Woman Ownership Tips

[Kilgore Trout]

As the owner of a woman, if you're anything like me, it took you awhile to figure out the best strategies for handling your woman, training her correctly, and disciplining her when needed. Of course, we all enjoy brushing and feeding our women, but keeping a woman is not all sunshine and rainbows!

What are some strategies and solutions you've come up with which have made woman-ownership easier and more enjoyable? Also, what type of food recommendations do you have to keep their skin and hair healthy and shiny?

One thing I figured out a long time ago, was as soon as you wrangle up a new woman, be sure to brand her immediately. If your woman happens to wander off, you don't want her getting picked up by some other guy who thinks she's available. The rear-end is a good spot to place the brand.

[Revoltingest]

It helps to understand the control system for a woman. Her cranium is not filled with a brain, as opposed to the male's. The woman has only the right
hemisphere of a brain, with the other side filled with some components not found in the male. There is a hormone pump which feeds her brain in
parallel with a random input generators for both feelings thoughts. There is a sensory input organ which takes inputs from eyes, ears & skin, & feeds
the random input generators, & also receives feedback from the half-brain output. I'd draw a control diagram, but it would be too disturbing.

[ssainhu]

I own myself, does that count?

[Revoltingest]

Originally Posted by ssainhu

I own myself, does that count?

That would be as absurd as saying a tea kettle owns itself.

[Draka]

My owner is nice.
My owner let's me type on this thinga-ma-bob.
I cook meals for my owner and he even lets me decide what to cook.
My owner pets me. I like it.

[Iti oj]

i tried owning a woman once i decided to set her free. she decided to stick around and keep me happy anyways. now i don't have to do anything she does so on her own accord =D

[Revoltingest]

Originally Posted by Iti oj

i tried owning a woman once i decided to set her free. she decided to stick around and keep me happy anyways. now i don't have to do anything she does so on her own accord =D

Free range women do have their charms.

[Viker]

I keep breaking my women and they won't take them back for an exchange down at the woman depot. I can't even get a refund. I'd like to know where I could get a woman to own for cheap and if she breaks on me I can trade her in or get my money back.

[Revoltingest]

Originally Posted by Viker

I keep breaking my women and they won't take them back for an exchange down at the woman depot. I can't even get a refund. I'd like to know where I could get a woman to own for cheap and if she breaks on me I can trade her in or get my money back.

Ownership is over-rated.....try renting.
I recommend getting a heavy duty model.

[Viker]

Originally Posted by Revoltingest

Ownership is over-rated.....try renting.
I recommend getting a heavy duty model.

So, that would mean renting a Latin woman? I'll look into that.