Your Embarrassing Moments (Ramadan, mystic, beliefs, elder, churches)

[Djamila]

What are some of the most embarrassing things you've ever done, that you're willing to share?

The main one that comes to mind for me is infamous at my mosque. I went to Ramadan prayers and the mosque was blocked, I couldn't get inside. So I was standing outside in the courtyard with a thousand other devout Muslims, holding my hands in front of me and praying. I was rocking back and forth on my heels a little bit when one of them snapped and I fell flat on my bottom in the middle of the courtyard.

The thing is, on my way down I yelled out the first curse that always comes to my mind when I'm cursing from surprise, which is rather unfortunate. "THERE IS NO GOD!" There are women there who still turn their faces away from me when I go.

Okay, other one. I was in the slasticarnica buying a strawberry milkshake and I saw Eva out in the street, so I ran to meet her and walked right into the glass window. But wait, that's not all - never is with me. I crushed my strawberry milkshake between myself and the glass, so all Eva saw was me running and then vanishing in this giant pink explosion.

I once said my gymnastics teacher was a pervert and I'm sure he's a paedophile with his creepy eyes, while he was standing RIGHT behind me.

And many times I've gone out in public with my grandmother.

That's it for me. Please share some of your own, lets laugh!

[Djamila]

Oh the worst one! When Eva got married, I was her patron of honor. So I invited her parents and her siblings to come to my grandmother's house in Kozarac, in northern Bosnia. They were very excited because they love the rural areas, and Nena was excited to have a crowd to cook for. But now, my Grandmother is a relic from another time.

I drove with Eva's family to Kozarac, and when we stepped inside the house, I don't know if they noticed because they'd never been there before... but Nena had taken down most of the family photos and hidden all the valuables in the house. I was HORRIFIED! I turned so red they actually asked what was wrong. But the day went fine.

[Hacker]

Okay, I think I have a good one

I used to work as a waitress at a resturant(about ten years ago) and there are always two waiters/ or waitress that are required to stay till the resturant closes which means that there is MORE clean up responsibilites. I had a huge crush on one of the waiters, and I think he knew... Anyhow, him and I happened to be closing the store which means one of us would have to clean the Sundae machine and the other was required to vaccum the whole floor but we were able to choose what we preferred to do it was up to us, not the manager( let alone the mandatory clean up we all have like stocking etc). Well, LOLLLL, he approached me and asked, "So what do you want to do tonight?"(thinking he was asking me out) STUPID ME says, "I don't have any plans what are you doing?"(I feel like I'm getting red again as I type this), and he said, "No silly do you want to sweep the floor or clean the Sundae machine?" I was SOOOOOOOOOOO embarassed! I'm embarassed right now!

[Scuba Pete]

I might have shared this...

I was taking a French class (easy "A") in one of the engineering buildings during January '77. It was cold out, even to freezing. As I got to the top of the stairs (outside) I saw a tiny snake (8 inches or so). I think it was black racer, but I really can't remember. Anyway, I felt bad for the thing and I didn't have time to get it into the forest area below, so I stuffed it in my shirt pocket and went into class.

Now, I belonged to the most controversial church on campus (and among the churches of Christ) at the time, and was quite active in sharing my faith in all of my classes. So about 40 minutes into the class, the professor asks me some question when BOING... the now warmed up snake pops out of my shirt pocket onto the floor. The class scatters as I swipe the snake up and stuff him BACK into my pocket. The room is so silent you could hear a snake hiss.

The professor called the class for the day and asked to see me afterwards. We had a good laugh when he found out the snake was not poisonous and not a part of my beliefs. No one ever agreed to come to church with me out of that class after that.

[MysticSang'ha]

Sorry, I am the queen of embarrassment. I am constantly being humbled into a state of red-faced laughter:

* When I was in my first year of college, I tripped over a squirrel while flashing a flirtatious smile to a cute guy on campus. NOBODY trips on squirrels, but I managed to.

* Very early one morning, my ex and I hopped into his blue truck to pick his father up 30 minutes away. We wanted to stop by a convenience store to pick up some iced tea. I was in the passenger seat, so I volunteered to go into the store to get some tea. I come out, still quite tired, and got into the blue truck. Unfortunately, I got into the wrong blue truck where this elderly man smiled at me from the driver's seat and said, "Sweetheart, it looks like you got the wrong truck!" I was mortified, and my ex never let me live that moment down.

* Once while performing a dancer, I had a wardrobe malfunction in front of a couple thousand people. It involved a moment where I flipped a flag up that caught my skirt and flipped that up, too. But then the skirt just stayed up. AND.........after that movement the choreography had me go into a moment of stillness where I couldn't move. I had to stay there with my skirt up to my waist, and my trunks had shifted over so that half my butt was hanging out.

* As a waitress, I hold the most records for spilling drinks on people, tripping over power cords and falling flat on my face, and this story:
One table I was serving had four very good looking men, so I put on my best smile, and proceeded to flirt gratuitously with them. I got their drink orders, said, "I'll be right back with the drinks for these gorgeous fellas..........." turned to walk to the bar, and ran smack into a support beam. I got a nosebleed, too, but that didn't stop everyone laughing their a**es off - including me.

* My daughter at age 2-3 loved to point out the anatomical difference between men and women. I learned very quickly not to bring her shopping with me at those ages because she'd always say loudly, "Mommy, LOOK! That's a MAN! And he has a (insert word here)!!!!"

* My hair has gotten caught in nets, handles, and knobs, and all have caused me to yank my head back when I'm unaware that my hair is caught. Sure, extra long hair is pretty, but those moments really make me want to grab my hubbie's razor and go Sinead O'Connor on it.

Those are only the beginning. I could fill pages of this stuff. My mother already knew that I'd be the embarrassment of the family when as a baby and toddler I'd rip my clothes off and run naked around perfect strangers and giggle when they'd laugh or turn red from horror at my kindred spirit.

Peace,
Mystic

[Djamila]

Hahaha, Mystic! Oh wow! You remind me of myself in some ways. I do a lot of stupid things also, but they're... they're more fate than anything, and they're not the same (like always being clumsy).

I remember once I went to work with different shoes on. I have a private expression for my husband that is my way of saying thank you that is obscenely sexual. It basically is like: "You can X to me anytime", and we both laugh.

I once accidentally said it to a cashier at a gas station.

I once was ordering tickets to a movie from the booth, and when I'd paid them, I turned around to leave and hit a todler in the face so hard with my knee I made his mouth bleed.

I tend to eat very... not very formally, lets say. I suppose it's a remnant from the war. I once had my husband say to me, in front of many people: Calm down, darling. No one's going to take your plate from you.

[evearael]

I was at Saturday morning services at the synagogue and I started to feel a bit light headed saying Aleinu. I fainted and went over the pew in front of me in front of the whole congregation. I woke up with paramedics over me...

I was at my house with my sister, pulling wall scrolls down to give her. I climbed on top of the dresser and handed the scroll down to her. She asked if I needed help getting down, to which I replied, "No. I'm a capable, independent housewife!" and then screamed as I lost my balance and fell into a laundry basket. My sister had tears pouring down her face from laughing so hard...