Ideas on how to make friends

Red Pill · #1 09-14-2008, 08:18 PM

This sounds wacky but it is true. I am 52 years old and I really don't remember how to make friends.
I was a member of a church and was all absorbing, and I had instant "friends" no matter where I went. I went to church there over 30 years. When I left, I had no more friends!
I left that church over 3 years ago, and I moved to a new state- along with my husband. Now, we are pretty much lost as to how to make friends...
We talk to the neighbors. I talk to the people I work with. But I don't really know what to do next.
Shoot, I don't really know what I like or what my interests are anymore.

Has this happened to any of you?
What did you do?

whereismynotecard · #2 09-14-2008, 08:48 PM

I don't have any friends. And what I do about it is hang out with my sister instead, or just be alone.

Red Pill · #3 09-14-2008, 08:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by whereismynotecard

I don't have any friends. And what I do about it is hang out with my sister instead, or just be alone.

Yeah, my sisters live 1200 miles away. I would like to have a friend to go shopping with, or do things with that we both enjoy. Some of the stuff I want to do, my husband does with me just because I don't want to go alone. Nice of him, but not very nice for him. Same thing for stuff he likes to do. He would have a better time if he had a friend who liked to go to electronic stores and motorcycle shops with him. I go, but it's not as fun for him.
Alone is fine, but not all the time.

Willamena · #4 09-14-2008, 08:53 PM

I find a good way to make friends is to talk to them. Talk is often under-rated.

zenzero · #5 09-14-2008, 09:52 PM

Friend Red Pill,
Situations in your country will surely be different than here; however the main problem these days are Making Commitments.
Friendship is about commitments; which is becoming rarer and rarer even within a family we humans are losing that over the years. Today it is not the same what it was during my parents and grand-parents time.
Suggest, start with one person in the office or neighbourhood and slowly expand your circle.
Love & rgds

whereismynotecard · #6 09-14-2008, 10:08 PM

My "friends" and I are very mean to each other. He says "I'll call you tomorrow" and he doesn't. Then I'll be talking to him on MSN, and he'll say "will you call me this weekend?" and I'll say "Yes.

" and then I won't.

And then my other friend says "I'll be in (town where I live) on such and such a date" and so I say "Cool! We'll have to hang out when you are in town." but then neither of us makes any attempt to hang out with the other one.

We all hate each other so much.

Scuba Pete · #7 09-14-2008, 10:11 PM

Anytime I want to find a friend, I just try to help someone. I volunteer to do something, somewhere for somebody. I never seem to have a shortage of friends this way.

Charity · #8 09-14-2008, 10:19 PM

Sorry to hear about your situation....Are you no longer in a church? When you said you left your church I wasn't sure if it was because of the move or that you just didn't attend anymore. I found that I had to put forth extra effort in order to find the right friends and meet new people....Our life is like seasons and sometimes certain people only stay in your life for a "season" or a certain amount of time. I wish things didn't have to change but I guess that is just part of life. I do have some friends that have been in my life since childhood, but sometimes you don't see them very often. Are you involved in any clubs or activities, sports, anything where you might find some people with similar interests? I usually never really liked the idea of a close friendship with people that I worked with, since it tends to mix business and pleasure.
I don't know if you work but perhaps if you did some volunteer work with a couple of charities, hospital, or some organization where you could meet others and strike up a conversation. If you like dancing, try some various places and start talking with some other couples, usually after you are there a couple of times people start talking and recognize you as part of their group.....I am sure that you will find some good friends soon...........

Heneni · #9 09-14-2008, 10:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by whereismynotecard

My "friends" and I are very mean to each other. He says "I'll call you tomorrow" and he doesn't. Then I'll be talking to him on MSN, and he'll say "will you call me this weekend?" and I'll say "Yes.

" and then I won't.

And then my other friend says "I'll be in (town where I live) on such and such a date" and so I say "Cool! We'll have to hang out when you are in town." but then neither of us makes any attempt to hang out with the other one.

We all hate each other so much.

LOL...you have a firm grasp on honesty. Id be your friend anytime!