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#1
03-24-2005, 01:18 PM
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These are Hilarious
In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods:
- On Sears hair dryer: Do not use while sleeping. - On a bar of Dial soap: Directions: Use like regular soap. - On a hotel-provided shower cap in a box: Fits one head. - On Marks and Spencer Bread Pudding: Product will be hot after heating - On packaging for a Rowenta Iron: Do not iron clothes on body - On Boot's CHILDREN's Cough Medicine Do not drive car or operate machinery - On a kitchen knife: Warning: Keep out of children. - On a string of Christmas lights: For indoor or outdoor use only. - On a food processor: Not to be used for the other use. - On Sainsbury's Peanuts Warning: contains nuts - On an American Airlines packet of nuts: Instructions: open packet, eat nuts. - On a chainsaw: Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.
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Proud mommy to Grace Meriah (3) and Rachel Victoria (1) and "with child" again! 
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#2
03-24-2005, 01:38 PM
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 HERE'S YOUR SIGN
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good night, sleep tight, and don't let the bedbugs put their foot in your....
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#3
03-24-2005, 02:22 PM
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What makes them so funny is that these are actual labels.
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#4
03-24-2005, 02:41 PM
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Civilization has clearly reached its nadir -- we're doomed!
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#5
03-24-2005, 02:55 PM
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The scariest thing I've ever read of this sort was in a first aid instruction manual. It had an explanation of CPR, and everything was orderly and logical, but when I looked in the margin, there was a little box, saying "Please note: do not attempt CPR or resussitation (sp?) if person has been decapitated or if rigor mortis has set in."
The first one really frightened me, since I'm not sure if they'd have put that in there if someone had not tried it at some point.
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#6
03-24-2005, 04:05 PM
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These are Hilarious
Quote:
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My life is an open book; if you don't like the read, put me back on the shelf ....................
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#7
03-24-2005, 04:15 PM
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I've felt ribs crack several times whilst performing CPR, Michel. During a cardiopulmonary arrest the integrity of a patient's ribcage is not your highest priority.
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#8
03-24-2005, 04:43 PM
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"You are now leaving the Asylum!"
 Everyone should read Douglass Adams' "So Long and Thanks for All the Fish" to understand this.
__________________
On sabbatical until things become fun again.
Reach me at NetDoc@ScubaBoard.com or on www.ScubaBoard.com. Last edited by NetDoc; 03-24-2005 at 04:45 PM.
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#9
03-24-2005, 04:44 PM
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Feathers,
People have tried to resuscitate long dead people. The stress can also cause them to go into cardiac arrest.
__________________
On sabbatical until things become fun again.
Reach me at NetDoc@ScubaBoard.com or on www.ScubaBoard.com.
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#10
03-24-2005, 08:09 PM
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...Mad Brain Surgeon!...
