Old people's fart football (hell)

[mostly harmless]

"OLD PEOPLES FART FOOTBALL"

An old married couple no sooner hit the pillows when the old man
passes gas and says, "Seven Points."

His wife rolls over and says, "What in the world do you mean by that?" The
old man replied,
"It's fart football."

A few minutes later his wife lets one go and says "Touchdown, tie
score."

After about five minutes the old man lets another one go and says,
"Aha. I'm ahead 14 to 7."Not to be outdone the wife rips out another one and
says, "Touchdown,
tie score."
Five seconds go by and she lets out a little squeaker and says,
"Field goal, I lead 17 to 14." Now the pressure is on the old man.

He refuses to get beaten by a woman, so he strains real hard.
Since defeat is totally unacceptable, he gives it everything he's
got, and accidentally ***** the bed.

The wife says, "What the hell was that?"

The old man says, "Half time, switch sides