Guys like bad girls...

[doppelgänger]

Originally Posted by Heneni

Im thinking that a mans sex drive is something that he is born with. A womens sex drive in a way is something that is cultivated.

Or perhaps a woman's sex drive is there naturally, but societal factors tend much more to focus on teaching girls and young women to repress their sexuality compared to men, requiring it to be "cultivated" back out from under guilt, embarrassment and shame in order for some women to feel more naturally human and healthy.

[Sunstone]

The neurochemical that makes both men and women horny is free (or unbonded) testosterone. That's only 5% of the total testosterone in your body, but it can sure make things exciting.

At anyrate, the lowest testosterone male has more than 20 times the free testosterone in his body than the highest testosterone female.

[England my lionheart]

Originally Posted by Heneni

......but will he make her his wife?

What a man wants and what a man needs are sometimes two different things. Men are pleased to marry a women who can take care of the kids, take home to his mother and they get along, run the domestics and keep the bills paid.

Some men marry girls who can do the above, but they desire to get down and dirty with a 'bad' girl because soon after marriage his wife becomes less sexually appealing, because of various reasons.

I dont want to discuss the morality of this. Neither do i want to quib about what is a bad girl and what is a good girl. You all know what i mean.

How can a good women keep her husband interested? Why do men start looking around?

Heneni

I think the reason a Man or a Woman start looking around it is'nt always because there is a problem,some people are more flirtatious than others and do not deliberately set out to look around.
I had a girlfreind who was a"bad girl" or thought she was and she used to dress like Madonna and was quite sexy and liked to party drink and snort charly but i think all Women have a bad girl side.

[Alceste]

Originally Posted by Heneni

Im thinking that a mans sex drive is something that he is born with. A womens sex drive in a way is something that is cultivated.

There might be something to that, but I think we're on our way down a dark, bitter and unfulfilling road when we decide it's our partner's job to do the cultivating, and not our own.

[Alceste]

Originally Posted by Sunstone

I profoundly agree with you here, Alceste. Women who have interests and accomplishments apart from me -- who have a life of their own -- are extraordinarily appealing to me. I put it down to being raised by an executive (my mother) who had a very successful career in addition to being an extremely good mother. I think she might to some extent be my model for that. To this day, when I encounter that kind of competence in a woman, it's almost guaranteed to make me fall in love, and stay in love.

I don't think you're alone there. A whole person is always more appealing than a half-person to most men and women. I think the oft-repeated complaint about partners being "too clingy" boils down to the loss of self that often occurs in a relationship, and people who think their partner's job is to fill some empty space in themselves (metaphorically, I mean ) are rarely satisfied.

[Heneni]

Originally Posted by Alceste

There might be something to that, but I think we're on our way down a dark, bitter and unfulfilling road when we decide it's our partner's job to do the cultivating, and not our own.

Sure some women need to be cranked up you know...i can understand how that can be frustrating for a partner who wants to get it quick and easy.

I dont like having to crank my partner up. I want to say 'i want you' and that must be the start of it. Having said that, it probably means i have been thinking about getting him naked for more than three seconds, probably during the whole day. A women often needs to be given little suggestions to be aroused. Thats what i mean when i say her sex drive has be cultivated.

Maybe that is why men start looking around, at some stage the women gets bogged down with so many domestic issues that she hardly has time to put her mind on intimacy. My brother made sure his wife does as little domestic stuff as possible, handled all the finance, and arranged for house cleaning. All she had to do was be a good mommy and cook. Not clean not run around barefoot and pregnant. Some guys can afford it. Thats probably why women dont mind having a husband with some money. Financial security can take the drag out of domestic issues and leave her free to focus on her partner. There is also an increasing amount of women who become the bread winners, that must be hard on their sex life.

Heneni

[Alceste]

Originally Posted by Heneni

Sure some women need to be cranked up you know...i can understand how that can be frustrating for a partner who wants to get it quick and easy.

I need cranking myself, but it works best when I crank myself up rather than waiting around for my partner to do it.

I dont like having to crank my partner up. I want to say 'i want you' and that must be the start of it.

Neither do I. It really sucks to get myself all wound up to the point I can say "I want you" and then have my partner say "I'm not in the mood..." I feel like that means I have to all do the work for both of us.

Maybe that is why men start looking around, at some stage the women gets bogged down with so many domestic issues that she hardly has time to put her mind on intimacy. My brother made sure his wife does as little domestic stuff as possible, handled all the finance, and arranged for house cleaning. All she had to do was be a good mommy and cook. Not clean not run around barefoot and pregnant. Some guys can afford it. Thats probably why women dont mind having a husband with some money. Financial security can take the drag out of domestic issues and leave her free to focus on her partner. There is also an increasing amount of women who become the bread winners, that must be hard on their sex life.

Heneni

That's a pretty good point, but as was mentioned before, both men and women start looking around if they're not getting what they need out of a relationship. I know I do.

[Heneni]

You know what they say. Good girls go to heaven, bad girls go everywhere.

Hands up who wants to go everywhere?....................I THOUGH SO!

Who wants to go to heaven? *deadly silence*

The grass isnt greener on the other side. Not always...it still has to be mowed.



Heneni

[3.14]

girl are all good some are just a bit more cheeky and naughty then others
cheecky gets borred naughty stays fun