Parenting and Children Questions

[DallasApple]

Originally Posted by Willamena

Sorry. It wasn't intended sarcastically, or anything. It's just that you say you don't even have kids, and yet you have all this figured out like a plan in advance. That's impressive.

Some who are already parents haven't figured as much.

YEP..many parents have the "do as I say not as I do" idea for their kids..they also dont "plan" on their kids doing stuff that not only do you not do and you said not to they do it anyway.

Or you didnt even bother to tell them not to because you never imagined (planned) they might do that.

You just never know.Just dont put it past them..they are full of surprises I know that much.

Love

Dallas

[ContentiusMaximus]

You gotta beat your kids!!

*raised the old school European way*

[Saint Tigeress]

Originally Posted by Willamena

Sorry. It wasn't intended sarcastically, or anything. It's just that you say you don't even have kids, and yet you have all this figured out like a plan in advance. That's impressive.

Some who are already parents haven't figured as much.

I am so sorry. I don't know what was going on with me this last week. I worked Mon-Fri and I was going crazy at the time. I should have known you didn't mean that in a negative way. I was throwing up my guard all week to everyone without good reason.

[Saint Tigeress]

I plan on my kids doing everything I did. If I marry my sweetie I plan on them doing everything he did. He loved illegal drugs. I don't have an addictive personality. I could experiment with them and then walk away and never touch them agian unless it was a special occasion. My sweetie has had to lock himself in his house and go through withdrawals for over a month before. I respect his ability to overcome addiction, but at the same time addiction is a weakness he has that I do not. So I fully expect my kids to experience that if I were to marry him.

I lost my viginity at 15, him at 17. He said he remembers kids selling drugs and doing drugs in elementary school. These were the hard kids from the bad neighborhoods who grew up with thier family members selling drugs. My sweetie said he was introduced to everything in 6th grade. He remembers kids beginning to have sex in 6th grade.

I expect all this to be the same or worse when I have kids, and if there is a way I plan to work with it instead of agianst it, for thier benefit. I won't try to hide them from it. In fact I want them to be thrown right into the fire, but with an understanding of exactly what is going on around them, what the consequences AND benefits are, and especially how to be safe.

When I say consequences and benefits, example:

Smoking weed helps you relax. It helps you in some social situations where everyone else is smoking. If you decline they will think you are a nark. If you sell it you will make a lot of money real fast. It takes a while before you can decline without being suspected.

If you smoke you will hopefully reach the conclusion I did and decide it makes you feel dumb. It's painful. You can feel your IQ dropping. If you use it once in a social situation, or to relax, you'll depend on it to be social and to relax. (Dependance is bad). Then you'll need it for more situations in order to function, like to work and to make it through the day at school. Then you are going to be working your p.o.s. high school job flipping burgers just to cover your smoking habit. You'll have no money, you'll have no cool stuff, you'll look like crap all the time. You'll never get laid cause you're always broke and you have nothing. Then it will never change cause your grades go all to hell cause you were stoned every day at school and you won't go to college cause you've gotten so lazy and fat having the munchies all the time. You'll be an adult loser with no money, no hot wife or husband, and just a bag to your name.

LOLOLOLOL

When I was in 10th grade I was having a hard time with school. I thought it was completely pointless, and I was burned out on it. I was rebelling pretty hard too. All I wanted to do was hang out with my friends. My dad finally got through to me, and this was how he did it.

He asked me why I was not doing what I was supposed to be in school. I said something I dunno, and he deduced,

"You don't want to."

I said, "Why should I want to?"

He said, "I won't be here forever. You are going to have to take care of yourself by yourself. I am giving you this house we are about to pay off. If you cannot go to college you will never get a job you enjoy, where you can make enough money to take care of yourself. You will lose this house. You will lose your car. You will never be able to buy yourself anything... if you do not deal with high school and get accepted into a college. You have to do this so you can get a job where you can not kill yourself and make enought money to live."

Then it clicked.

I don't want to do this. This right now is stupid. But I have to do this stupid boring crap and do it well in order to get what I want later....

I want to teach my children from this perspective from the beginning. School is just so llloooonnnngggg. It's takes up a major part of a kids childhood, and it's easy to lose sight of it's end and why you are REALLY there. Plus half of the material you truly are never going to use.

One professor explained that to me very well too.

When my children ask why they are learning about the anatomy of a sea urchin when they want to be doctors and learn about the anatomy of humans, I will tell them,

because when you are done with your education, completing all this stuff that you are never going to use proves to the world that you are able to be taught, and not only that but that you are able to be taught things you have no interest in once so ever. If you can show that you are able to be taught, you can do anything you want to do.