Chuck Norris (evolution)

[darkpenguin]

Who the heck is Chuck Norris?

[angellous_evangellous]

Now that's funny!

Most people know that Descarte said, "I think, therefore I am." What most people don't know is that that quote continues, "...afraid of Chuck Norris."

[MdmSzdWhtGuy]

Originally Posted by darkpenguin

Who the heck is Chuck Norris?

On the very slim chance that you are not taking a HUGE risk and joking about Chuck Norris and your alleged lack of knowledge thereof, besides being my father, your father, and everybody's father who was born more than a year after his birth, Chuck Norris is an American film star, who catapulted to fame in the 1980's by using his legitimate martial arts skills and rugged good looks into a film career.

He made a bunch of movies, all of which were action movies, most of which appeared to take longer to watch than to write, all of which were ultraviolent, and saw Chuck doing many larger than life things, such as taking on dozens if not hundreds of enemies and always ALWAYS coming out on top.

In recent years college humor and some other similar sites have begun printing legends about Chuck Norris' feats and such in a tradition similar to Paul Bunyon (an American folklore legend). These Chuck Norris facts have grown in popularity to the point where there are several websites with such information, and a google search of "legend of Chuck Norris" or "Chuck Norris facts" will show you a ton of hits for such things.

Now, if you didn't know that (which, frankly is hard to imagine) then I have done a bit to catch you up. If you already knew that stuff, which is much more likely as the information should be encoded into your genetic material since birth, then my breif dissertation was not needed, tho it was quite therapuetic, since I hate to go more than one or two days without writing something about Chuck Norris.

I will leave you with this startling statistic. Rolling Stone magazine recently reported that all women fantasize about Chuck Norris when they are having sex with their husbands. This was not reported as a source of marital discord, however, because a later study showed that their husbands were also thinking about Chuck Norris.

B.

[darkpenguin]

Yeah I looked him up on IMDB and to be honest the films I recognise are lame, I like a little more substance to my films!
I don't see what all the fuss is about!

[MdmSzdWhtGuy]

Originally Posted by darkpenguin

Yeah I looked him up on IMDB and to be honest the films I recognise are lame, I like a little more substance to my films!
I don't see what all the fuss is about!

It is probably a cultural thing. I really don't know how you could catch the joke of this whole thing without growing up on those lame movies.

B.

[Feathers in Hair]

Penguin, it can be helpful to think of it as creating a myth out of a man. (Please don't tell Mr. Norris this, but I've never been able to sit through anything with him in it.) The more profoundly exaggerated the statement about Chuck's strength or whatever attribute, the more fun it is!

[Shadow Wolf]

I don't see what all the fuss is about!

Just to have fun, at making some ridiculous, yet funny, statements, such as "Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door." I do know thier are Vin Desiel facts, but they are not as funny.

[MaddLlama]

Originally Posted by Luke Wolf

Just to have fun, at making some ridiculous, yet funny, statements, such as "Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door." I do know thier are Vin Desiel facts, but they are not as funny.

Pffft. To even try and conpare Chuck Norris with Vin Desiel is a rediculous idea. It's like comparing apples to roundhouse kicks.

[darkpenguin]

Originally Posted by Luke Wolf

Just to have fun, at making some ridiculous, yet funny, statements, such as "Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door." I do know thier are Vin Desiel facts, but they are not as funny.

Now those ones would be funny to hear lol!

[Shadow Wolf]

Now those ones would be funny to hear lol!

Thier not. One of them goes "When Vin Diesel masturbates, god kills a tiger." Why have that when you could have "The Fast in the Furious was originally a documentary about people trying to become better drivers so they could attempt to flee from Chuck Norris if he should ever come after them in his truck. The racing theme was added on later to try and make it less obvious they are scared of Chuck Norris."