Do/should exes hang out???

[stacey bo bacey]

I just got done hanging out with my friend Shari. She's easily the most unique and out there person I've ever met and I love hanging out with her. She is just awesome.

Shari also happens to be the girl my first boyfriend dated after me. And me and that guy don't even talk anymore. We were friends after we broke up and even while he and Shari dated and after they broke up, but about a year after that, it just got to be too much. One big thing set it off (long story of course) and I told him to get out of my life.

Of course I didn't always like her....but it was inevitable that our paths crossed. I really liked her as a person, just not how she came into my life.

She lives in VA Beach but has friends in Northern VA where I live. So when she comes to see them she drives 30-40 minutes from Arlington to come chill with me.

Is this normal? We get along very well. Her and said guy are still very good friends. That doesn't bother me because I do not want him in my life. I'm just curious if anyone else has ever had this happen?

[Circle_One]

Yeah, it's completely normal. Not everyone would be mature enough to pull it off, but I'm friends with a lot of the girlfriends/ex girlfriends of my ex boyfriends. Kudos to you for being mature enough to not let something as little as that stand in the way of being friends with someone you enjoy hanging out with.

[stacey bo bacey]

Originally Posted by Circle_One

Yeah, it's completely normal. Not everyone would be mature enough to pull it off, but I'm friends with a lot of the girlfriends/ex girlfriends of my ex boyfriends. Kudos to you for being mature enough to not let something as little as that stand in the way of being friends with someone you enjoy hanging out with.

Phew, ok! I'm glad to know that. Thanks so much.

[stacey bo bacey]

Also, I really wanted to ask this because all of my friends look at me like I'm a crazy person when I say I'm going to hang out with her. They're like "Exes don't do that..." And I'm like "But, but..she's cool! And we have fun!"

Shows how much my friends know.

[Circle_One]

I would think it would just be pettyness preventing anyone from hanging out with someone they wanted to hang out with, just because they were an ex's ex, or current partner.

A friend should be considered because of their friend status, not their ex status.

[stacey bo bacey]

Originally Posted by Circle_One

I would think it would just be pettyness preventing anyone from hanging out with someone they wanted to hang out with, just because they were an ex's ex, or current partner.

A friend should be considered because of their friend status, not their ex status.

Good point!

He did do stuff with her while he was still with me, but she didn't know that. I realized I never hated her for that, though, just him. It's just odd to me how easy it was to not hate her. That's the way it should be, I think. It wasn't her fault.

Anyways, yay!! I'm not a freak!

[Comet]

Take this advice from the guy you gave frubalds to for having his ex-girlfriend's best friend living with him.... (till tomorrow!!!!!!!! )

My ex-wife once tried to make me break ties with people in my life, luckly they are still people I still have in my life! I once had an argument with my dad about my ex-stepmom too....

The point of the matter is this:

I am old enough to pick and choose my own relationships! I can decide who is good for me and my life, I can decide who is not good for it, etc.....

Thus, I still talk to my ex-stepmom and I can talk to my ex's bestfriend.... but it isn't good for him to live with me.

Stacey.... If this person is good for you and good to you.... then you should not stop your relationship with them! If this person is bad for you and your life, then despite what others say, you need to end it. If they are good in your life, then listen not to others you are done with.... If they are good and others in your life are still good, then have that talk I did with my dad when he and my ex-step mom divorced after 20 years of marriage: "She is a part of my life as she was of yours. Like it or not, they are still in my life as I am old enough to pick and choose who I have relations with....."

Best of luck

[FyreBrigidIce]

I say ti is fine for you to hang out with her. Especially if neither of discuss him constantly. I'm not saying to not talk about him at all but keep it minimum and not excesive because that is unhealthy.

[Stellify]

I became very good friends with my ex-fiance's ex-girlfriend who he had dated on and off for two or three years right before he met me. After I left him, she and I remained really good friends even though he tried getting back together with her. He is more or less completely out of both of our lives now and we are still close. I would never want to give her up as a friend. She's an amazing person and we have so much fun together
I agree with the earlier post- you should be friends with someone because of their friend status, not their ex status.
I'm also still friends with my ex-stepmother and her entire family