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#11
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So not true in our marriage. Steve loves to talk - and I'd say he loves me talking to him even MORE than I want to. He tells me he relishes in my details of the day, of my goals, my fears, and my likes/dislikes.
However, we usually don't talk a whole lot about issues, because the issues normally are just the different ways that he and I evaluate information and respond - whether it's emotionally (me) or practically (him). We always do better when we leave these differences alone and have a sense of humor about them. Otherwise, we're friends before we're anything else. Why would I not talk to a friend? Why would he not talk with me? It feels completely natural, imo. Now........what would be really really really funny is if Steve waltzed into this thread and moaned that he wished his wife would just shut the hell up every now and then. ![]() |
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#12
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Exactly Mystic.
Why would one not talk to a friend? I hardly see what "marriage" has to do with it. You either talk well with someone, or you don't. So do or don't talk accordingly.
__________________
What Arrrr ya' lookin' at ninja?!
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#13
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Woot! Great topic. In my own relationships, I've found the truth of this to be about 50-50. Talking about our feelings promotes intimacy about half the time and exacerbates the problem the other half. I am a hard-arse who finds it difficult to talk about my feelings and my honey gets turned on when I let my guard down. The following events, which I am too much of a lady to discuss in detail, greatly enhance our intimacy. On the other hand, at the start of our relationship we both faced a whole lot of difficulties that we quickly learned were only exaggerated by talking about them, and the only reason we're still together is that we both kept shtum about certain no-go areas.
The situation was that I moved to his country to be with him and left everything behind. I sacrificed my relationships with friends and family and abandoned contacts built up over years of gigging to move to a place where there are hardly any musicians, let alone gigs, just to be with him. He's never done anything like that, so how could he possibly empathize with the way it feels to do something like that? If I talk about it at all he just feels guilty, and that makes things worse. So it's a shtum area: if we try to discuss my feelings about that, both of us will feel awful and the goal of intimacy will not be advanced. If I don't try to verbalize it, I can go ahead and be sad about that stuff while at the same time feeling exceptionally blessed to be with him, while still understanding that my individual plight is not something he can understand - and not getting bitter about it. In short, discretion is key. It's not so black and white. Sometimes talking is the answer and sometimes it isn't.
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None are more enslaved than those who falsely believe that they are free. ~Goethe |
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#14
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Quote:
First of all its the afternoon??? Who lies in bed naked after showering in the afternoon(UNLESS you already have a GREAT relationship) And neither of you work ..or its the weekend and you have ZERO kids???..MUSING over what the other might be feeling...in a reverse scenerio... And then feeling his "terror!" as she crossed over to the side of the po mans bed(in her mind) that is lying naked next to his wife....!!!!! EEEK!!! Dun dun DUUUN!!! Compassion??? I dont think so...Sounds more like one day she hit her prime (and they had chances to be alone)..and she started looking at him like the candy shop!!! Suddenly she wanted to lick him like a loli pop if you ask me... Just admit it lady!!You woke up horny one day... Dont try and make it some magical "epiphany" of understanding... It happens to MANY women... Just hope your husband isnt "past" the point of no return once you get your groove on.. It has NOTHING to do with "talking " to much...He wont mind...(once you hit that stage).... Love Dallas
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At this point..? Im at a loss for signature words.. Last edited by DallasApple; 09-26-2008 at 07:22 PM. |
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#15
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Did ya'll notice the womans name is "Love"...What a coincidence...NOT!
LOVE Dallas
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At this point..? Im at a loss for signature words.. |
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#16
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Also with "Loves" epiphany and "compassion"...I wonder why she was laying there stark naked "wondering" if he would initiate sex????
It sounds more like to me she was HOPING he would and was worried if he didnt it was HER fault..(because she never wanted sex that much before)....And NOW she does!!! There in comes the "terror"!!!! DUN DUN DUUUNN!!! Love Dallas
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At this point..? Im at a loss for signature words.. |
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#17
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Quote:
__________________
None are more enslaved than those who falsely believe that they are free. ~Goethe |
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#18
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whOOt!!! And in under 10 words no less!
__________________
What Arrrr ya' lookin' at ninja?!
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#19
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