Make your own "I am Canadian" ad, for your own region! (Earth, God)

[Djamila]

Make your own, share it here.

Okay, here's my attempt...

Selam
I'm not a terrorist,
and I don't share my husband with half a dozen other wives.
I don't eat lamb heads or cow intestines,
That rubbish is all a Christian delicacy, they love it.
I don't own a white Volkswagon Golf,
But I did, three times, and I do have a tram pass sewn into the cover of my purse.
I don't wear 5 lbs of make-up,
at least not on weekdays.
I don't know Slobodan Milosevic, Radovan Karadzic, Naser Oric, or Ratko Mladic,
but I watch live coverage of the war crimes tribunal at the Hague every Thursday.
I got a Chief Mullah named Mustafa Ceric,
He keeps telling us we should wear hijab,
Not sure what hijab is exactly,
But I'll be ****ed ten times in the *** before I wear one cuz some man said to.
I ain't the girl in the Mujo jokes,
But I laugh every time I hear one.
I don't do a belly dance every time I hear Islamic turbofolk,
But I will download the karaoke version of Greek songs to avoid the Christian lyrics.
I'm still ****** off at France,
For sending Eugene Savoy to burn Sarajevo to the ground in 1670.
And even though she ain't really a Bosniak,
I think Selma Bajrami is the best damn Bosniak ever.
Bosnia is the most beautiful country in Europe,
And Croatia can kiss our Dinaric backsides,
And even though I had to flee for my life to get away from it,
By God and Tito,
I still think Bosnia is the best dang country in Europe.
My name is Muhamedina Hadzihasanomerpetrobegovic,
and I am a Bosnjakinja!

[Gentoo]

I have this as an away message that I hardly ever use. And though I live in Maine now, I grew up in Massachusetts

I don't pronounce my R's.
I call a garbage can a barrel, a liquor store a packie, a water fountain a bubbla, a milkshake a frappe.
I root for a team who has not won a World Series since 1918.
I say Larry Bird is the greatest basketball player. Ted Williams, the greatest hitter.
To me any place west of Rte. 128 is the boonies and Cape Cod is a little piece of Heaven down here on Earth.
The best thing on a summer night is Fenway Franks off the grill.
I ride on the T.
I know better than to swim in the Charles River, but I do love that Dirty Water.
I yell YANKEES SUCK when the Red Sox are playing the Tigers. I

am a Bostonian and I'm WICKED proud of it!

Of course, now that I read it again, it is a little outdated

[Circle_One]

Heh, there's already one for my region and it actually mentions things pertaining only to Montreal, so I don't need to make one

[Draka]

I’m from Iowa,
The Midwest of the United States.
This is the “Corn State”
Not potatoes…that’s Idaho.
There’s corn everywhere,
But I don’t grow it.
The closest I’ve ever been to a cow, pig or chicken,
Has been on my dinner plate.
I’ve never been on a farm in my life.
We do not all listen to country music,
In fact I like rock, R&B and rap.
We are not hillbillies or uneducated,
We have one of the top education systems of any state.
We have cities,
That’s right…cities.
This is not all flat farmland,
There are lots of rolling hills and beautiful scenery.
I am Iowan.