Who are you really?

[Heneni]

Do you sometimes feel that the 'you' that people see and the 'you' that you see is different?

How does that affect you? Does it frustrate you? Is there something to be learnt from it?

heneni

[LuisDantas]

Originally Posted by Heneni

Do you sometimes feel that the 'you' that people see and the 'you' that you see is different?

Sure. It varies a lot, and is more troubling when the people involved should know better.

How does that affect you? Does it frustrate you?

Quite a lot.

Is there something to be learnt from it?

Lots. The main lesson is perhaps that we should love people, but not expect them to truly understand us. Another important lesson is that a certain degree of authonomy and even rebellion is needed in order to respect others.

[Heneni]

Originally Posted by LuisDantas

Sure. It varies a lot, and is more troubling when the people involved should know better.

Sometimes the people that are around us often dont really know us. I wonder if that is because we dont trust them enough to open up, or because we just naturally hide out of fear.

[Heneni]

Or perhaps they are just not interested in getting to know me/you/us.

[LuisDantas]

My greatest mistake in life was assuming that a few people that were with me all the time knew at least the basics of who I was, Heneni.

Therefore, I can assure you that in that case at least it was indeed a lack of interest in knowning me. Probably more of an active desire not to know me, even.

I am still shocked that such a thing can happen, but it clearly did.

[Heneni]

Im sorry to hear that.

In my case i felt like an orphan in my own home. I didnt really understand why nobody was paying any attention to me. It can be hard on a kid.

I think that we are is suppose to be beautiful to others. And when nobody seems to wanna get to know you as a person, we feel disconnected even lonely.

There are people who really go out of their way to shove you out, make you look like an ***, and basically all it is, is their own insecurities.

We do in some way hold out a mirror to those around us, and if the feedback is poor we feel less worthy and less valued.

I suppose the lesson to be learnt then, is to put the mirror down?

[doppelgänger]

I'm pretty sure I'm a very different person to every one with whom I interact. Heck, I'm a different person to myself from one day to the next.

[Heneni]

Originally Posted by doppelgänger

I'm pretty sure I'm a very different person to every one with whom I interact. Heck, I'm a different person to myself from one day to the next.

Just for one post be the same nice guy again. OK? You making me dizzy.

[LuisDantas]

Originally Posted by Heneni

We do in some way hold out a mirror to those around us, and if the feedback is poor we feel less worthy and less valued.

I suppose the lesson to be learnt then, is to put the mirror down?

That, and to accept that we should validate ourselves in some degree.

I think that's what is usually called "coming of age". Good luck with your, Heneni. It's such a delicate and beautiful proccess.