Fashion Police! (gospel, hell, Christ, unicorn, dragon)

!Fluffy! · #1 12-14-2006, 02:47 AM

From the Fashion Police at Us Magazine:

Emma Thompson:
TA: Nanny Mc-free her from this too-tight dress!
WILDER: Is it visiting day at the women’s county jail?
SKENE: It’s such a shame that coat doesn’t button.
CORREA: Pulling off this get-up is a bit of a, er, stretch.

Elle McPherson

WILDER: Warning: This outfit is still under construction.
MCDONALD: Note to self: Doilies and masking tape do not a good dress make.
LANDRY: Project Runway meets Cops.
LO: An example of why they call her The Body and not The Brain.
EISENBERG: I can’t tell if this is inside-out, backwards or just plain bad.
FEINSTEIN: With three more steps, she’ll be topless!

!Fluffy! · #2 12-14-2006, 02:50 AM

Natalie Portman (you know, from Star Wars?)
Leaving Groucho Club in London.
LANDRY: The black made her chic, but the smock puts her Closer to geek.
WILDER: Shame on Natalie for stealing a blanket right off the donkey’s back!
EISENBERG: V for Vagabond.
MCDONALD: Borrowed from Ugly Betty’s closet.
LOPEZ: Afterwards, she invited everyone over to her adobe hut.

!Fluffy! · #3 12-14-2006, 02:56 AM

Rebecca Romijn
At a fashion event in West Hollywood.
SKENE: Meet Hugh Hefner’s new lawyer.
MCDONALD: Boyfriend Jerry O’Connell’s a happy man. Underneath the dress, she’s a Playboy Bunny!
LO: Congratulations on being cast as the lead in March of the Penguins 2!
TA: What’s created in Vegas should stay in Vegas.

Cheryl Hines
At a March of Dimes event in Beverly Hills.
AHERN: The new spring collection from Bounty.
NOVIK: This dress takes her from doing household chores to karate class.

!Fluffy! · #4 12-14-2006, 02:58 AM

Susan Sarandon
At a cocktail party in NYC.
LANDRY: Styled by Rosie O’Donnell.
KEMBLE: The lumberjack look never really took off.
SCIUTTO: When in doubt, plaid is bad — unless you’re 12 or younger!
LANDRY: Paul Bunyan finally takes a bride!
DONOHUE: This explains why Tim won’t marry her.
SZISH: Starring in the all-female version of Grumpy Old Men.
AHERN: The cover of Hobo Weekly

!Fluffy! · #5 12-14-2006, 03:04 AM

Liza Minnelli
At a New York Fashion Week event.
RADE: Meet the newest professor at Hogwarts.
WOLF: Call Batman! Joker’s on the loose.
CAMPBELL: Hopefully, it’s a disappearing act.
SCIUTTO: Coming home from gospel choir practice.
KEMBLE: Is she now singing backup for Prince?

Dominic Monaghan
At the Lost Season 3 premiere in Honolulu.
WILDER: A little something he picked up at Dakota Fanning’s yard sale.
GOOD: Is he trying to create a new superhero called The Toddler?
KNOBLER: Later, Dominic traded his T-shirt for five glitter unicorn stickers!
EISENBERG: Lost: Charlie’s stylist.
LOPEZ: Hello, Kitty. Goodbye, self-esteem.

!Fluffy! · #6 12-14-2006, 03:10 AM

....and my favorite (drumroll, please)

.....

TA-DA!!

OMG it's Courtney Love!!!
Leaving club Hyde in West Hollywood.
EISENBERG: One of Courtney’s art projects during her stint in rehab.
SKENE: Quick! Throw it in a Hole!
MCDONALD: I’m guessing the bird flew into her at about 60 mph.
CORREA: Not even being pelted by tomatoes could ruin her evening.
TA: What happens when a pushup bra does its job a little too well.
GOOD: Good outfit if you’re going on a date with a dragonslayer

!Fluffy! · #7 12-14-2006, 05:57 AM

Jennifer Lopez
At a Ricky Martin tribute in NYC.
LOPEZ: From the new Jiffy Pop evening gown collection.
GOOD: Jennifer, Enough, already!
TA: J. Lo wants even more padding for her tush?! Jeez.
WILDER: So that’s what J. Lo uses all her old used Christmas wrapping paper for!
CORREA: Hey, isn’t that Big Bird’s red-feathered sister?!
KNOBLER: I didn’t think it was possible to be in anything worse than Gigli.

!Fluffy! · #8 12-14-2006, 06:01 AM

Poor Courtney Love...again!!
At a movie premiere in Hollywood.
LO: An imminent double wardrobe malfunction.
AHERN: Alfalfa from The Little Rascals inspired her hairstyle for the event.
WOLF: One more bad habit Courtney needs to kick? Putting together outfits on her own.
BRICKLEY: If this is what sober looks like, I’ll stick with the alcohol.
DONOHUE: The value of gold just plummeted.

!Fluffy! · #9 12-14-2006, 06:06 AM

Milla Jovovich
EISENBERG: Lesson No. 1 in fashion:
No dress should come with drapes.
GOOD: The line between lingerie
and eveningwear has now officially
been crossed.
WILDER: Isn’t the slip supposed to be shorter than the dress?
MCDONALD: Milla’s stylist is the new Resident Evil.
SKENE: Already campaigning for a spot on next season’s Dancing With the Stars.