wear a sign (evolve, America, service)

[tcprowling]

Number One Idiot of 2006:
>>> I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in toxicology at
>>> the poison control center.
>>> Today, this woman called in very upset because she caught her little
>>> daughter eating ants.
>>> I quickly reassured her that the ants are not harmful and there
>>> would be no need to bring her daughter into the hospital. She calmed
>>> down and at the end of the conversation happened to mention that she
>>> gave her daughter some ant poison to eat in order to kill the ants.
>>> I told her that she better bring her daughter into the emergency
>>> room right away.
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>> Here's your sign, lady. Wear it with pride.
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>>> Number Two Idiot of 2006:
>>> Early this year, some Boeing employees on the airfield decided to
>>> steal a life raft from one of the 747s. They were successful in getting
>>> it out of the plane and home.
>>> Shortly after they took it for a float on the river, they noticed a
>>> Coast Guard helicopter coming towards them.
>>> It turned out that the chopper was homing in on the emergency
>>> locator beacon that activated when the raft was inflated.
>>> They are no longer employed at Boeing.
>>>
>>> Here's your sign, guys. Don't get it wet; the paint might run.
>>>
>>> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>>> Number Three Idiot of 2006:
>>> A man, wanting to rob a downtown Bank of America, walked into the
>>> Branch and wrote this: "Put all your muny in this bag."
>>> While standing in line, waiting to give his note to the teller, he
>>> began to worry that someone had seen him write the note and might
>>> call the police before he reached the teller's window.
>>> So he left the Bank of America and crossed the street to the Wells
>>> Fargo Bank. After waiting a few minutes in line, he handed his note
>>> to the Wells Fargo teller. She read it and, surmising from his spelling
>>> errors that he wasn't the brightest light in the harbor, told him that
>>> she could not accept his stickup note because it was written on a Bank
>>> of
>
>>> America deposit slip, and that he would either have to fill out a Wells
>>> Fargo deposit slip or go back to Bank of America.
>>> Looking somewhat defeated, the man said, "OK" and left.
>>> He was arrested a few minutes later, as he was waiting in line back
>>> at Bank of America.
>>>
>>> Don't bother with this guy's sign. He probably couldn't read it anyway.
>>>
>>> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[tcprowling]

Number Four Idiot of 2006:
>>> A motorist was unknowingly caught in an automated speed trap that
>>> measured his speed using radar and photographed his car.
>>> He later received in the mail a ticket for $40 and a photo of his
>>> car.
>>> Instead of payment, he sent the police department a photograph of $40.
>>> Several days later, he received a letter from the police that
>>> contained another picture, this time of handcuffs.
>>> He immediately mailed in his $40.
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>> Wise guy........ but you still get a sign.
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>>> Number Five Idiot of 2006:
>>> A guy walked into a little corner store with a shotgun and demanded
>>> all of the cash from the cash drawer.
>>> After the cashier put the cash in a bag, the robber saw a bottle of
>>> Scotch that he wanted behind the counter on the shelf.
>>> He told the cashier to put it in the bag as well, but the cashier
>>> refused and said, "Because I don't believe you are over 21."
>>> The robber said he was, but the clerk still refused to give it to
>>> him
>
>>> because she didn't believe him.
>>> At this point, the robber took his driver's license out of his
>>> wallet
>
>>> and gave it to the clerk.
>>> The clerk looked it over and agreed that the man was in fact over 21
>>> and she put the Scotch in the bag.
>>> The robber then ran from the store with his loot.
>>> The cashier promptly called the police and gave the name and address
>>> of the robber that he got off the license.
>>> They arrested the robber two hours later.
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>> This guy definitely needs a sign.
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>>> Idiot Number Six of 2006:
>>> A pair of Michigan robbers entered a record shop nervously waving
>>> revolvers.
>>> The first one shouted, "Nobody move!" When his partner moved, the
>>> startled first bandit shot him.
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>> This guy doesn't even deserve a sign.

[ayani]

number one and number four are my faves.

[XAAX]

Those are great; I have one that fits the topic.

When I was living in Orlando Florida, I was working for a computer company. It was a company very similar to the size of a best buy, but all computer stuff. Anyway, I was assistant manager at the time so I got the call when this happened. Here is the story. A couple of guys got the Idea that they would rob the store. The way our parking lot was setup, there was only one opening for the entrance and exit. They waited till about 2:00 in the morning and decided to enter through the receiving doors in the back of the building. They took forever trying to get into the rolling doors with a crowbar.

The bad part was, that they had no idea that they had broken into an empty storage facility that the store wasn't even using. After taking as long as it had to get through the first rolling door, these geniuses decided to just break through the sheet rock walls into the store itself.

As soon as they broke through into the store it immediately set off all the alarms. Frantically these guys grabbed the closet merchandise to the hole that they had made and threw it into their car to make there get away...

This is the sad part.

Our store was less than a block from a Dunkin Donuts on a major road. The cops told me they were sitting there having coffee when they got the call. Ok, it gets worse...Since there was only one way in and out (surrounded by high walls all the way around it), the cops took their coffee and drove over and parked right in the opening. Ok, so far, just chalk it up to poor planning and stupidity.

The worst part was when I got there and had to reset the alarm and wait for the store manager, the police made me identify the stolen merchandise. I looked at the guys in the cruiser and actually felt bad for these idiots. The stuff that they stole was off of the RMA pallet that was being sent back to the company because it was all defective. Going to jail is one thing, but going because you stole a bunch of broken crap...

These guys are sign worthy...lol

[tcprowling]

I live in a semi-rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call
>>> the
>>> local township administrative office to request the removal of the Deer
>>> Crossing sign on our road.
>>> The reason: "Too many deer are being hit by cars out here!
>>> I don't think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore."
>>>
>>> From Kingman, Kansas
>>>
>>> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>>> IDIOTS IN FOOD SERVICE:
>>>
>>> My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco. She asked
>>> the person behind the counter for "minimal lettuce." He said he was
>>> sorry, but they only had iceberg.
>>> He was a Chef?
>>>
>>> Yep, From Kansas City!
>>>
>>> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>>> IDIOT SIGHTING:
>>>
>>> I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport
>>> employee asked, "Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your
>>> knowledge?
>>> To which I replied, "If it was without my knowledge, how would I
>>> know?"
>>> He smiled knowingly and nodded, "That's why we ask."
>>>
>>> Happened in Birmingham, Alabama
>>>