To improve your marriage - STOP talking!

[DallasApple]

Boys and men, however, need to pull away. A man's greatest suffering, Stosny says, comes from the shame he feels when he doesn't measure up -- which is why discussing relationship problems (i.e., what he's doing wrong) offers about as much comfort as sleeping on a bed of nails

O.K I also see this as one sided...

I havent met a woman yet..that didnt feel the same way about her husband critisizing her..So what if the man is the one that critisizies her ???...And that is what she wants to discuss??..Why is it put on the women then to shut up so he doesnt feel "threatened" by her dissapointiment in his critisizms of her???..For threat that he may withdraw?

This is not fair..Its completed one sided..Lets just say your husband is doing something that makes you feel that YOU dont measure up..(her deepest suffering)...According to this article..the way I read it her hands are tied because she might make him "suffer" by letting him know what he is doing makes her feel inadequate and he can say ?Im a cave man and that makes me suffer that I made you feel that way and you are verbalizing it.. ...Im going in my cave with glazed over eyes because Im a man....and you dont think I measure up!

According to this the man is the only one with the freedom to point out any dissapointments in her..Why??..Because she can then just absorb it..shut up and have sex?

Because men in FACT can be critcal and snarky at their wives..And they can in fact voice complaints that make her feel she doesnt measure up in his eyes...Why is she the only one being sugested in this aricle to tip toe around his tulips ????

How about this..everybody men and women shut up and go in their own cave..And every now in then come out to have sex and then return back to individual caves...

Love

Dallas

[UltraViolet]

Originally Posted by DallasApple

How about this..everybody men and women shut up and go in their own cave..And every now in then come out to have sex and then return back to individual caves...

Excellent. But only when the woman wants sex.

[DallasApple]

Originally Posted by UltraViolet

Excellent. But only when the woman wants sex.

Exactly!

Cuz he is going to live in a cave anyway...why worry about "terrorizing him" with rejection over sex...just have your way with him and send him back to his cave till you want some more....

The women can stay in there caves and YAP and YAP all they want without scaring anybody..Including they can complain about what a lousy lay the cave men are!!!

The cave men couldnt do a darn thing about it...Because we have the power of sex and we can drag them around by their itty bitty marbles!!!They will do exactly what we say...I promise...

Of course we WOULD have to have our own army and defense teams..To gaurd our caves with a military might so far never matched!!!..The cave men would come aroudn trying to sneak some sex uninvited no doubt!

But we could out smart them .... (because we speak language in verbal ways)So we are superior...

Love

Dallas

[DallasApple]

DOUBLE MINDED!!!

DOUBLE MINDED I SAY!!!!

How many times..HOW MANY TMES!!!!!! Have you heard men complain that "women expect men to read their minds"?????

Its a classic ...running JOKE amongst men!!!

But here we are being advised by Stoned Lover to SHUT UP so he wont "wtihdraw into a cave"!!!

Which one is it!!!

And I'll telll you...the women who are "stifled" ..sure they can hold it in..they can shut up...So they arent punished by the cave man hiding from her...

But you know who those women are???..They are the ones that walk in one day..after 15-20-25 years of marriage and say.....I dont feel any love for you anymore..I havent for years..I'm getting a divorce....

And the man is CLUELESS...He thought "sure we have some problems on occcasion but I THOUGHT WE WERE HAPPY!!"....

Sure..I do remember her having some complaints and suggesting therapy ...But after that I think I glazed my eyes over and hid in my cave...She NEVER told me she was so unhappy!!!

How about the fact women are fast approaching men in the adultery dept????

So sure she will shut up...But she will find a fresh cave man that seems to be interested in whats going on up thier in her little noggin...Not just whats at the other end...

Telling a woman she has to shut up or he will withdraw will possibly drive her away..Because she in fact has needs too...And one of those needs is to express dissapointment (if there is any) without having to be under threat he will hide from her...untill she is ready to put out again to make him feel secure...

I had no idea the burdon of what they meant by "helpmeet"..Its not "helpmeet"..Its hold the man up cuz he cant handle it!

So he can ***** and whine about his sinus infection..or his boss beign a jerk.and the house beign a mess ..And she can stifle it and have sex with him so he isnt terrorized and petrified by the woman who speaks.

NOT!

ROAR!!!!

Love

Dallas