 from Uno and a monopoly 'get out of jail free' card.

Bishka · #2 02-13-2007, 02:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Feathers in Hair

When Chuck Norris plays Oregon Trail his family does not die from cholera or dysentery, but rather roundhouse kicks to the face. He also requires no wagon, since he carries the oxen, axels, and buffalo meat on his back. He always makes it to Oregon before you.

This is my favorite one so far!

angellous_evangellous · #3 02-13-2007, 02:59 PM

Remember this:

...could be you!

FatMan · #4 02-13-2007, 03:00 PM

- When Chuck Norris falls in water he doesn't get wet, the water gets Chuck Norris.

- If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds till." After you ask, "Two seconds to what?" he roundhouse kicks you in the face.

- Chuck Noris puts the "laughter" in "manslaughter".

- One time a baby goat died and Chuck Norris brought it back to life. He killed it shortly there after. Just goes to show, the good Chuck giveth and the good Chuck taketh away.

- The chief export of Chuck Norris is Pain.

Feathers in Hair · #5 02-13-2007, 03:09 PM

Also, there's no such thing as evolution. There's only a list of animals that Chuck Norris has allowed to live.

angellous_evangellous · #6 02-13-2007, 03:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Feathers in Hair

Also, there's no such thing as evolution. There's only a list of animals that Chuck Norris has allowed to live.

Survival of the kick-fest.

xexon · #7 02-13-2007, 03:12 PM

Chuck Norris took a beating from Bruce Lee.

Lee, was THE man back then.

x

angellous_evangellous · #8 02-13-2007, 03:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by xexon

Chuck Norris took a beating from Bruce Lee.

Lee, was THE man back then.

x

That's not funny.